For a whole year I was in a creative quandary about choosing a woman to play the next spy with a license to kill. I got thrown off a James Bond fan site when I put forth my idea. This was a blatant censorship. In talking to my young waitress about Meg Whitman and Quibi, I saw Victoria Bond in her, and her heroic companion, Miriam Starfish. I believe they would make a great serial, because I did not like getting stuck in a two hour movie limit. My grandfather, Royal Rosamond, was friends with writers of the Black Mask. Each chapter is a mini-adventure, a fireside tale. I enjoy writing – immensely! I do not write to make money. I go into trances, and copy down the movie I got going in my head.
Yulia Rose is my model for Miriam. To render this beautiful Russian, into a mentally ill killer, was one of the most moving writing experiences of my life. I fight back tears now, knowing the end of our movie I wrote seven months ago. Victoria Bond, faints at the sight of just a drop of blood. She would not kill a flea. Miriam, has no problem. Alas, a Bond woman who is extremely deep. Many foreign women dream of being in America.
Yulia is classic cheesecake, but, does not know it. The real plus of Quibi, is you can make B Movies again – full of cheesecake! There will be no threat of activists picketing the movie theater like they did when ‘The Last Temptation of Jesus’ played. My generation, that is lining up to go down The Death Chute, came alive when we saw Janes Mansfield, who was a member of Menza. You can get free porn on the internet, but, I think we would pay for cheesecake. Bond movies exploited the male need for cheesecake.
In my critical opinion, these models may be the pioneers of Quibi. They are hunting for another runway show, and, a movie deal. Many famous actresses started out as models.
What I love about Yulia, is, she talks with her breasts. It is her second language. Women blow my mind! I don’t want to watch another man chase another man around in order to kill him. Miriam was raised by Christian survivalists in the wilderness and suffers from disassociation. There is a dark side to her. Do not cross her! Excuse the pun!
The Royal Janitor
Serena watched Miriam walk towards her for their meeting. As far as she could tell, all her bodyguard wore was some kind of loin clothe – with sandals! Her long auburn hair covered her breasts.
“Please! Be seated. And stop staring down at me as if you are going to put me in a big pot and cook me! You’ve been given a nickname, you know……..Tarzarena! Some whisper this after you pass; “There goes Lady Greystoke” Have you seen a Tarzan movie?”
“No. I’ve only seen two movies, Ben Hur, and, PI.”
“Only two? PI? What is that about?”
“It’s about a Kabbalist mathematical genius who finds another dimension. My parents put it on our video machine every Saturday after firing up the generator. We watched Ben Hur every Easter. I can recite PI backwards. Want to hear?”
“No. Not right now. I am still in a daze. I think I spotted another Leprechaun at the frozen yogurt shop. Are they really National Treasures?”
“Yes! You can go to jail for ten years if you molest one.”
“Are there female Leprechauns?”
“Do you mind if I ask why you don’t wear a bra, or, a top of some kind? What is odd, you have never exposed a breast, or two. What is your secret?”
“You won’t freak out if I show you?”
“No! Lay it on me!”
Miriam leans forward in her chair, and tries to pull her hair away from her breast.
“Oh my God – What? What am I seeing! Holy fuck!”
“Isn’t that cool. My hair has a mind of its own and wraps around my breast to hold it firm. All women can do this if they grow their hair, and don’t wear a bra. My tits don’t sag a bit. Too bad you didn’t have the parents I had. We went back to Eden – almost. I own two dozen loincloths, because Jesus wore two styles. They are hung on hangers in my closet. I don’t have a panty and sock drawer. Which one do you like the best?”
“I’ve seen enough! No more. Don’t forget you have an appointment to see The Wizard tomorrow.”