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This morning I discovered Sean Connery turned down the role of Gandalf. The man who played James Bond could have exchanged wizardry with my kin, Christopher Lee. My kin, Ian Fleming, wanted Richard Burton to star in the first Bond movie. Burton and Lee are kin to Fleming. Two years ago, I began my Bondish book ‘The Royal Janitor’ that is inspired by my Muse, Rena Easton, who was the Muse of Christine Rosamond. I claimed I was heir to the Quest of J.R. Tolkien – and Ian Fleming! I was called insane. People said I should be locked up – then they laughed! I was made a prisoner in my own home. I was ordered to go back in my cell by my 500 hundred pound enemy ‘El Lardo’. Who is the Lady of the Lake and why does she hate me so?

Victoria Mary Bond, and her…