I chatted with my therapists today, and told her this is one of the best days of my life. Everything is coming together in a miraculous way. I chose to not share the core of it with my readers because I am going to actively seek a publisher. I’m also going to send out my idea for a New Columbo ‘Kimbo and Wade’ that was my first venture into a detective series. I was attacked by the Kimites after Kim lied about me saying “All Christians are Fascists” – in her car – on several occasions. A Christian Fascist woman was elected President of Italy. Kim lied about being in touch with my ex-daughter who had a birthday yesterday. We have not spoken in eleven years due to her bonding with a Tea Party family, that may have had contact with Roger Stone. I am in the catbird’s seat – forever!
I will write a script ‘Italian Witch Hunt’ where Meloni comes to Springfield to make America Great – Italian Style. She works the Rapture Ready crowd that is filled with anxiety! She makes them even more agitated – and this is good, as long as you are on the Good Side of The Italian God Squad.
For some Christians, ‘rapture anxiety’ can take a lifetime to heal
AJ Willingham – 7h ago
Thirteen-year-old April Ajoy had a sense something wasn’t right. It was quiet in her Dallas house. Too quiet. Her brothers were gone. Her parents were gone. On her parents’ bed, a pile of her mother’s clothes signaled something terrifying.
Ajoy’s mind began churning, trying to remember, trying to make plans. When was the last time she had sinned? Should she refuse the mark of the beast? At least, she thought, if she was put to the guillotine during the time of tribulation, it would be a quick death.
From the moment they are old enough to understand, millions of people raised in certain Christian communities are taught that the rapture is something that can happen at any time. Though there are different schools of thought as to how such an event would go, the basic idea is the same: Righteous Christians ascend into heaven, while the rest are left behind to suffer. However it happens, it is something to be both feared and welcomed, to be prayed about and prepared for every moment of a believer’s life.
Ajoy grew up in an evangelical church, surrounded by constant reminders that the rapture was just around the corner. She was taught to never sin, since it could be the very last thing she did before Jesus returned to Earth. Dramatic rapture-themed books and movies, created as fiction, were presented as real glimpses into the end of the world.
“When i was probably 8 or 9, I remember my brothers and I spending a good 30 minutes looking out into the sky,” Ajoy tells CNN. “We took turns counting down from 10, and in that time, we were convinced Jesus would come back.”
Now 34, Ajoy is one of a growing network of “exvangelicals” who have removed themselves from what they now view as the damaging beliefs of some evangelical, Pentecostal and Baptist churches. She runs a popular TikTok account discussing faith and, among other things, the effects of traumatic religious experiences that can last for years – even a lifetime.
A question of Biblical proportions
For some Christians, ‘rapture anxiety’ can take a lifetime to heal© Provided by CNN
Scenes from books and films can influence people’s imaginings — and fears — about the rapture. In the 2000 film “Left Behind,” the mass disappearance of people causes widespread chaos. – IMDB
“Rapture anxiety,” as it is often called, is recognized by some faith experts and mental health professionals as a type of religious trauma. Darren Slade, the president and CEO of the Global Center for Religious Research, has been studying religious trauma across several faiths and denominations for years.
“This is a real thing. It’s a chronic problem,” he says of rapture anxiety. “This is a new area of study, but in general, our research has revealed that religious trauma leads to an increase of anxiety, depression, paranoia and even some OCD-like behaviors: ‘I need to say this prayer of salvation so many times,’ ‘I need to confess my sins so often.’”
“Now imagine,” he continues, “You are taught that at any minute, you could be left here on Earth. What does that do to the teenager who just had premarital sex, or even simply took the Lord’s name in vain?”
Experiences like Ajoy’s – a latent fear of an impending, inevitable end – are very common among communities of religious trauma survivors. On social media, former church members recall being tricked by church leaders into watching violent rapture-themed films or crying themselves to sleep thinking about people and pets that would be left behind when the end finally came.
Chelsea Wilson of Marietta, Georgia tells CNN that while growing up in an evangelical community, talk of the rapture was so intrinsic that children would play pranks to scare each other into believing everyone around them had been raptured.
“As if,” Wilson says, “it were a scary campfire story.”
For some Christians, ‘rapture anxiety’ can take a lifetime to heal© Provided by CNN
Different Christian groups vary widely on what the Bible says about a rapture. – Adobe Stock
The concept of the rapture, known theologically as dispensational premillennialism, is not prevalent in Catholic or mainline Protestant denominations like Episcopalianism or Presbyterianism, and is most commonly adhered to in evangelical and fundamental churches. This line of theology draws heavily upon a letter from the Apostle Paul to the Thessalonians, included in the Bible, that says believers in Jesus would be snatched or seized into the air.
Interpretations of this verse vary widely among Christian leaders, many of whom see it as a common example of poetic metaphor among Paul’s writings. However, this striking imagery forms the basis of a lot of modern ideas about the rapture – so much so, Slade says it’s not uncommon for people with religious trauma to report having a fear of heights as they imagine their final ascent.
Survivors also cite the influence of fiction works, like the “Left Behind” book series and the 2000 movie adaptation, which they say were presented in their church circles as accurate glimpses into a post-rapture future. These works have reached such a level of infamy in these faith communities that some survivors say the descriptions of suffering and terror in the series greatly influenced their rapture-related fears. (There is a reason Ajoy’s initial thought of the guillotine seems oddly specific – it features in a graphic execution scene in the 1972 rapture film, “A Thief in the Night.”)
Slade knows just how deep modern rapture theology can go. As a Baptist preacher and religious scholar, he was surrounded by peers who would attend “end of days” or “end of times” conferences. These meetings, many of which are still held today, focus heavily on events in the Christian Book of Revelation, and attempt to connect scriptural elements with current events in the world. It’s why fringe groups are left in the lurch when predictions about the end of days don’t manifest.
However, Slade’s biblical studies eventually led him to an uncomfortable truth: The rapture, as it is taught in some Baptist, evangelical and fundamentalist communities, is scantly mentioned in the Bible. In fact, modern rapture theology only dates back to the 1800s.
This and other realizations led Slade to leave the Christian faith and focus his energy on the academic side of religion. It was a devastating transition.
“I lost my family, I lost my community. I lost everything,” Slade says. Eventually, he was diagnosed with complex PTSD from his experiences.
A shared experience
For Christians who begin to question their beliefs, the fear of what could happen if they name their doubts out loud can be just as overwhelming as rapture anxiety itself.
“It’s taboo to talk about,” Ajoy says. “Because there is this idea that if you need to worry about the rapture, well, what have you done to worry about?”
Ajoy, who still identifies as a Christian, first questioned rapture theology when she was in her late teens, after discovering that the word “rapture” doesn’t appear in the Bible at all. Years later, she mustered the courage to ask a question in a closed Facebook group.
“Did anyone else ever genuinely think they got left behind as kids?”
The post received hundreds of responses.
“So many people said, ‘I thought I was the only one,’” Ajoy says.
Slade says suffering in silence, and the threat of losing one’s entire community, compounds religious trauma. Finding other people who have had similar experiences can provide a much-needed voice in the wilderness of doubt.
It can also lead people to redefine their faith, or abandon it altogether. The number of Americans identifying as Christian has been steadily dropping for years A 2022 Pew Research Survey estimates about 64% of Americans identify as Christians, but that number could drop below half by 2070 – and could be surpassed by a majority population with no religious affiliation.
“There’s no doubt that we are seeing a major paradigm shift in Christianity,” he says. “One of the common things people are deconstructing for is, they don’t feel welcome. They don’t feel the church matches their personal values. They are tired of what they see as a system peddling in shame and rejection.”
Nearly every day, Ajoy gets messages from TikTok followers who are grateful for her content, and grateful for a safe place to bear witness to painful religious memories.
“It still surprises me how many people think they are still going through this alone,” she says.
Even now, Ajoy admits that every once in a blue moon, when the house gets quiet and she can’t see her partner or children, she’ll feel a reflexive pang of panic.
“To people who are going through this, who are questioning, I want to say that there is no fear in love,” she says. “You shouldn’t have to be afraid of the answer.”
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Stalking A Author
Everyone that knows me knows I am really into genealogies. So are ninety million other people. However, very few people have experienced the living hell I am still experiencing from Kim Haffner, and our neighbors she turned against me – in order to destroy me!
A couple of weeks ago, my new neighbor told me she was not taking sides in the feud Kim and I are having. She moved in six months ago and right away she remained distant, even avoided me. I figured Haffner had done her evil gossip nummber on her. How unfair and diabolical. This mother has enough problems then to be dragged into the snake pit Haffner has created, she drawing in five other neighbors. This woman has been deprived of her peace of mind and the enjoyment of her new home. She has children to raise. She has never heard my version of events – from me! I have no desire to get her on my side. What this is – is STALKING! Kim Hafner wants to be in my head – forever! She demands she be the center of attention. She is a sociopath that will employ, and use everyone around her. She is the one that reels them in.
Kim Haffner and I were good friends, once upon a time – until I gave her my sister’s terrible biography to read – that she claims she did not read! I used Kim and her late dog for a Columbo detective revival I had in mind. I had been looking at my Grandfather’s connections to Black Mask authors and wanted to see if I could be Raymond Chandler-like. I showed Sue Haffner and her granddaughter my workup at Sue’s house. This super Christian saw my blog about ‘Kimbo and Wade’. Kim read my chapter inspired by her Daisy – who suddenly died! Her replacement, Lola, is noise pollution who barks at everyone who uses the stairs, or walks by.
One day while on the stairs, I felt pain in my right ear due to Lola’s amplified non-stop barking that ended when I closed the door to my appartment. Hence, this menace started barking every time I opened my door, and then when it heard me unlatch the lock, I went to a ear doctor, and complained to management who gave her a warning. This launched her evil campaign against two cats many tenants had befriended. This was a big FUCK YOU to the managers. She did nothing to curtail what they asked her to put an end to. Indeed, she began to harass a seventy-one year old man – to this day!
Things went south after I gave her the biography of Christine Rosamond Benton, a world famous artist who married into the famous Benton family who had much to do with the creation of the Oregon Territory. I told her this book was written by a ghost writer paid for by a rival of my niece and I – who I sent my copy to years ago. I told Haffner I was going to order a new copy, and as the persona of Kimbo, she agreed to read it and go over it with me.
After a month, I asked for my book back. To my horror about ten pages were dogeared. I called her and asked her if she gave this book to someone else to read. I told her why I was asking. She said the book must have come like that. I have videos of me reading from this book – before I leant it to my neighbor -who I began to ignore. I did not want to get into a feud with her. Haffner called me and asked why I was aloof. I lied. The nightmare began. The stalking began, because she was losing face – big time. I suspect she thought we would become lovers
In my sister’s bio, there are claims of sexual abuse of children that I did not want others to read. Haffner worked at the Johnson Unit and had some training as a therapist. She did not like how I talked to my upstairs neighbor’s caregiver who had gone to her car to take a break when Cheyl started throwing things on the floor to get my attention. I asked Kim to call her. I heard the phone ring, and no answer. Then I heard knocking at my door. When I opened it, Cheryl tumbled in. She was screaming;
“Call 911! Call 911!”
I called 911. The caregiver came back from her twenty-minute break – that Cheryl knew she took. I wondered why Cheryl did not call 911, or, pick up the phone – and ask that person to call 911. Instead, she came down a flight of stairs and PRETENDED there was a dire emergency. She was breaking the law. I knew Cheryl before I moved in the Hell Home. She had a giant crush on me. This is – STALKING!
Haffner saw her neighbor getting a lot of attention – that she was no longer getting after she lied about my book – that Sue Haffner wanted to read because she went to High School with Garth Benton, as did her husband. He was their school’s most famous alumni. He acted in to movies. I talked to Sue on the phone and told her this. I might have told her there is a movie script about Christine and Garth. Sue Haffner now owned SUPER BRAGGING RIGHTS! Did she dogear those pages? There were other suspects. I have the right to know. This is my family matter and history.
Here are some are some quotes from Nurse Ratched’s GASLIGHTING campaign she conducted from her bench. She told many lies t get much attention. I’m surprised she did not try to sell them.
“JOHN’S SECRET SELF. FIVE DOLLARS!”
To involve my daughter she or her family met is more STALKING. We had a falling out when she brought drunks into our story.
“Too bad you can’t talk to her!”
“You talked to my family!”
“Christians are Christian Nazis!”
“It’s all added up now. You are mentally deranged! You’re crazy. Downright crazy!”
“Reeling in your next victim!”
“God help your soul!”
“Dorene is your next victim!”
“Pissed off that I didn’t read your book!”
“Sat on my desk, and that was the end of it!
In the last video we see that Kim tried to reel Cheryl in, and with the help of our neighbor’s, Krista and her lover, who would do Christian Justice and have me hauled off to the Johnson Unit. This is the evil editing Haffner would do on my life story that she thought she would star in. Did she consider us getting married? Will she do anything to get a big part in my autobiography? I am reminded of the Steven King’s book.
In the last video I read from Snyder’s book. He tried to get me to sign a non-disclosure agreement so I could not finish my book began before Christine drowned on her first sober birthday. I have 33 years of sobriety. Self-help books are written by those who suffered – and overcame! Note that I have book markers in this tragic story Haffner and my neighbors had no empathy for. They claim I am victimizing them. If the book came with dogears I would not have used bookmarks. I would have returned it.
I am seeking an attorney. The allegations that my parents worked in tandem to sexually abuse my four year old sister is here say, and not firsthand information. This is why I did not want Haffer to pass this book around to our neighbors, or, people I do not know. This was the cause of our fallout. She and her family read ‘Kimbo And Wade’ and would surely want to read a book that ties them to famous artists – and an actor! This bio was proof I was not a bull-shitter, or deranged. Haffern no doubt show our neighbors Kimbo and Wade, then asked what happened to us. She invented a diabolical story.
Yesterday, Sue Hafner, returned my call. I had just discovered that Garth Benton (Paul Garfield Benton) went to Reseda High School, and graduated in 1959. Two months ago I was at Sue and Jack’s home looking at family photos, and the 1958 yearbook, because Sue had graduated in 1958 from Reseda High. I was going to help her with a story about her grandfather, Maynard, a renowned pole vaulter. Jack Webb was at his wedding.
As it turns out, the actress, Merry Anders, played police woman, Dorothy Miller, in the series Dragnet, and, co-starred in the movie with Garth Benton, who played Buddy ‘Raiders From Beneath The Sea. Merry starred in ‘The Hypnotic Eye’ and ‘The Beauty and the Beast’. This makes Garth the most famous graduate of Reseda High.
On June 12 I connected my story ‘Kimbo and Wade’ with the Hypnotic Eye. Kim Hafner is my model for Kimbo, which is Kim’s nickname. Kim lives downstairs with Daisy, who is the model of Witzelina. The synchronicity is amazing! Merry might be the first T.V. police woman. Sue was not happy when she saw the words on the T-Shirt Kimbo was wearing. She is the New Detective who will change the game again.
As an amazing coincidence, Christine and I had a falling out in front of her second husband, Rick Partlow, who was a good friend, Bruce Fairbairn, who was present. Bruce was one of the stars of ‘The Rookie’. Rick was a co-star in a movie.
“Partlow-Rosamond ENCINO A garden ceremony at the home of Mrs. Christine Rosamond united her and Richard Partlow. a television personality. Mrs. Rosamond is the daughter of Mrs. Rosemary Miles, also of Encino, and Vic Presco of San Francisco. The bridgegroom’s parents are Mr. and Mrs. Ron Kalina of North Hollywood. The bride was attended by her sister. Mrs. Vicki Prather. and Miss Shannon Sidle was also a member of the wedding parly for which Bruce Fairbairn served as best man. A reception followed the ceremony.”
Two weeks ago I gave Kim my copy of ‘When You Close Your Eyes’ to read. When she is done, we will compare notes. I asked her to mark the pages where something smelled fishy. Kimbo and Wade are on the case of Killer Rogue Wave! We are going to study Garth’s words, and hidden agendas that I explore in another movie idea ‘Anatomy of a Rogue Wave’.
EXTRA! I just talked to Alisa who is in charge of the RH yearbooks. She knew Garth. She drove down to Long Beach with him to meet up with his HS Flame, Eija Riitta Heninonen, who was a foreign exchange student. Wow! What a dish! Did Merry Anders remind Garth of his Finish Flame? Did she fire-up his Bohemian Ways, he wanting a more exotic and erotic lifestyle? Did Christine and Garth have fights over her, because she messed him up when she rejected him?
Anders was born Mary Helen Anderson in Chicago in 1934, the only child of Charles, a contractor, and Helen Anderson. Anders was of German, Irish and Swedish descent. In 1949, Anders and her mother visited Los Angeles for two weeks. They decided to remain in Los Angeles permanently while Charles Anderson remained in Chicago. While she was a student at John Burroughs Middle School, Anders met former actress Rita LeRoy who encouraged her to begin a modeling career. While working as a junior model, Anders began studying acting at the Ben Bard Playhouse. It was there that a talent scout from 20th Century Fox spotted her and signed her to a film contract in 1951.
Kimbo and Wade will be linked with this idea.
John Ambrose <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Sat, Sep 8, 2018 at 8:41 AM
Alisa…On July 23,2017 I sent you an e-mail informing you there exist a biography about the Bentons. I have come to suspect there is a rival biography being written. If so, and you are aware of it, I inform you all the information I shared with you is protected by my Copyright. My character has been defamed by Kim Hafner, the daughter of Sue and Jack Hafner, who are alumni of Reseda High. This slander will be applied to any rival biography in a legal manner.