I have been having enlightening conversations with my niece, Shannon Rosamond Benton. We have been attempting to communicate with one another. In an incestuous family system…… controlling the family secrets is surreal. This is due to the finite enmeshments, where everyone’s identities are thrown in a big pot, and the grab-bag is on. Not like a normal family, closed family systems do not deal with the death, or sickness, of a family member, very well. We barely deal with it, because we do not know how, and, it stirs up all the Old Pain we never dealt with. For this reason, I publish all our psycho-drama in this blog. It is therapy, and, a means not to get – sucked in! This is my version of Doctor Phil.
This morning Shannon accused me of starting a cat fat – just like my father did. Apparently Drew, or Shamus, found this post, and my nephew demanded Shannon get out of Vicki’s house. The call for family unity, was rebuffed. I am – The Press! Best keep me in the dark.
Shamus Dundon was not happy his cousin informed me 14 days ago my sister was put in assisted living back in September, and, is all but brain dead. Shannon was going to drive from Bullhead City and take me to see Vicki. I assumed I would stay at my sister’s house for a couple of days. I told Shannon OUR ROAD TRIP would be the highlight, because we would be stuck in a car with each other for 20 hours, and, we would be TALKING to each other. Not so with Vicki. She can no longer carry on a conversation. We may have had our last chit-chat after she compared me to Captain Vic. I asked why she, Christine, and Vicki continued to have a relationship with him.
“You three got rid of me a long time ago!”
SILENCE! I am getting the SILENT TREATMENT that fits well with Vicki’s SIILENT TREATMENT! I am reminded of Ken Kesey’s ‘One Flew Over The Coo-Coo’s Nest’. I knew Ken. I was on The Bus with him during the Eugene Parade. Because my sister Christine, was a world famous artist, there is a story here worth telling. How did a famous woman artist manage to acquire, and keep, her creative identity in this – HELL!
After I was sent to Siberia, Shannon and my father formed a close bond. I am nothing like my father. However, Shannon is just like him. My niece slings the truth around like a shooter in a mall. Any target, and fake truth – will do! Vic put Shannon on the payroll. Her grandfather was convicted of Loan Sharking in 1994. He smooth-talked a woman out of her home. Are we a Crime Family? Did Vicki know where all the bodies are buried? She won’t be ratting anyone out in the near future, or…………ever!
Drew and Shamus were with Christine at Rocky Point. There is no first hand account of the alleged accident from these two. Shannon was not there!
I insist Shannon take Shamus into a room by himself, and tape his version of events. Then, Drew is brought into the room. Let’s get it right – once and for all!
Drew, Shamus, and Shannon, did not contribute to Tom Snyder’s biography, or, to Julie Lynch’s book. Julie began the cat-fight of the century by saying my dead mother, favored me, and forced my dead sister to draw in a closet with a flashlight since the age of four.
The Information Queen, is………..not in her right mind. Long live the information queen!
“The offer was to bring you to see Vicki . Not to Vicki’s house . That is an offer that isn’t mine to suggest or imply . By the way I do not appreciate conversations we have to be repeated in accurately. Please as a favor to me, try not to act so much like your father , please. It’s irritating and it makes my cringe . I never said Vicki had a stroke ,I clarified to you , I thought she had a stroke because of her inability to form sentences. So when I answered her call ,it worried me and I left Los Angeles 24 hrs after call . I arrived at Vicki’s and Drew answered the door.
What I meant by comment is Vic never cared when he repeated conversations inaccurately , he enjoyed any reactions when he was able to stir up some shit .
Especially woman , cat fights were his favorite “
Enmeshment is a concept introduced by Salvador Minuchin to describe families where personal boundaries are diffused, sub-systems undifferentiated, and over-concern for others leads to a loss of autonomous development. Enmeshed in parental needs, trapped in a discrepant role function, a child may lose their capacity for self-direction; their own distinctiveness, under the weight of “psychic incest”; and, if family pressures increase, may end up becoming the identified patient or family scapegoat.
Enmeshment was also used by John Bradshaw to describe a state of cross-generational bonding within a family, whereby a child (normally of the opposite sex) becomes a surrogate spouse for their mother or father.
When I showed up at my father’s house, I saw he was doing well. I had several months of sobriety. My sister Vicki was living with Vic. Christine called Vicki, and I was on the phone with my famous sister. We had not talked in several years. I told her about being in AA. She said;
“Maybe there’s hope for our family!”
She did not sound enthused. The next day she calls and Vicki goes and finds me. She is beaming.
“Guess who’s trying to get a hold of you?”
“Ahhh! Santi Claus?”
“No – Marilyn!”
“You’re kidding! Where is she?”
“She’s in Oregon!”
Yeah! Oregon where you just came from.”
I got on the phone and Christine gave me Marilyn’s phone number. A week later I am driving back up to Oregon to see my first girlfriend, my old flame! Three months later I am back in California…
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