Queen Melba ‘Shit-Disturber’

‘Capturing Beauty’

A Novel for Cable Television


Jon Presco

Copyright 2017

All photographs are Copyrighted

Kimberly Bulkley snubbing me is par for the Broderick course. I recognized Daryl Bulkley’s act right off the bat. It was Melba Two. Melba Broderick manages to squirt one child out of her womb, and what a child he was – till his dying day! When Vic got Rosemary with child – four times – there was Melba at the hospital claiming them all.

“That ones mine, too! I need as many as I can get in order to restore the Stuttmeister Dynasty!”

Melba loved to play favorites. Mark was her Little Lord Fonteroy. She would have him come see her by himself. He came home with a ceder chest full of toys that he refused to share with his siblings. Grandpa Joe (second marriage) would take Mark into the garage to make stuff. Being a year younger, I was told I was too young – to even be in the garage! Come next year, when I was Mark’s age, I was still too young!

We would be put out in a tent in the backyard because we were both dirty little boys. Melba owned Suttmeister antiques. Mark would tell me I was his guest in the tent, and I had better do as he says, because he was Tent Boss. He reminds me of the Nazi drummer boy. Rosemary called Melba and screamed;

“Stop giving my children enemas!”

Vic claims his Stuttmeister aunts sexually molested him as a child – by sticking straws up his penis. Fuck, Vic! They just wanted to get all your urine out so you won’t piss little drops on the furniture! If we farted inside Melba’s house, she grabbed us, stuck us in the shower, then sat us outside for an hour! I’m seventy! Time to get all my shit out!

I have spent ten thousand hours giving our family secrets away – for free! Then, here come Murray and Daryl, who I never met, and do not know.

“Can you introduce us to your family, your daughter and grandson?”

“Why sure! I don’t see why not!”


“Ha! Ha! We got your offspring on our side. Ha! Ha! And now – we’re going to shut your sorry-ass out in the cold!”

Rosemary called Melba after Mark came home from being treated like a king;

“Stop overfeeding my son! He’s as fat as a butterball!”

Note how skinny I am, and, that smile of a gracious polite child who knows he is getting screwed, knows he is being used as a punching bag for adults, in order to get their sick needs met. Tom Snyder got paid as a ghost writer to talk about Dead Christine being taken on a Incestuous Joy Ride with Big Baby Victim, and, to make sure my novel is no competition, Tommy destroys my reputation in the art world. Nice guy! We never met. Sure would like to. I bet you Murray’s all in a huff. Did he read ‘When You Close Your Eyes’? Does he care if Tyler reads it? Or, is this just business…….

“You fucking hippie freak and loser! We are Achievers! We need to Achieve!”

When Christine grew close with Crazy Rosemary’s Baby, Melba pushed her away, and made Sane Vicki her favorite girl. Look at the look on Vickie’s face that says; “I got it all!” She has no problem not sharing, too. Mark looks like he won another Toy-filled Cruise to Grandma’s House. He loved that fucking Hawaii hat. It became his symbol of privilege.

Joe built and hung that door in back of  Tubby. I think Joe was an escaped Nazi prisoner who guarded Queen Melba after she told him who she was. I’ve been watching Twin Peaks. Joe was an engineer for the railroad and could roll a cigarette with one hand.

Melba worked hard to fuck-up Rosemary’s Babies in order to prove her Only Beloved Son was not fucking insane – and dangerous! There was always something not quite right about me. Vic said I was always “nervous” like his ex-wife.

“She could never relax. Especially around me! What was her problem?”

The photographer never missed a Rose vs. Charlotte shot. Vic hid behind Vicki when his mother looked like she was going to be shredded by the ‘She-thing! We four Presco children were always calm under fire. Just as healthy as can be, we were! We were happy to have witnesses.

I love King Victor’s ‘Why Can’t We All Just Get Along’ pose. It has got to get into the Smithsonian. Melba was like the Phantom of the Opera, a true Svengali. Look at the look on her face that is just perfect for my HBO series ‘Capturing Beauty’.

Princess Daryl needs my Aryan offspring in order to  complete her Methodist Good Girl sash. All she needs is a G for Grandma, and she will die in 1953 saluting our German President in front of all her white-haired Do-gooders who make it to White Heaven.

You will rue the day you fucked with Christine and I….’The Family Artists’. We have ‘The Sight’. Have you ever noticed Melba’s hair? Where have we seen that hair before? Uh-huh! Your dirty little secret – is out!

In looking at Daryl’s e-mails I found one that said the Stuttmeisters were furriers from Mecklenburg. Let me introduce you to our kin, who may be part Negro! Melba’s middle name is Charlotte. My family buried me alive in Springfield Oregon. Below is a list of creative people buried next to my Suttmeister kin in Berlin.

“Queen Charlotte Sound was named by James Strange on August 5, 1786, in honour of Charlotte of Mecklenburg-Strelitz, the wife of King George III. Strange was the leader of a fur trading expedition of two vessels, the Captain Cook, under Captain Henry Lawrie, and the Experiment, under Captain John Guise.”


Jon Presco

Copyright 2017



About Royal Rosamond Press

I am an artist, a writer, and a theologian.
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1 Response to Queen Melba ‘Shit-Disturber’

  1. Reblogged this on Rosamond Press and commented:

    I am going to rename this chapter……..Melba’s Second Son – Butterball

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