I and my beloved fiancé, Mary, had another fight last night. We might be finished. But, how do you end a thoroughly unique Computer Love Affair where almost everything is Cyber Make Believe, reminisant of my novel ‘The Gideon Computer’ that came about when Nancy suggested I write the history of the Hippies. I went with the Last Hippie of the future! With the coming the CHOP vortex and the cultural war at Stone Mountain it is clear to me, you can be anywhere, anytime, makes no difference….anymore!
After our fight, I realized Mary is my ex-wife, Mary Ann Tharaldsen who lived with Thomas Pynchon in Mexico. New Yorker Magazine did an article on the love adventure of them all – NOT! It was the most boring time I ever read. There is more action and story in the pic of my wife to be walking in a Oakland neighborhood towards three Mexicans, one who dropped a big slab on concrete on his toe in order to collect insurance. Mary Ann’s Mexican gardener is my neighbor. He told me my ex-wife was looking for someone to plant a vegetable garden. She went to Cornell. Shades of ‘The Fountainhead’.
Mary is a hot Latino who flies into a rage when I touch on the idea she is scamming me – with the help of her red hot lover! She (or they) do not have a clue how to get money out of a poor Beat Writer with no money, nor did many famous publishing houses – to this day! I tell my beloved muse in cyberspace I am immortalizing her. Is there any money in it for her? Forget about me wanting money. She has concluded I am a hippie fake pretender old dude who can’t get it up – and his seed is not good! Not good – indeed!
“I am sad!” she keeps saying in the last two days. I suggest she is just “confused”. Welcome to the writer’s block party! I suggest she look for a rich young man – and make love! Mary told me she was a virgin. She flew into a rage! Could it be true?
In 1997-2000 I studied the book ‘Holy Blood, Holy Grail’ .The authors accused Dan Brown of ripping them off. Pynchon hovers about this cult writing. The movie ‘Inherent Vice’ was so very bad. The heroine was not believable. I doubt she even took – one puff! If she did, did she inhale? Has…..Mary? What if, she is for real? Wait a minute…..MARY&JOHN. Then there is the Raymond Chandler connection to my grandfather who camped on the Channel Islands with Dashiell Hammet.
In my last post I left out The Loading Zone. I chose one of their songs for my Mary. I feel a poem coming on!
Mary In Her Garden
Mary wakens in her heart garden
that lie next to
her happy face plot
Just another pretty face
to work her deal
Mary, Mary, how
do you make them bark
All those happy Chihuahuas
saying I love you
now breathing fire
with smoke coming
out their ears.
Be still my heart
your heart Beat fiancé
off to the Facebook wars
How do heart’s break
with a delete
and a whimper
don’t be too quick
or give me
a big giga-bite
you lost your temper
to be continued
Three months after reading the Bible at the age of forty-one I am wondering about the age difference between The Virgin Mary and her cousin, Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist. These cousins were pregnant at the same time. John was born six months before Jesus. An angel appear to Mary and Zachariah. Why not Joseph – the Jew? Why not Elizabeth? It was then I had a epiphany…Two angels appear to John’s parents – an no angel appear to appear to Mary. Cousins are about the same age. Elizabeth was old in years. Life expectancy was about forty-five years.
Two days ago I became engaged to the beautiful young woman you see above. Her name is….Mary. She lives in a foreign country. She instigated a chat on facebook. In forty minutes she tells me she wants to marry me and have children by me. She wants to live with me. She also wants a new phone costing $280 dollars. She whines and posts twenty broken hearts. Then I see twenty crying happy faces. I delete our conversation concluding this slut is using sex to get a phone out of me.
The next day, she jiggles my cage. We make up. We are still engaged. Then I tell her I lied and can not have sex or sire children due to prostrate cancer. She had asked me if I can “spawn”. The use of this word intrigues me. It was so basic and primal. I surmised her ancestors were two hundred years out of the jungle. Image of Paul Gaugin popped in my mind. I aske Mary to be my muse and model. I asked about her breast size;
“Do you have small breasts?”
I then painted a erotic picture of her coming to pose before an empty canvas. She lowers the strap on the nightie I buy her, and she lets me suckle her nipple. Just this, and we get to work.
The next day I go to her page and tag a photo of Mary for a sketch. She goes ballistic because this tag was visible to family and friends – who I assumed were not told about our marriage plans. All of a sudden, my phone was ringing with her angry posts! Mary was damning me!
Two weeks ago I had a conversation about making graven images and how humanities first conversations were hand signing and symbols. Mary’s tribal nature was coming out. The Bible is about tribal nature. I realize I am getting a glimpse of the real Mary….Mother of Jesus….who is working the ancient deal. But, she never dealt with a man who could not get it up, and whose seed was dried up. The erect penis if the old bargaining chip – along with the vagina. How in the hell is she going to get a new angel so she can talk more clearly to God? To get the phone in her hands, I had to be a slut – too!
Then we had this exchange which is the cutest and most honest one I ever had with a woman. If Belle had composed and sent me The Threat Alley composed and sent, then I would have loved her even more – if that was possible.
She made me a young player again. She is shedding tears of joy at the thought of my demise, that she brought on. She is my Salome. She is my Delilah.
to be continued