The Royal Janitor
Serena watched Miriam walk towards her for their meeting. As far as she could tell, all her bodyguard wore was some kind of loin clothe – with sandals! Her long auburn hair covered her breasts.
“Please! Be seated. And stop staring down at me as if you are going to put me in a big pot and cook me! You’ve been given a nickname, you know……..Tarzarena! Some whisper this after you pass; “There goes Lady Greystoke” Have you seen a Tarzan movie?”
“No. I’ve only seen two movies, Ben Hur, and, PI.”
“Only two? PI? What is that about?”
“It’s about a Kabbalist mathematical genius who finds another dimension. My parents put it on our video machine every Saturday after firing up the generator. We watched Ben Hur every Easter. I can recite PI backwards. Want to hear?”
“No. Not right now. I am still in a daze. I think I spotted another Leprechaun at the frozen yogurt shop. Are they really National Treasures?”
“Yes! You can go to jail for ten years if you molest one.”
“Are there female Leprechauns?”
“Do you mind if I ask why you don’t wear a bra, or, a top of some kind? What is odd, you have never exposed a breast, or two. What is your secret?”
“You won’t freak out if I show you?”
“No! Lay it on me!”
Miriam leans forward in her chair, and tries to pull her hair away from her breast.
“Oh my God – What? What am I seeing! Holy fuck!”
“Isn’t that cool. My hair has a mind of its own and wraps around my breast to hold it firm. All women can do this if they grow their hair, and don’t wear a bra. My tits don’t sag a bit. Too bad you didn’t have the parents I had. We went back to Eden – almost. I own two dozen loincloths, because Jesus wore two styles. They are hung on hangers in my closet. I don’t have a panty and sock drawer. Which one do you like the best?”
“I’ve seen enough! No more. Don’t forget you have an appointment to see The Wizard tomorrow.”