The Royal Janitor
Chapter Five: ‘I Take This Woman’
Some of the brightest minds in the World Intelligence Industry swear they felt the floor of BAD headquarters, shake, when Miriam got off the elevator and headed for the BAD war room – in her bare feet! Miriam had large Nordic feet because her DNA material were infamous walkers! Her Viking kin hauled their long boats out of the Volga a dozen times as they headed to the Black and Caspian Sea, then, it’s on the Damascus! Starfish’s Aleut DNA walked across the Bearing Straits to the New World. Russian is a second language for this very durable and determined native people. Everyone in the war room froze when they heard Miriam’s question she bellowed out, as she….came!
“Who’s been talking behind my back?” (Fee-fi-fo-fum)
Everyone turned to face The Giant, but Victoria. She was frozen in place, her whole body tingling with an energy she had never known. It had been three days since they had lay eyes on each other. Now it was X-Mas Time. Victoria felt like a four year old.
“Don’t you think I can feel that, hear you? My ears have been ringing for days!”
Starfish walking up to a woman who knew martial arts, but she dare not take a defensive posture. She had heard how bad-ass Miriam is. Now she was the recipiant of the dead-fish-eye stare.
“Is it you? What do you have to say – to my face?”
The poor woman had to lower her head, because she read the message.
“Come. It’s time to hunt and kill a whale!” There was no conjecturing in Miriam’s look, that now took in the storyboard and the iconic portrait of a member of her tribe.
“I see you have summonded the spritit of my ancestor, Saint Peter, the Aleut Savior? Did you ask his permission?” Taking two steps, Starfish has locked on to a young handsom man, who could read the other covert question.
“Do you have designs on my woman? Are you lusting after her?”
Walking up to an older woman, Starfish put her face close to her face.
“You’re wondering if I have Romanov blood in my veins. You’ve been plotting how to get a sample of my saliva. Have you considered……..a kiss?”
The poor woman’s eyes were as wide as can be as she ran to the Lady’s room. There was some leakage.
The dozen or so souls who had formed a human shield around their boss, parted like the Red Sea as Starfish came towards her love object, who was trying to conceal her trembling, make it go away by taking deep breaths. Victoria jumped out of her skin when she felt Miriam’s hands fall upon her shoulders.
“Is it you who has been talking about me – behind my back? I could hear you hundreds of miles away.”
Victoria could not take it, and turned to face her accuser. She gasped. Miriam was wearing facial paint, perhaps, war-paint? She broke out in a joyful smile. Here she was, her beloved crazy woman, letting it all hang-out. For sure she had come from the Isle of Wight to ask only one person the question. Starfish was giving her the fish-eye that she received the day they met. She was sizing up her new boss. This is when Victoria fell in love. Her eyes twinkled with love and devotion. This is the most unique human being she will ever meet. For a second Starfish’s eyes twinkled back, then, she bent down and hoisted Victoria over her shoulder!
“I take this woman. She is mine from this day on! Does anyone object?”
“I object!” said the elderly woman who had come back from the bathroom. “This is unheard of. That woman has rights! All women have rights! This is an outrage!”
Three giant steps, and Miriam was in her face, again, as was Victoria’s bum. She was as lifeless as a seal pelt.
“So you do want to fight me. The emptying of ones bowels and bladder is a good thing before we battle. Being a Breatharian, I have not eaten or drank water for three days. I am good to go. Do you prefer the horn of the Narwhale, or, a Whalebone?
To be continued.