The Spy Who Dumped Me

I saw The Spy Who Dumped Me’ yesterday, and enjoyed most of it, However 3/4 in, the film went dead. We are looking at a boat on a dock with dead man about to lose his thumb. I suspect there was a major edit here. The writing team may have gone berserk.

I enjoyed how Morgon and her parents were kept in character, they playing their view of reality – as it lay! This was genius because a super female agent looks bloated and stupid. At the end this is demonstrated when the wear sequin dresses.

I demonstrate genius when I introduced Miriam Starfish Christling who comes from a different reality, that overlays the unfaltering Christian view of reality. Morgon’s parents could be Christians, but, I see San Fernando Valley Agnostic Pagans, like the Blakes. Morgon is a Valley Girl – to the core. She was sent to Trapeze School in North Hollywood. She is “too much”.  Miriam is “too much”, as is Nadedja – who is over the top! It was love at first sight! Who has been peeking at this blog?

This movie is the competition, and may acquire a cult following. Perhaps the producer and writers would tackle ‘The Royal Janitor’ and produce a artistic masterpiece – with humor and irony.  I think they would like Starfish having Natural Christian Hair that holds her breasts up, doing away with the need for a bra. Bra’s lead to Big Government. Yulia Rose can be a Comedic Star!

I loved the dinner scene with Bernie – and his wine. I would have liked to see Audrey Stockton PHONE HOME and try to get a reality check from her parents, and some help, who are Super Hippies turned Super Yuppies, turned Super California Real Estate Moguls who own a winery, who can’t talk right now because they have the elusive Thomas Pynchon over for dinner and a networking Ho-down. This is total abandonment. There will be a shot of Tom holding court in the middle of throw-pillows – with giant hookah. This would have been a great opportunity to Kill-off Pynchon for allowing that terrible movie to be made, and, install me in his place – because I am the real James Bond!

Tom can be reborn as a black hipster – the master of Jive Speak – who teaches seminars to senior hippies rolling in doe.

I do owe thanks to my daughter, Belle Burch, and Alley Valkyrie for giving me a good view of the next generation and why they do what they do. My generation – did it all – not leaving them with much – left to do. So, they invented a Realty Strainer that converts our leftover dirt, to their New Age Gold – that is not gold, but, is worth more than gold. I am trying to learn the secret of it, and the reality strainer that is like google, and is making the President go ga-ga, he claiming today that google is rigged!

Nadedja is a combination of Belle and Alley. Belle does some kind of gymnastics. In my book, if she sticks her tongue out at you, you are a dead man! But, first a pic of your penis is posted on the internet. I love the old box, babe, and chain, look. I got one of those.

John Presco 007

I Infiltrated SLEEPS


For a year and half, I knew if I went downtown to a City Council meeting, I would run smack-dab into my nemesis, Alley Valkryrie. I am a prophet. She was the first person I see as I came to overlook Wayne Morris Plaza. Holy crap, I’m right on top of her! She is eight feet away. What are the odds!

“Alley is a Feri initiate and Witch who runs a small local gift and clothing business in town called Practical Rabbit, and has become a central activist regarding how the homeless are treated in Eugene, Oregon.”

Kathryn McKinnon Berthold[1][2][3] (born January 6, 1984) is an American actress and comedian. She is widely known as a regular cast member on The Big Gay Sketch Show (2007–2010) and Saturday Night Live (2012–present).[4] She is also known for her film roles as Dr. Jillian Holtzmann in the supernatural comedy Ghostbusters (2016), Mary Winetoss in the comedy Office Christmas Party (2016), Pippa in the comedy Rough Night (2017), and Morgan in the action comedy The Spy Who Dumped Me (2018).

McKinnon is known for her character work[5] and celebrity impressions[6] of pop singer Justin Bieber, comedian television host Ellen DeGeneres, and political figures Hillary Clinton,[7] Kellyanne Conway,[8][9] Elizabeth Warren, Betsy DeVos, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Robert Mueller, Rudy Giuliani, and Jeff Sessions.[10] She has been nominated for six Primetime Emmy Awards; one for Outstanding Original Music and Lyrics and five for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series, winning in 2016 and 2017.

Ivanna Anatoliyivna Sakhno (Ukrainian: Іванна Анатоліївна Сахно; born 14 November 1997) is a Ukrainian and American actress, known for her role as Cadet Viktoriya in the science fiction monster film Pacific Rim Uprising (2018). She also played a hitlady role “Nadedja” in the 2018 action comedy film The Spy Who Dumped Me.

Sakhno was 15-years-old when she moved to the U.S. in 2013, settling in Hollywood to pursue an acting career. Sakhno had already achieved certain prominence in Ukraine after appearing in 2005 in the first ever Ukrainian-language sitcom, Lesia + Roma, and the 2013 biopic Ivan the Powerful

Sakhno was born in Kyiv, Ukraine, in a family of local film producers.[1]

Her dream of movies started when in 2004 she watched the film Amélie.[1]

Sakhno studied at Beverly Hills High School and later Lee Strasberg Theatre and Film Institute.[2] At the Lee Strasberg Institute, she worked with Ivana Chubbuck.[2] In 2012 Sakhno graduated the Janet Hirshenson casting shop.[2]

She first appeared in the 2005 TV series Lesya + Roma (Ukrainian adaptation of the successful Canadian sitcom Un gars, une fille) and her debut feature film role was in 2013 biopic film Ivan the Powerful. Her first major Hollywood role came in Thomas Dunn’s 2016 thriller film The Body Tree.[3] She followed with roles in two big budget 2018 releases, Pacific Rim Uprising[4][5] and The Spy Who Dumped Me.[6][7]

At the 2015 Cannes Film Festival Sakhno expressed her support for Ukrainian political prisoners held by the Russian Federation authorities.[2]

Miriam’s Wardrobe


The Royal Janitor

Serena watched Miriam walk towards her for their meeting. As far as she could tell, all her bodyguard wore was some kind of loin clothe – with sandals! Her long auburn hair covered her breasts.

“Please! Be seated. And stop staring down at me as if you are going to put me in a big pot and cook me! You’ve been given a nickname, you know……..Tarzarena! Some whisper this after you pass; “There goes Lady Greystoke” Have you seen a Tarzan movie?”

“No. I’ve only seen two movies, Ben Hur, and, PI.”

“Only two? PI? What is that about?”

“It’s about a Kabbalist mathematical genius who finds another dimension. My parents put it on our video machine every Saturday after firing up the generator. We watched Ben Hur every Easter. I can recite PI backwards. Want to hear?”

“No. Not right now. I am still in a daze. I think I spotted another Leprechaun at the frozen yogurt shop. Are they really National Treasures?”

“Yes! You can go to jail for ten years if you molest one.”

“Are there female Leprechauns?”


“Do you mind if I ask why you don’t wear a bra, or, a top of some kind? What is odd, you have never exposed a breast, or two. What is your secret?”

“You won’t freak out if I show you?”

“No! Lay it on me!”

Miriam leans forward in her chair, and tries to pull her hair away from her breast.

“Oh my God – What? What am I seeing! Holy fuck!”

“Isn’t that cool. My hair has a mind of its own and wraps around my breast to hold it firm. All women can do this if they grow their hair, and don’t wear a bra. My tits don’t sag a bit. Too bad you didn’t have the parents I had. We went back to Eden – almost. I own two dozen loincloths, because Jesus wore two styles. They are hung on hangers in my closet. I don’t have a panty and sock drawer. Which one do you like the best?”

“I’ve seen enough! No more. Don’t forget you have an appointment to see The Wizard tomorrow.”

Jon Presco

Copyright 2018

About Royal Rosamond Press

I am an artist, a writer, and a theologian.
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