The first Super Bowl commercial was for Quibi. What the? They had to put in “Bank Heist” after this terrible ad was made. Off the bat, I have no empathy for dudes wearing masks in any downtown. Were they armed? Did they carry knives? Shoot their ass! Are those kangaroo masks? Consider the billion animals that have died in the infernal in Australia.
Then we see a hippie in a parked van with Pest Control on it. Does Meg Whitman hate hippies, especially the homeless kind who dirty her streets of San Francisco. We get a glimpse of what amuses the Hippie Pest. Some Jive-ass black man is rapping up a storm. Who wrote this crap – Thomas Pynchon?
I have the hippie watching another episode of Senior Sorcerer. Jack Outback got caught by Wanda Whoopee checking out her eighteen year old granddaughter’s ass as she was walking by.
“Did anyone tell ya you look just like Moonbeam McSwine? I got a remedy for mosquito bites, if you come up to my room. You should wear a repellant.”
Now, 500 pound Wanda is hot on Jack’s ass. She wielding a rolling pin.
“You didn’t think I could move so fast. I’m going to whoop on your possessed ass when I catch up with you!”
“Hardy, har, har! You go girl. Give that dirty old Wizard a taste of Jesus Justice!”
Wait a minute. That hippie kinda looks like me! Call the number on the van. He also looks like a young Wade.
Senior Sorcerer’s Apprentice
Idea for a QUIBI series.
Jack Outback sold tires on Main Street his entire life. His father owned Time To Retire Tires. When he reached 72……Jack retired! Thinking he would have fun for the rest of his life, meeting folks outside Tire World, to his shock he realized he was a bloody bore. No one wants to shoot-the-shit about flat tires – after their flat is fixed! No one!
Reading the Shopping News, Jack saw an ad for Sorcerer’s School, Jack checked it out – and was hooked! A whole new world opened up to Mr. Outback and his nosey downstairs neighbor, who had grown bored gossiping about your run of the mill, every day, generic old brown bag – senior dude! When Wanda Whoopee, caught Jack sneaking off to another Wizard meeting, she fell to her knees and thanked Jesus for her good fortune! In a month Jack was trying out his first spell on Ms. Whoopee – who he hated with a passion!
I want Hemsworth to play Old Man Jack. No need to make him all wrinkly. Outback should be a Stud-Muffin.
I want Billy Ray Cyrus to do the soundtrack.
Rap Song: Where’s Jack?
He’s out back
fixen a flat.
When’s he going to put my ride
up on the rack
I got me a hot-town tonight babe
with a up-lifting rack
who wants to shake her booty
all in my face
then hop in the sack
Yeah she do!
Can I risk her?
Can I frisk her?
She wants me
to lay a Fisk on her