The first person I fell in love with was Bill Arnold. He was thirteen, and I was twelve. He came behind me while I was working on my watercolor that was chosen to tour the world in a Red Cross show.
“That is a very fine painting!”
I turned, looked up, and beheld a beautiful blond boy with blue eyes the color of Robin eggs. He turns out to be the boy my friend told me about, who was very tall, who played football without his shirt off. There were angry welts on his back. He told my friend his father beats him.
“After school, would you like to come to my house and help me wash windows?”
While we were up on ladders on the side of the Arnold home, Bill is letting me know how odd his family life is. He was a army brat, who had lived in France and Japan. His father was very excentric, and, mad! What view of the world I might have owned, was forever diverted by his genius. Bill was six foot three, and had a I.Q. of a hundred and eighty. I had been the leader of my group of friends. We called ourselves the ‘Cheetahs’. Thank God I had enough brains to understand, that if if I did not get away from Bill, he would utterly dominate our friendship. I would be, his Second, his………Follower! I chose to remain.
“While living in camps, I made a point to choose the worst person I could to befriend, so that when we moved again, I would not miss him. Now that my father has retired, I think it is best I choose a quality friend.”
Bill’s brilliance had been utterly isolated in a place that has much disdain for someone who must think for himsef, because, it is impossible for them to follow orders. The welts on Bill’s back were a testimony to this truth, his father could not accept. We owned a famous friendship.
When we were sixteen, Bill instigated another one of our ‘Serious Talks’. We spoked pipes. We began our talks with priming our pipes.
“I have been entertaining the idea that we become lovers. We already love each other, and, it might be to our benefit to become sexual mates. This would be condusive to our survival. The world does not know how to deal with creative people. They will drag us down.”
Bill believed in books. He had been reading about homosexual relationships. He loved the word ‘Research’. He did much of this, when he did not have a friend in the world. Outside his window are a sea of soldiers being trained to fight the next war. We did not become lovers. The world drug us down. Twenty minutes past my eighteeth birthday, Bill drove on to railroad tracks in Ogden Utah, and turned off the headlights to the car my mother bought for him. He knew the train came just about midnight. He chose a curve so the engineer would not have time to stop. Bill was nineteen.
There is a crime here. Not a surface crime, or, a passing crime, or a crime you see everyday on T.V. This is a crucifixion, but, not a surface crucifixion, not a passing crucifixion, not an empty promise of redemption of being washed in the blood of the lamb. This crucifixion takes you to the depths of our development of a human soul, and, if you can’t go there, then go somewhere else. Go get what you think you want from the demons that pass out such empty promises, like candy! Only the brave, are welcome! Cowards need not apply. Bill believed he died a coward. His friend does not agree, because, that was not the end. It is – an ending.
Four days ago, I realized Bill was reborn in Myriam Starfish Christling. Hence, I have written the most beautiful words I have ever read. I marvel. Where do these thoughts come from? To – go on – without Bill, was the hardest thing I have every done, or, anyone has ever done, if they knew. Christine knew. After she did ‘Crossroads’ she called me and told me this is how she dealt with Bill’s death. He did consider he and my sister becoming lovers. Time for to tamp our pipes.
“What would you think if Christine and I became lovers?”
“I think it is a matter of what – you think!”
“I think, I would be wanting a female version of you.”
That said, Bill got up, and walked away. He walked back into my life, with these words;
“Excuse me. I couldn’t help but notice your features. Victoria raised her eyebrows when she gently took hold of his chin.
“Very symmetric. I can see your father’s profile. And, you have your mother’s high cheekbones. Did you know you are half your mother, and half your father, but, it is through your father you find God. Did you know that?…….I’m going to kiss you now!”
Victoria made a move to prevent this kiss, but, was repelled by a powerful energy field that she put around – them. Tilting his head back, Miriam delivered a soft and sensuous kiss, that froze them in time. His cellphone fell to the walkway, but, did not break. There was a beautiful sigh, that sounded like the opening of Morning Glories.
“You can go, now!” And Starfish watched him swim away. Turning, she stopped in her tracks when she saw Victoria was blushing. Their eyes were locked. She got it. Victoria dreamed of being kissed like that. Star approached, took her hand, and they walked the next hundred yards like this, they a rarity, as holding hands on campus went out of style twenty years ago.
“I was conceived a hundred yards from here. I feel it in my bones! I was made – with much love!”
Starfish is a female version of Bill. Victoria is a female version of me.
I am appalled to learn that Franklin Graham, Donald Trump, Vlademir Putin, and huundreds of self-appointed leaders and teachers of the teaching of Jesus Christ, have utterly betrayed Jesus, humanity, and the idea of Democracy – by persecuting people who love one another, and are of the same sex. I had a homosexual experience with an older man in 1986. I problably should have had other affairs, or, formed a lasting bond.
In the last four days I have shed many tears. I am very moved by the words I have put down, and the words that are waitng in the wing. I had a vague idea of what the plot is, and waited patiently for words from the Source! As a theologian, I have received lessons from God – directly.
Three months ago I decided to introduce one of my main characters as a Christian, which is a taboo if you want Hollywood to turn your story into a movie. I was now considering my Christian audience. Why am I taking such a risk? My book is already dead if I keep this up. In the last two days I knew I was going to champion the world-wide LGBT people. Just writing a simple James Bond book was out of the question. Elizabeth Taylor championed victims of AIDES, as did Aileen Getty, who are more directly related to Ian Fleming than I, and, if you google Bond and bi-sexual, there exist a suggestion. But, more than that, I love the creative challenge, and, the words Jesus spoke to me;
“Be not afraid. Spiritual courage, will be met with spiritual courage.
Yesterday, I looked at the story of ‘Adam’s Rib’ and had a profound revelation. As an artist I am transferring my visions to a movie screen. The Royal Janitor is going to be a – burst of light! This light will vanquish the evil men, and women, who in the darkest of darkness, elected Children of God to look down their noses at, and demonize them so they persecute them, and torture them, and beat them, and put welts on their backs, and take from them everything they can – so they can own Jesus’s approval? Are these people insane? No, they are monsters, like the monster Jesus described, that will come when he is gone to corrupt his teaching. I explore why this is. No one else is!
Our kindred took part in the Spanish Inquisition. A female Bond I concluded was more suited to champion Human Rights. Why is that? There is a great secular message intertwined in my tow Heroines. This is why I have two – with amazing twist!
I am going to give you a preview of my book and movie. I authored a soliloquy that is a continuation of Bill and our profoundly loving and creative friendship, that I have been bid to write about, but could not, because the pain is too great. Not just my pain, but the pain of those who loved Bill, and, never recovered from his passing. This music and image, allowed me to get over a hurdle that has blocked my way for fifty-four years. I consider this story to be a work of art, a collaboration from a place very few can go to.
“I am going to kiss you now. Victoria opened her mouth just enough to match the beautiful open mouth of Miriam. She placed her lips upon her lips, as one would put a rose upon a freshly dug grave.
She was – right here, right there. And now she is somewhere else. But, not for me. My chance, our chance, is gone -so completely. How utterly unbearable, my being. So alone, all alone. Without her. I am left on the living side of death. Here, I must make my way.
I walk alone along the road. But I will never be alone. For thou art with me my love, on that road that runs on the dark side of the moon. You will go with me, her Lord, when I am in most need of her to be by my side. For she is with you, now. She knows the way.
A soliloquy (from Latin solo “to oneself” + loquor “I talk”) is a device often used in drama when a character speaks to him- or herself, relating thoughts and feelings, thereby also sharing them with the audience, giving off the illusion of being a series of unspoken reflections. If other characters are present, they keep silent and/or are disregarded by the speaker. Though it should be said that sometimes, depending on the performance, a monologue that is written as a soliloquy, will be addressed directly to the audience. And sometimes it is hard to tell if what is being heard is a monologue, or a duologue or a soliloquy; in which case choosing the right term may be a matter of interpretation.
A leading LGBT advocacy group blasted Russian President Vladimir Putin and President Trump over what the group sees as ongoing crimes against LGBT people by projecting messages on the building where they will meet on Monday.
The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) displayed messages on the side of Finland’s Presidential Palace on Sunday, calling out Putin for the reported abuse and torture of LGBT people in the Russian republic of Chechnya and Trump for his silence on the issue.
“Trump and Putin: Stop the Crimes Against Humanity in Chechnya,” one message read.
“The whole world is watching,” another message displayed. “Silence is deadly.”
The HRC said in a statement that more than 100 LGBT people have been “rounded up, tortured and abused — and as many as 20 have been murdered.”
Protesters gathered outside of the palace in Helsinki.
“Trump has unconscionably turned a blind eye to some of the worst anti-LGBTQ atrocities in a generation, including monstrous attacks on gay and bisexual men in Chechnya,” Ty Cobb, director of HRC Global, told the crowd.
“HRC is here in Helsinki to demand Donald Trump end his deafening silence, publicly condemn these Chechen crimes against humanity, and call on Putin to investigate and bring the perpetrators to justice,” he added.
They were joined by representatives from the Russian LGBT Network, the largest collection of organizations fighting for LGBT human rights, and Seta, Finland’s national LGBT rights organization.