Thank God I was able to read what my daughter posted on her facebook! Wow! A window has opened to the real possibility we will have each other in our lives again – including Tyler! As an EXTRA added bonus, it looks like I am going to be a grandfather, again! Hurray! I got my Heirs back! I have a family, again!

My daughter said she just read my post on her group. I posted it three months ago, and got no response. I had given up. Giving up – is real painful!

Why am I so optimistic? Well, my daughter found out what is wrong with me, and thus if I, or we, get it fixed, we will live happily ever after! Yaay! She hit me with a PPD test. Does she want me to take it, and get back to her? Alright! I am not saying I concur – completely! Diagnosis is huge in healing. I think we are in the hospital – and out of the waiting room?

https://www.psycom.net/paranoid-personality-disorder/

What do my readers think? Do you think this applicable to me? Heather asked for feedback from her FBF, and got it. This is a good sign, because without DIALOGUE there can be no healing! Right?

“Tell me where you hurt?”

“I hurt right – here – Doc!”

I am happy for any dialogue – with my child. The silent treatment – drives me crazy! Real crazy. Maybe I will make my own test.

“When your daughter does not pick up for a week, you feel like?

1.  Look for an excuse to practice Road Rage?
2.  Cheat old ladies out of their life’s savings?
3.  Let wild animals out of their cages at the zoo?
4.  All of the above?

So, is it best I just walk away, and not respond to Heather’s remarks, and, just pretend we have a relationship – such as it is. I could go back to my writing feeling a little less isolated, and, suspicious, like most writers do – especially if you are a mystery writer, or, like your late and famous sister, you wrote a accusatory autobiography, that was disappeared, and replaced by a hired ghost writer, a man who never knew Christine Rosamond Benton, and her family. This guy paints my beloved sister with the most negative brush possible.

Wow! That was a long – accusation in one sentence – almost! Wait a minute! There’s more…….

Not being a professionally trained psychologist, he depicts this world famous artist as a violent and mistrustful alcoholic with episodes of mental illness that were a threat to all around her. Christine died on her first sober birthday! Thank God she died sober. The recovery rate is low. Many of us go out again – and die. There were a hundred reasons to take my next drink – since Heather came into my life. I didn’t expect that.

I asked my sister Vicki for the names of people who lived in the house they were invited to. She knew their names – and refused to give them to me! This is my sister. If your child died at someone’s home, wouldn’t you want to talk to the owners? This is when the case was being made I am too insane, or, not sociable enough to “get along with” Christine’s friends. In Snyder’s book, it is written my family looted the house of a famous artist – after the funeral! How is my family supposed to heal when outsiders are making all the rules, and in control of everything. Sure it was easy for them. Here is the ex-owner of the famous house your aunt died at. He is a billionaire who set up a art dynasty around his mother, who taught art. He has all the money YOU have all the history and family tree! What we are doing right now, is what the world wants. You can apply for a grant. Find a grant writer and set real goals. I will help.

https://rosamondpress.com/2017/08/28/alan-fox-knew-the-danger/

There! Take that! And this! Here is a sample of how crazy my family, and our friends – were! Most of us are gone. Marilyn drove me to see Heather for the first time. Three weeks ago she tells me she met Charlie Manson and his family at the Sphan Ranch. Who do you think was going to get the proceeds from my book and movie? My offspring! They fought me – all the way! And, I am supportive of Heather’s business?

https://rosamondpress.com/2019/09/08/the-rowdy-girls-ride-again/

The fight Patrice Hanson picked with me, was the suggestion I contribute to Snyder’s book, then, finish mine – after he published his. I told her they are going after the movie, after they get the copyrights sewn up. Snyder sent me a NDA. If I had signed it, I would not be able to publish ANYTHING about my family. I told Patrice that my book was a Self-help book aimed at people who suffer from the abuse and diseases WE children, suffered. Heather has a company that offers a healing. For Heather and her mother to keep saying, my healing did not take, and, my sobriety is worthless – will not do!

There is much evidence Patrice is a Stage Mother, and thus wants to be in control of all information regarding HER daughter, thus, the two book idea, my book, and her and the outsider’s book – just incase I hold a grudge for her not telling me I was a father.

In my opinion it was all about your mother’s comfort level. She really got along with Stacey and her ghost writer. Let’s get the happy good-vibe people together, and weed out the negative ones. The problem is, none of the Positive People were artists, poets, writers, or close to all family members. Of course they did not want the surviving artist in recovery to finish his book. then, he gets a monetary award! Why should I? Your mother never knew Christine.

There are not that many world famous WOMEN artists in history. Rosamond’ fans hated Snyder’s book – that destroyed the estate! The fans wanted to hear about the children. They would have loved to have heard from you. I offered to teach you Rosamond’s style. But, you can’t go around me and exclude me! Why would you want to? I am not going to live forever! Think – Art Legacy! This blog is up for sale for $3,000,000 dollars! There is no guarantee!

Heather, don’t you understand there are real parasites out there waiting for me to say nice, and loving things about our family – especially Christine? You will find very few antipodes about the miraculous relationship I had with my siblings. I have been saving them for my book that has been held up, because they took my happy ending away from me. That’s what I believe! Did you know my cousin, Elizabeth Rosemond Taylor encouraged Michael Jackson to be an artist? What does the Inquirer have to say? Do the owners want to heal people who are sick?

https://rosamondpress.com/2013/11/28/michael-jackson-a-closeted-artist/

This is not a PPD issue, or about Heather becoming a Star. It is about me saving my life. I have been in many groups and have seen several therapist. I know MUCH about healing. People have thanked me for saving their lives. Not once did Patrice or Heather call me and ask me how my radiation treatment was going. Not once! I always suspect someone is writing a book – for money! There are five books in this blog – that I have not seen a cent for.

https://www.amazon.com/Self-Help-Health-Mind-Body-Books/b?ie=UTF8&node=4736

You are related to Aileen Getty, and all the Getty family who were not happy with the outsiders who made that movie and series about Paul. With Liz’s help they established one of the greatest Healing organizations in the world. The Taylor, Rosamond, Getty families have been devastated with substance abuse and mental illness. They are close with Gavin Newsom and the Pelosi’s. You can write your own ticket, because we are part of the problem – and the solution. These are artistic legacies – that have to go somewhere!

https://rosamondpress.com/2019/05/10/the-getty-rosemond-bond/

I began my Sober Biography two years before Christine, died, when I had five years of sobriety. I am thirty-two years sober, today, thanks to my Brother and Sisters in AA, whom I shared our deep stories with. Letting others know who you are, is, getting to know who you are for the first time. Indeed, the PPD symptoms can be applied to an alcoholic. Here is the second step;

“Came to believe a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

When Heather came into my life when she was sixteen, I thought she was my reward for being sober. Why wouldn’t I think that? She was also THE HAPPY ENDING of our story, which looked like a Miracle. What went wrong? In her post, she says;

“I didn’t know what I needed to be forgiven about!”

How about – these two guys? (drinker dudes) Do they look like they are contributing to OUR happy sober ending? I found these on Heather’s other facebook – eight years ago. Both of my parents were raging, violent, and incestuous drunks. The torture their four child suffered is written in two books, and a movie script, written by outsiders who want to make gobs of money. None of them were victimized by my parents, that Heather never met – thank God. So, they get to express themselves – all the way to the bank!

Heather, I want you and your mother to sign a NDA. How do I know you are not writing a bio – that begins by making me out to be a Destructive Mad Man? Then your story goes on to list all the good things you got from your mother – on the day you were born. Your mother knows she is going to win, and it’s no contest. To pretend it’s a fair race, that is mine to lose, is passive aggressive.

There is such a thing as Fair Fighting. Below are simple rules. Heather and I have not seen each other in eight years because big drinker, Bill Cornwell, and I got in a fight, when he told me;

“You are about to lose your daughter and grandson.”

“Why?”

“Because you keep bugging Heather.”

“She’s my Trustee!”

“And, you got tired in the cave and at the canyon.”

And?

“You’re a parasite on society!”

Does this sound rational to you? Heather told me he refuses to see his obese mother who is confined to a wheelchair. This is the way Bill introduced me to his angst, his dysfunctional family. His father is a gung-ho Tea Party Patriot. Mom is also a parasite on society. Get it? I swear he wanted to throw me into the Grand Canyon – along with other parasites! Did I tell you I’m writing a autobiography? Bad things – are said! Yes in-deedy. Go to your library and feel the negative energy flowing off the shelves. I am also a newspaperman!

O.K. That’s enough! I accept the truth that Bill’s pain is valid. All you got to do, Heather, is take this blog to your therapist – if you have one! Establish if there was a valid reason to fight. You also should look at what makes a writer tick. Many writers suffer from mental illness. It may be a driving factor. I tried to explain this when your were sixteen. When I got into Serenity Lane, I was forty. I was convinced I would never have a child.

A sixteen years old alien born on another planet was the star of my un-finished book ‘Elfine’. This is you. A part of me knew I was a father. Eline is half-human, and half Feline, thus her name. I used a Cheetah as a model. This was done in 1986. You were two years old.  Consider ‘Avatar’. Elfine’s father was a retired Russian spy, named Ivan. Years later I learned Ivan is John. Like many writers, your characters become your children.

When we first saw each other, it was life you were from another world. You and your mother, were so human. You baked together. Set the table, together.

“Come Daddy, and join us!”

“And do – what?”

“Let me show you how to fold the dinner napkins!”

“I haven’t ate at a dinner table since my mother stabbed my father between the eyes with a knife. She bought T.V. trays the next day. He brutalized us as we ate. He took us hostage at dinner time. We owed him.”

“Oh! That sound’s negative as can be! Help me take roast out of the oven!”

 

WE had a miracle today. Your unborn child appeared in my novel ‘For Our Eye’s Only’. This morning I discovered that our relative, Christopher Lee is related to Ian Fleming, as is Elizabeth Rosemond Taylor. Fleming wrote the James Bond books. I reworked my book, and revealed the ancestry of Victoria Bond, who gets a name-change. She is shown a photo of her grandmother, then, spots the baby in her arms – that was overlooked. If you have a girl, my preference for her name is……Victoria Lee Dew! How about Vicky-Lee? I know you. I know you want a Country Child. We are kin to Robert E. Lee.

I have to laugh at these qualities, which may prove you only read a few of my posts. I express deep feelings in this blog. I have been attacked for exhibiting my feelings. I have never stopped – feeling! All I ever wanted was to express my love for you and Tyler. Perhaps we can work through a mediator to arrive at the best and healthiest way we can do this. I would settle for Make-Believe. But, you say YOU can do better than that. I agree!

Love

Your Dad

P.S. I just removed the drinking photos from this post, and will do so in my entire blog. I have not seen a drink in your hand, which fills me with hope.

To see your pic of your baby bump, is all new to me. I did not see you grow inside your mother. Nor did I put my ear near, to listen. No! You came upon me – all of a sudden, in a phone call. Through the lines – you were born. You are blessed to have Bobby Dew so near you, and his child. My blessing!

After talking to your mother, and hearing your voice for the first time, was the happiest day of my life. When we said goodbye, I went and put this song on. I was saying hello, and goodbye, to the man I would never be again. I mourned for him – with joy! He was just here! I will never be that alone, again. All of a sudden….he is gone! And, there you are!

https://rosamondpress.com/2019/10/01/the-rose-line-of-victoria-bond/

When I am alone I sit and dream
And when I dream the words are missing
Yes I know that in a room so full of light
That all the light is missing
But I don’t see you with me, with me
Close up the windows, bring the sun to my room
Through the door you’ve opened
Close inside of me the light you see
That you met in the darkness
Time to say goodbye
Horizons are never far
Would I have to find them alone
Without true light of my own with you
I will go on ships over seas
That I now know
No, they don’t exist anymore
It’s time to say goodbye
When you were so far away
I sit alone and dream of the horizon
Then I know that you are here with me, with me
Building bridges over land and sea
Shine a blinding light for you and me
To see, for us to be
Time to say goodbye
Horizons are never far
Would I have to find them alone
Without true light of my own with you
I will go on ships over seas
That I now know
No, they don’t exist anymore
It’s time to say goodbye
So with you I will go
On ships over seas
That I now know
No, they don’t exist anymore
It’s time to say goodbye
So with you I will go…
I love you

This woman is in our family tree. All’s well, that ends well!

John Presco

https://rosamondpress.com/2011/10/28/bonds-with-angels-in-oakland/

” I am very angry at you right now!”

“Why?”

“Because you introduced me to Evil in the World. I did not know it existed. ”

“I have one thing to show you.” Rougemont reached into his wallet and produced a small photograph. This is your grandmother. There exists no photos of your mother, lest they fall into the hands of a coven of ancient Russian Witches. What I need to know, is, who did Miriam have contact with at the University of Oregon Library?”

“Is that my mother!” Victoria shouted!

“What are you talking about?”

“There! Right here!”

“I swear, I have looked at the image a hundred times. I only had eyes for this beautiful woman! Oh my God!”

“MIRIAM! Is she safe?”

“Yes. We have put our best men at Osborn House. We bought a present for our Russian Princess. Would you like to ride with Miriam’s horse.”

You don’t have to have a mental disorder to be a great author, but those lightning leaps of imagination and hours spent constructing fascinating stories, multi-layered in meaning and unique in style, can sometimes be linked to mental illness.

Many of the 20th century’s great writers, including Virginia Woolf, Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald and his wife Zelda Fitzgerald, and William Styron, suffered from mental illness. During May, which is Mental Health Month, take a moment to examine the difficult lives of these writers.

 

Dear Daughter, I am so overjoyed you have expressed the way you feel, and THINK! Thinking is a way of feeling. Being raised by your mother, only, feelings are more trusted, and are a way many women prefer to relate. I congratulated you for obtaining knowledge. You want to own knowledge. You want to own a business, and prosper. I want to contribute to your prosperity – and give my blessings to your relationship with Bobby, and your child. I read your message today – after I revised my book. I made a miraculous discovery. Your unborn child appeared in my new chapter I wrote this morning. Writing is very hard work. Writers spend most of their time in – their world. I spent hours in replying to you. Yes there are some craggy rocks with raging sea. I had to sail my ship, our ship, through some of the tempest to get at how I really feel about you. I try to stay focused on the real hard issues that have come between us. My aim is – to clear the deck. I always wanted you to be my muse – and inspire me

As you can see, things are really rounding out around here

When I first started my journey to improve my well-being, getting pregnant was one of my main motives.

It took loosing 45lbs, two years of trying and one miscarriage. Now it looks like this one is sticking with me. Yay!

I know that this is all Devine right timing and I am over the moon excited about this new life but…….why am I sleepless tonight and feeling so heart broken?

This is actually a feeling that I have had for a few months now but I have not felt like it was safe to share. I have tried sharing a couple of times but fear would stop me and I would delete the post.

I know there is healing to be done here and I am uncertain about posting even still but this is where my heart is and holding it in has kept me from posting at all.

Sharing my authentic truth has been extremely healing for me and others but this truth I am about to share has been the most difficult thus far.

You see, my father, whom I have been estranged from for 8 years, recently discovered my FB page and reached out to me.

He said he said he was proud of the healing work I was doing and sympathized about my miscarriage.

My dad is a daily blogger and he shared with me a blog he had wrote about forgiving me. I did not know that I needed to be forgiven but I was touched by his kind words and excited to see this gentle side of him.

I wanted to respond right away and rekindle our relationship. This is something that I had prayed for and I felt like I could possibly have my Dad back. But something inside me told me to give it a few days and so I did.

A few days later I opened my Dads blog site to see if he had made any more efforts and I was disappointed to say the least.

It is very abnormal for my Dad to say positive things about family in his blog and when I checked to see where he was at on his forgiveness journey, I saw that he had taken it all back. He was right back to being suspicious about my motives and acussing me and my mom of doing terrible things.

Now, as I post this I have made every effort to block him but I somehow think he will still find it and that is ok with me.

I have a lot of love and compassion for my dad even though he has made me, my mom, and anyone who is close to me out to be a monster I still have so much love and compassion for him.

You see, I am pretty sure my Dad suffers from a very rare mental illness call Paranoid Personality Disorder. In looking for a better understanding, I discovered this disorder and it fits my dad to a T.

*Doubt the commitment, loyalty, or trustworthiness of others, believing others are exploiting or deceiving them.

*Are reluctant to confide in others or reveal personal information because they are afraid the information will be used against them.

*Are unforgiving and hold grudges.
Are hypersensitive and take criticism poorly.

*Read hidden meanings in the innocent remarks or casual looks of others.

*Perceive attacks on their character that are not apparent to others; they generally react with anger and are quick to retaliate.

*Have persistent suspicions, without reason, that their spouses or lovers are being unfaithful.

*Are generally cold and distant in their relationships with others, and might become controlling and jealous to avoid being betrayed.

*Cannot see their role in problems or conflicts, believing they are always right.

*Have difficulty relaxing.

*Are hostile, stubborn, and argumentative.

*Tend to develop negative stereotypes of others, especially those from different cultural groups.

This illness is very hard to treat because the paranoid person does not even trust the doctors.

So here I am, feeling heartbroken after many years of thinking I had this under control but I am grateful for these feelings. I see that there is healing for myself to do here and this sharing is my first step.

Leave me a heart if you have ever felt heartbroken over a family member with a mental illness?

Fair Fighting Rules