Black Dog – The Surname Blowout

Black Dog

by

John Presco

Copyright 2019

While being taken on a tour by the good looking woman who just said goodbye to her husband – he off to Africa to meet with Oprah Winfrey – I wondered if she was going to ask me for sex when we entered the old barn next to the old winery. After all, I was the father of The Miracle Child.

When I avoided the huge hint this was all mine to control, as I looked at the session booths, this woman lost interest in me. Perhaps I was not the Miracle Worker Patrice had made me out to be. I had gotten Leah away from her best friend since kindergarten. I had read the Oprah letter, and had problems with this paragraph.

“When I found myself pregnant, I felt the father could have been
either John’s or my husband’s, but I had to convince the husband
that it was his baby or life would have been unbearable and the
chances of my baby’s survival would have been slim.”

“You know, Patrice, I think I would like to get Randall Delpiano’s surname off our daughter’s birth certificate. The guy was a REAL MONSTER!”

All of a sudden, Patrice is rolling her eyes and tilting her head towards our child – who is on the verge of tears! Daggers of oure hatred are coming out of her eyes!

“We are bound by the Whispering of the Willow Maidens! Tell him – mother!”

“This is true. When Heather turned one, and when Randy got out of San Quintin, we went and performed the Whispering Willow Ritual under an old willow tree in the Berkeley Hills. Heather took an oath to have no father but Randy. He is ‘The Anointed One’. If you change the name, Heather will die.”

“Oh. I see. Did you do this ritual with David’s father, the Black Panther who died in a fire, perhaps a shootout?”

“No! I am ignoring the racial undertones of your uncaring question! We slashed out palms and poured gunpower from a bullet in the pool of blood. It was so beautiful to see – real loyalty! You know what, my sister and I demand you take that bloodtest. We found one that only costs $450 dollars.”

“O.K. Calm down! If I get the blood test, to prove Heather is my child, then I want my name on her birth certificate!”

“WHAT! What kind of monster are you. If PRESCO goes on that certificate, then…………….The Three Willow Mistresses will make sure my daughter has at least THREE MISCARIAGES!”

“I hate you, Fake Daddy! You are the most negative man in the world!”

  • Are unforgiving and hold grudges
  • Read hidden meanings in the innocent remarks or casual looks of others

Bonus aspect:

*Tend to develop negative stereotypes of others, especially those from different cultural groups.

I believe one of the witches on Heather’s woman empowerment identified me as the Dark Energy that caused Patrice’s daughter to have a miscarriage. There exist no proof Heather is my daughter. I sever all this Dark Energy that has been sent my way since 2000. My plan now – is to Exploit it – so I can live happily ever after in a land where they burn witches – on sight!

Will Black Dog ever be free of the spell the Willow Whisperers captured him with? Or, will there come a champion, who will take pity on him?”

BLACK DOG!………..coming to a theatre near you! Just in time for Halloween!

John Presco

About Royal Rosamond Press

I am an artist, a writer, and a theologian.
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