Zardoz of Empoli – A Review

Only a handful of people know about the Vortex of Empoli. It was there when Caesar came to delve into its mysteries. It is said, Julius crossed over. In the painting above, it looks like Jesus is being lifted out of a well. This can not be a coffin. There are accounts of Jesus going down into Hades to save certain people. This is an entrance to the vortex.

Two days ago, it occurred to me, if I don’t do a proper review of Boorman’s movie ‘Zardoz’ no one will, and, the secret of this amazing movie will be lost – forever!

Before I begin, I must warn my reader that I am going to induce a acid flashback with those who have taken this hallucinogen, and take those who have not – on their first trip. For this reason, you much remove all Emploli glassware – from your house! You must bury it in your backyard. Don’t let your dog see you did this. The chances that you will fixate on these phallic systems, is high! You may never be able to leave Level One, thereafter. You will be stuck on the Lowest Bardo. You will be complelled to purchase silk shirts, high shoes, and go to a Disco. You have been warned! For those with some Vortex experience, meditate on Level Two.

As far as we can tell, there have been three incantations of ‘The Phallic Exterminator’ in modern times. They are…….the Zig-Zag Man, Zed, and, Tony Manero. When playing the video of Tony walking, try to keep your mind from wandering over to the Empoli, or, you will come to believe life and the universe is a pulsating phallic symbol. This is partially true. Knowing what part – is the rub!

Before the invention of the Lava Lamp there was the Empoli glass decanter that induced erotic feelings for ones mate. This was ten years before women were believed capable of stimulating conversations, and, instigating sexual intercourse. Millions of men feigned being intimidated by the new boldness of the opposite sex. It was Zed who broke the shame barrier when Consuela failed to shame him in front of her peers in the movie Zardoz. This was a male-liberating moment that produced a child, a vortex born son.

Consuela is a Immortal Virgin who is threatened by Zed’s errection. This is before Dan Brown and ‘Holy Blood, Holy Grail’ that introduces the idea Jesus got Mary Magdalene pregnant and born his child. I see Zed as Joseph, ‘The Undivine’ the legal husband of Mary, the Virgin Vessel.  How Joseph satisfied God’s laws on having intercourse, is the great void – that is the entrance to the vortex, where all the Un-asked Questions about Joseph, are permitted! The Joseph Cult was very BIG in Nero’s time.

It was the all male members of this cult that were fed to lions and burned like torches on the cross. Epoli decanters were made about this time, they made to hold the Holy Errection Spirit. Because the exact same procedure is used today, it is impossible to know if you are getting a Pure Joseph phallic symbol. Because of the faux decanters, that cause the user to become a sex fiend, it is the unwise man who tries to cheat the laws of gravity.

Take note that all the people in the religious painting, are blonde. Jesus is a strapping Nordic type that wants his blonde woman there when he emerges from the vortex. This is Mary Magdalene wearing the same dress as she contemplates a skull. Joseph ‘The Father Penis’ looks down and conducts the whole operation. On the left is Zachariah grieving over his son John’s severed head. Everyone thought he would take Joseph’s place until Jesus was born. John represents a castration. Through John the idea is put in the world, that men are ‘The Victims’. This idea replaces the ancient idea that men – deserve more sex – just because! The Age of the Demanding Male Victim, has begun.

Captain Zig-Zag

The zouave soldier portrayed on the front of Zig-Zag products is colloquially known as the “Zig-Zag man”. The choice of a member of this French North African regiment as a Zig-Zag icon originates from a folk story about an incident in the battle of Sevastopol. When the soldier’s clay pipe was destroyed by a bullet, he attempted to roll his tobacco using a piece of paper torn from a musket cartridge.[1]

In an advertising campaign in the 1960s, Zig-Zag published leaflets with the zouave facing the viewer (much like Uncle Sam) and the caption, “Captain Zig-Zag wants YOU!” The reason for using the rank of “captain” is unclear as the Zig-Zag man is portrayed in the fez and embroidered jacket of an ordinary zouave and is not an officer.

Used loosely, “bardo” is the state of existence intermediate between two lives on earth. According to Tibetan tradition, after death and before one’s next birth, when one’s consciousness is not connected with a physical body, one experiences a variety of phenomena. These usually follow a particular sequence of degeneration from, just after death, the clearest experiences of reality of which one is spiritually capable, and then proceeding to terrifying hallucinations that arise from the impulses of one’s previous unskillful actions. For the prepared and appropriately trained individuals, the bardo offers a state of great opportunity for liberation, since transcendental insight may arise with the direct experience of reality; for others, it can become a place of danger as the karmically created hallucinations can impel one into a less than desirable rebirth.[citation needed]

About Royal Rosamond Press

I am an artist, a writer, and a theologian.
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1 Response to Zardoz of Empoli – A Review

  1. Reblogged this on Rosamond Press and commented:

    This is my craziest post.

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