Three months after reading the Bible at the age of forty-one I am wondering about the age difference between The Virgin Mary and her cousin, Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist. These cousins were pregnant at the same time. John was born six months before Jesus. An angel appear to Mary and Zachariah. Why not Joseph – the Jew? Why not Elizabeth? It was then I had a epiphany…Two angels appear to John’s parents – an no angel appear to appear to Mary. Cousins are about the same age. Elizabeth was old in years. Life expectancy was about forty-five years.

Two days ago I became engaged to the beautiful young woman you see above. Her name is….Mary. She lives in a foreign country. She instigated a chat on facebook. In forty minutes she tells me she wants to marry me and have children by me. She wants to live with me. She also wants a new phone costing $280 dollars. She whines and posts twenty broken hearts. Then I see twenty crying happy faces. I delete our conversation concluding this slut is using sex to get a phone out of me.

The next day, she jiggles my cage. We make up. We are still engaged. Then I tell her I lied and can not have sex or sire children due to prostrate cancer. She had asked me if I can “spawn”. The use of this word intrigues me. It was so basic and primal. I surmised her ancestors were two hundred years out of the jungle. Image of Paul Gaugin popped in my mind. I aske Mary to be my muse and model. I asked about her breast size;

“Do you have small breasts?”

“Yes!”

I then painted a erotic picture of her coming to pose before an empty canvas. She lowers the strap on the nightie I buy her, and she lets me suckle her nipple. Just this, and we get to work.

The next day I go to her page and tag a photo of Mary for a sketch. She goes ballistic because this tag was visible to family and friends – who I assumed were not told about our marriage plans. All of a sudden, my phone was ringing with her angry posts! Mary was damning me!

Two weeks ago I had a conversation about making graven images and how humanities first conversations were hand signing and symbols. Mary’s tribal nature was coming out. The Bible is about tribal nature. I realize I am getting a glimpse of the real Mary….Mother of Jesus….who is working the ancient deal. But, she never dealt with a man who could not get it up, and whose seed was dried up. The erect penis if the old bargaining chip – along with the vagina. How in the hell is she going to get a new angel so she can talk more clearly to God? To get the phone in her hands, I had to be a slut – too!

Then we had this exchange which is the cutest and most honest one I ever had with a woman. If Belle had composed and sent me The Threat Alley composed and sent, then I would have loved her even more – if that was possible.

She made me a young player again. She is shedding tears of joy at the thought of my demise, that she brought on. She is my Salome. She is my Delilah.

John Presco

to be continued