Smoking Blunts With Kotek

Smoky La Mota

Posted on May 2, 2023 by Royal Rosamond Press

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For two months I fretted on how to connect Victoria and Starfish with Griner and Kotek, in a NEW fictional manner. With the speculation as to who our new Governor would smoke pot with, in the new fictional way, the answer is……Miriam Starfish Christling.

“I’m going to smoke allot of pot at the Country Fair. Will you buy me a new set of drums?”

Victoria was studying the Russian community in Eugene. Her wife wondered if this was the community her parents established on Mount Shasta.

“I want to take some shrooms. I want to try Psilocybin!”

Broccoli will never make a movie out of The Royal Janitor after seeing what happened to Budweiser and Disney. I have never been in it for the money, thus I have elevated the writing of Ian flaming to High Literature, on a level of Victor Hugo – which was my ambition. However, I sent a message to Amy and mentioned a academic partnership that will make money for us. If she is smart, she would be studying my claim I am a psychic-prophet, a being the Russian Spy Complex has been trying to produce for a long time. It would behoove the powers that be to spread MISINFORMATION about me, slam the ball in their court, and PROVE I AM FAKE! I am batting a thousand percent.

Good luck! If Brittney had not been released, and Tina had not won, my novel, and this blog, would be dead in the water. I did what real good spies do – for real!

Smoky was my female detective based on La Mota.

John Presco

Tina Kotek Is in Everybody’s Political Blunt Rotation

It is possible that’s because she’s the only Oregon politician anybody could name.

Weird vibes. (Tim Saputo)

By Aaron Mesh and Zave Payne

May 20, 2023 at 8:22 pm PDT

Lately, Oregon politicians have been getting a little too close to the stash. Secretary of State Shemia Fagan resigned this month after WW revealed she was moonlighting for a cannabis outfit.

But for some of us, this scandal raised a question: Which Oregon politician would you most like to smoke a joint with?

So we made it the latest question in our roving civics quiz, called Hot Mic. Zave Payne, a Reed College filmmaker, asked patrons at the Portland Farmers Market in the South Park Blocks which politicians would be in their dream blunt rotation.

The most common answer? Gov. Tina Kotek.

Actually, she was the only answer. Was this because she was the only Oregon politician whose name anybody could remember? We’ll let you decide.

‘Our Starfish’ Will Leave The World Behind

Posted on July 31, 2022 by Royal Rosamond Press

The Royal Janitor

Chapter New Cold War Heroes


John Presco

Putin’ s men took Starfish and Victoria to a special prison, where a hologram of the Russian leader introduced our BAD agents to foreign prisoners. One was a giant of a woman that played basketball. Miriam told this forlorn woman that she was an athlete, an amazing hurdler – who has never competed!

“We ran in a grove of trees felled in a windstorm. Ivan competed at Hayward field in Eugene Oregon.”

One of the men behind the mirror got on Google and brought up Victoria Thachuk, a Ukrainian hurdler that will compete at Hayward field, while Russia is banned. Putin’s hologram was fed this information, and his image pointed to a screen. When a video of Viktoriya in a race was played, both our spies gasped.

“They are like sisters – twins! “

“I want a pair of sunglasses – just like that! I must have! I can beat her! She is so beautiful! I must have her! She is my double!”

“The Men Behind The Mirror – and Putin’s Hologram-Double – were shocked. All eyes fell on ‘Her Original Victoria’. to see her reaction. Having concluded a week earlier that Starfish was a Toxic Narcissist, she took it on the chin, with much aplomb. Smiling. our agent said;

“I must have her too. She reminds me of someone!”

Starfish gave her wife the most heart melting smile, and she came and put her arm around her waist. Putin’s hologram already confronted the happy couple with the videos taken in their hotel room.

“It is true. We are Lesbians!”

“But, we are married!”

“Don’t worry. Most of our spies are LGBTQ people. It comes with the territory. We can not be good family folks for the reason we travel allot, and, we have to keep many secrets from our Loved One. We have watched you two closely to see how you lie to one another. So far, one of you told a little white lie, while the other -TOLD A GIANT LIE!

Victoria had to do allot of quick assessing. She was grateful for the Wizard’s Crazy Test, that asks if she and Miriam peed on the stuffed Unicorn, and, wiped their ass on Babe Ruth’s baseball? She understood life was full of Guilt and Shame hurdles. She was not going to take her husband’s inventory – just because she was prompted to. Coming down on the right side of, things, was the international game. Everything else – was pretty obvious. The rules were very pedestrian. Analyzing The Guilt Trip people were on – was the real Job. The Bible has proven this is how – we really are!

“I can take her!”

Team Putin worked the deal where Starfish was the only entry from an Island off Siberia in the Pacific. On the plane for Oregon, Starfish blurted out.

“I’m going to smoke allot of pot at the Country Fair. Will you buy me a new set of drums?”

Victoria was studying the Russian community in Eugene. Her wife wondered if this was the community her parents established on Mount Shasta.

“I want to take some shrooms. I want to try Psilocybin!”

Starfishes wish list took up the whole flight. Viktoriya Tkachuk had activated her mates parallel universe, jag. The movie PI came up mid-Atlantic. Bored with the recitation of her wish-list for the other life, Victoria called her bluff. She was bored.

‘Enough! Let’s hear it. Recite the movie PI backwards!

The plane was full of spies and mikes that listened, in, to what sounded like a Christian talking in tongues.

“I have no way of telling if you are….doing a great and fantastic job! Stop, I want to nap!”

When they went to Hayward Field, our heroes looked down on the practice field. Looking up, our twins beheld each other for the first time.

to be continued,similar%20to%20the%20neurotransmitter%20serotonin.

Viktoriya Tkachuk of Team Ukraine competes in the Women’s 400m… News Photo – Getty Images

Ukrainian athletes savor track and field world championships – The Washington Post

(1) Viktoriya Tkachuk | Facebook

Viktoriya Tkachuk is at Hayward Field.

July 23 at 11:56 PM  · Eugene, OR  · 

Relay 4 to 400 m is when before the start you worry not only for yourself, but also for the team! And that’s adding strength! 🇺🇦

It’s very unfortunate to stay in ninth place, but for today this is our result and we gave our best at this world championship! And every participant didn’t take an easy path to this competition!

The BAD Scatology Report

Posted on June 14, 2022 by Royal Rosamond Press

What to Do When You Break Your Wrist

Bones of the Upper Limb Poster

Bones of the Upper Limb Poster

The Royal Janitor


John Presco

Chapter 7 The Bonebreakers of Iceland

Victoria Bond got sick and ran to the bathroom after hearing Starfish’s plot on how they were going to kill Putin.

“When he shakes my hand, I’m going to grab it real hard. I will bring my left elbow down on his Radius bone – and break it! This will cause a compound fracture that I will push into his chest and heart. I will give you the most loving look before I am shot dead. There will be a lot of blood. I will be covered in blood. Do you think you can handle it?”

Starfish did not go into the bathroom to comfort her husband who was having an out-of-body experience. When she emerged, Victoria was filled in on the paper her parents wrote while at the University of Oregon. A early Viking settlement was found on Iceland. Illustrations in a cave revealed the fighting and hunting techniques of The Bone Crushers as they were named. There were not trees from which to fashion weapons.

“The Wizard wants us to grab Putin’s stool and bring it back to England. How are we going to fit that into the itinerary?” Victoria sheepishly asked, as it was now clear two female agents had a lot of To Do put on their plate. How to get shit our of a ruthless killer, guilty of genocide, and, put his bone into his heart.

“I’m leaving it up to your to envision how this excrement extraction will go. The Wizard suspect Putin has cancer. This would severely weaken his crusade of Europe, he using the LGBT people as an excuse. He gives the impression he is a Superman. Let us give a powerful message……


Putin’s bodyguards collect his poop on trips abroad and take it back to Russia with them, report says

Bill Bostock 

Jun 10, 2022, 8:19 AM

Russian President Vladimir Putin takes part in an economic forum of former Soviet countries held in Bishkek, via a video link in Moscow on May 26, 2022. (Photo by Mikhail METZEL / SPUTNIK / AFP) (Photo by MIKHAIL METZEL/SPUTNIK/AFP via Getty Images)
Russian President Vladimir Putin seen in Moscow on May 26, 2022. 
  • Putin’s bodyguards collect his poop when he travels and take it back to Russia, a report says.
  • It appears to be an attempt to stop foreign spies from discovering information about his health. 
  • The claim was made in a report from Russia experts Regis Gente and Mikhail Rubin.

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President Vladimir Putin’s bodyguards collect his poop when he travels abroad, according to a report from two investigative journalists. 

The claim was made by Regis Gente, the author of two books on Russia, and Mikhail Rubin, who has covered Russia for 13 years, in a Thursday report for the French news magazine Paris Match.

According to the article, the responsibility for collecting Putin’s feces lies with the Federal Protection Service, the department tasked with protecting Putin and other government officials.

According to Gente and Rubin, each time Putin needs to go, an FSO agent places his excrement in a specialized packet so that it can be returned to Russia in a suitcase.

A privately owned ladder truck parked near City Park in Coeur d’Alene caused many citizens to voice their concerns over the political statement flag attached to the back of it.

Starfish Flight 505

Posted on March 11, 2022 by Royal Rosamond Press


Here’s the Palestinian version from the current Palestine Museum exhibit:

Russian plane leaves U.S. with expelled ‘spies’ – POLITICO

The Royal Janitor


John Presco

Copyright 2022

I composed this chapter in my head several days ago and posted on this process.

Chapter – Flight 505

Professor John von John did not want to be dragged into a international incident, but, Starfish made him an offer he could not refuse.

“Do you want to swim with my deep Russian fish? Pack an overnight bag! Pack and extra wig!”

“I don’t wear a wig!”

“Yeah -right!”

When the threesome landed in Washington they were driven to CIA headquarters at Langley where John was fitted with a European suit and a black patch over his left eye. John was happy when a straightjacket was strapped on Starfish, he upset with her that she had made him afraid, once again. When a doctor shot her full of methedrine……

“Don’t do that! She’s crazed enough!”

“Stand back Doctor. We know what we are doing!’

“He’s not a – real Doctor! He is a fraud!” spat Starfish, who was drooling saliva like a rabid dog. That’s when two huge agents grabbed Starfish, brusquely, and led her to the helicopter for Dullas airport. Everyone was getting in character. A guard was assigned to Victoria.

When the helicopter landed next to the Ilyushin Il-96, Starfish was the first on the tarmac. She was kicking and screaming. The Russian spies lined up to board, were, enthralled. When John von John emerged, shouting orders, they knew he was ‘The Evil One’ the super agent for M-16 they had heard so much about.

“That’s him! The guy with the eyepatch!”

A reporter for Russian television moved in for a close-up! The steel-blue madness in Starfish’s eyes- sent chills down your spine!”

“Long live mother Russia! ” Starfish shouted. And a chill overcame the leader of the Russian people.

On cue, John von John came up to Starfish – and slapped her hard across her face! Then, he hit her even harder! There was a gasp from the other spies when they saw a rivulet of blood flow from her mouth, and on to her loin cloth.

“Die – you Imperialist Dog! Die!” Starfish shouted – in Old Russian.

Starfish had full sympathy from her fellow spies. But, when she was lifted on the shoulder of the giant guards, and carried up the steps on their shoulder – like a cross – there was a collective gasp when her gold crucifix dangling from her neck, caught the setting sun!

“Martyr!” a Russian woman whispered. “Martyr!” the forty spies mumbled in concert. The fearless leader in Moscow, who was watching on T.V. said;

“Bring her to me when she arrives. Get her cleaned up. Put some clothes on her. Those bastards must have tortured her, kept her in a dungeon. All she’s wearing it a tattered…….pink loincloth.”

On the plane, the agents lined up to talk to Starfish ‘The Ros Martyr’. Victoria handled the overflow. She was wired knowing the agents couldn’t wait to talk about their TOP SECRET spy missions in the U.S.

The Coeur d’Alene Fire Department was made aware of the truck on Saturday, June 11. According to the fire department, numerous citizens reached out to voice their concerns over the flag.

The flag itself displays the letters “LGBT,” with L representing the Statue of Liberty, G representing guns, B representing beer and T representing former president Donald Trump.

“The Coeur d’Alene Fire Department supports all lawful and peaceful gatherings in our community, as well as an individual’s freedom of speech,” the department said in a press release. “We do not support, promote or represent any form of discrimination.”

The fire department went on to apologize for “the poor reflection that this privately owned fire truck portrayed” and thanked citizens for their concerns and feedback, as it helped them address the situation in a timely manner.

The Plot to Kill Putin

About The Book

A Frighteningly Plausible, Fast-Paced Thriller about a Russian Cyberattack on America and a Plot to Kill President Putin, Involving Fake News and Anonymous Hackers

The CIA has learned that the Kremlin is about to launch a sophisticated propaganda operation aimed at discrediting and disrupting the United States and ultimately restoring Russia to great nation status.The operation revolves around a plot to implicate the United States in the attempted assassination of Russian President Vladimir Putin. The plan was conceived by a Russian billionaire and former FSB officer named Andrei Turov. For years Turov has been developing the infrastructure for a new kind of warfare that exploits weaknesses in western democracies and manipulates public opinion. His organization offers the Kremlin plausible deniability.

But the United States has its own secret weapon: Christopher Niles, a former CIA intelligence officer, who understands Turov’s ambitions and capabilities. It falls to him and his small team–composed of his journalist half-brother Jon, a special forces operative he would trust with his life, and Anna Carpenter, a resourceful US senator with deep roots in the intelligence community–to unravel Turov’s plot and restore truth to a world spiraling into chaos.

The Plot to Kill Putin is a chillingly realistic, timely thriller that delves into the secret corners of Vladimir Putin’s Russia, exploring the shifting world order and the murky realm of US-Russia relations.

Previously published in the hardcover as The Children’s Game.


Posted on April 21, 2022 by Royal Rosamond Press


A Movie and Series about Miriam Starfish Christling, her upbringing, and her becoming the bodyguard of Victoria Rosemond Bond.


John Presco

Copyright 2022

Miriam’s Wardrobe

Posted on March 20, 2018 by Royal Rosamond Press

The Royal Janitor

Serena watched Miriam walk towards her for their meeting. As far as she could tell, all her bodyguard wore was some kind of loin clothe – with sandals! Her long auburn hair covered her breasts.

About Royal Rosamond Press

I am an artist, a writer, and a theologian.
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