I took Michael on a tour along Oakland’s Estuary in my Cadillac. We started down on 5th. Street where we once attended a two day party thrown by the Diggers. There were artists down there. Michael took me into a studio of a guy who did pornographic Disney characters.

That’s me and my Caddy in front of Wanda’s Wonderland where we used to wonder about the meaning of life.

Last night I watched the movie ‘All Good Dogs Go to Heaven’. The illustrator depicted old warehouses and fishing shacks on the waterfront. Most of that is gone. That is what Michael and I went looking for in what he titled ‘Johnnie’s Oakland’.

In what may have been our last conversation, Michael mocked me, laughed, and belittled me. He said I never sat in on McClure’s class with my girlfriend, because;

“McClure never let’s anyone sit in on his class.”

“Unless he comes in the door with Amber, who no doubt has given McClure the best fuck of his life!”

Michael was accusing me of being grandiose, pretentious, overblown. He denied he ever worked for Bruce – who is larger then life! But, he was not too big for Wanda’s basement – because the price was right! He lived there for free while he drew up plans for One World University where low-life workers would go about in underground tunnels so they do not come in contact with the Giant Egg Heads. Bruce is hatching the real Eloi.

On New Years Eve I caught Amber with my good friend Paul Drake. We’ed been at the Hut drinking with our friends, and they were gone. I was living with Amber, the door was locked. I was never given a key. I went around the side, saw a candle in the window, and told Paul to come outside and get his ass-whoopen. They called the cops on me. Twenty Oakland Cops showed up ready for a fight. Later, a big storm blew down the big pine tree down it leaning against the wall outside that bedroom window. Paul would later play the baddest dude ever in a Clint Eastwood movie. Mick got to rape Susan Lockley under the wooden pier in Santa Cruz.

Michael then laughed at me when I said he promised me a Buick. I found the Buick I want on the web. The 1958 Buick Special would be perfect for conducting tours of Johnnie’s Oakland that will start in Jack London Square. Stops will be at Amber’s Window, Delpiano’s Digs, and Wanda’s Mystery Basement where the King of the World once lived, he now known all over the world after his movie came out.

Just $8,000 would get me in that Buick. I will get some young hipster dressed in a white rabbit suit to drive the Buzzmobile, he paid with hits from the blunts his passengers pass around. I mean, everyone’s got a right to make a buck! Screw Michael’s fake want of privacy. He just can’t stand the competition!

“On the left, ladies and gentelman, is Wanda’s Wonderful Mystery House where lives the original ‘Fool on the Hill’ that Baba Bruce tried to turn on, get him to lighten up, do a little Yoga, and build him a sweat lodge in the backyard.”

There’s that infamous ‘Leaner’ in the photo above that the hoods in the woods preyed would come down on its own so they would not wake the Pine Patrol.
Feel welcome to use this image as a hip Christmas card. Have a merry one!

Jon Presco

Copyright 2012