Lara Roozemond – Dutch Katherine Hepburn

This is a critique and Make-over of the actor and model, Lara Roozemond. I am considering founding a Creative Critique and Image Company. I will turn you into a Work of Art.

I see Lara as Holland’s Katherine Hepburn. She exudes class because she was born with it. So does Roozemond who I want to play Claudine Victoria Rosamond Bond who is going to be modeled after Katherine.

Lara and Katherine have these amazing cheekbones – that do all the acting! Celtic folks bow down to this genetic asset. They recognize a superior. The same goes for men who have a cleft in their chin – which Lara has as well! Consider her the movie-child of Hepburn and Tracy. There should be a classy argument going on at all times.

Hepburn and Roozemond have the same body type. Lara should be aware of her superior posture at all times. Her head should be tilted down with no movement. She should be sizing up the competition with no hand movements. Her high cheekbones are weapons. They do all the talking.

What words come out of Lara’s mouth are not important. The fire that comes out of her eyes, is what matters. I don’t want to see any acting except in showing her irritation that she is being kept away from what she loves. Lara should take up golfing, fencing, tennis, sailing, dressing a horse, or, pretend she has. Only when she has trained you, will she trust you, to see the inner her, which is playful. There is a Paris clown inside of her, and a cutting whit that her enemies fear.

This image has to go! What is her agency thinking? If they can’t hire a photographer to do a great black and white study – quit that agency!

Her head looks too big. Her posture is a zig-zag. Her head is not foreword. She looks off balance. Lara hates to be caught off balance. Here is a line from Lara’s poem. She and Katherine can be a real………witch! They own trophies for being a witch – and a winner!

Male-world will hardly notice that James Bond is now a woman as they watch her beat-off two Korean She-dragons in a fierce golf tournament. Her golf bag is made of  black leather.

I just discovered I am kin to Katherine via Thomas Pynchon. Audrey Hepburn’s mother was Dutch nobility. She played Gigi who is based on Colette.

John Presco

Copyright 2018

Look, I think you’re sweet
am only very selective
So leave me alone
maybe I want you to kiss me
I think you are pretty
what a cunt
No idea what I feel
do not always look so sultry
I do not want to see you anymore
Pick me up tomorrow at half past nine.

Audrey Hepburn was born Audrey Kathleen Ruston or Edda Kathleen Hepburn-Ruston[1] on 4 May 1929 at number 48 Rue Keyenveld in Ixelles, Brussels, Belgium.[2] Her father, Joseph Victor Anthony Ruston (21 November 1889 – 16 October 1980), was a British subject born in Auschitz, Bohemia, Austria-Hungary.[3][a] He was the son of Victor John George Ruston, of British and Austrian descent[4] and Anna Wels, of Austrian descent.[5] In 1923–24, Joseph had been an honorary British consul in Semarang in the Dutch East Indies[6] and prior to his marriage to Hepburn’s mother he had been married to Cornelia Bisschop, a Dutch heiress.[3][7] Although born with the surname Ruston, he later double-barrelled his name to the more “aristocratic” Hepburn-Ruston, mistakenly believing himself descended from James Hepburn, third husband of Mary, Queen of Scots.[4][7]

Hepburn’s mother, Baroness Ella van Heemstra (12 June 1900 – 26 August 1984), was a Dutch noblewoman. She was the daughter of Baron Aarnoud van Heemstra, who served as mayor of Arnhem from 1910 to 1920 and as Governor of Dutch Suriname from 1921 to 1928, and Baroness Elbrig Willemine Henriette van Asbeck (1873–1939).[8] At the age of nineteen, Ella had married Jonkheer Hendrik Gustaaf Adolf Quarles van Ufford, an oil executive based in Batavia, Dutch East Indies, where they subsequently lived.[9] They had two sons, Jonkheer Arnoud Robert Alexander Quarles van Ufford (1920–1979) and Jonkheer Ian Edgar Bruce Quarles van Ufford (1924–2010), before divorcing in 1925.[7][10]

Baron Van Heemstra was born in Vreeland, the son of Wilhelmina Cornelia (née de Beaufort)(1843-1927) and baron Willem Hendrik Johan van Heemstra (1841-1909), the mayor of Loenen. He also had an older brother, baron Hendrik Philip Jacob van Heemstra (1867-1931). He studied at Utrecht University where he obtained his doctorate in law in 1896. He established himself in Arnhem where he was prosecuting lawyer and subsequently deputy judge at the district court. In 1902 he was appointed official at the district court in Roermond and in October 1909 deputy public prosecutor at the arrondissement court of Maastricht. In 1910 he became mayor of the city of Arnhem, following Antonie Röell and preceding Dirk Jan de Geer. In 1920 Wilhelmina of the Netherlands appointed him governor of Suriname, from which he retired in 1928. Living in the Arnhem region, he redacted a political economic magazine until 1940.

Refusing to collaborate with the NSB during World War II, the German occupiers confiscated many of his possessions, including estates, bank accounts, and even jewelry. He was forced to move out of the estate Kasteel Zijpendaal (nl) outside Arnhem to Oosterbeek and later Velp. In 1942, his son-in-law Otto graaf van Limburg Stirum was executed in retaliation for a sabotage by the resistance movement. After this, his widowed daughter Miesje (1897-1987) and his divorced daughter Ella (1900-1984) lived with him in Velp, along with Ella’s youngest child, the future actress Audrey Hepburn (1929-1993).

The Austrian Irritant

This is the poem that sold me on Lara as an actress and character.  It’s called ‘Date’. Lara Roozemond does such a good job of telling her side of the date, it made me wonder about the other half. The Austrian equestrian champion later appeared. They will go on several dates all through the movie. Rather than see James Bond being suave while he lures yet another Beauty into his bed, all Victoria’s dates – with him – end badly.

The Royal Janitor

Victoria’s Austrian Prince, as she now called him, after he danced around his family tree,  trying not to drop names (but he failed miserably) …… took his date to a very fancy French restaurant in London. Once seated, Lara was surprised he did not take off his hat.

“It’s not required of men of my station. Haven’t you seen other men of my ilk wearing – their hats?”

“No. I don’t recall that I have!”

“Exactly. That’s because we are not that plentiful, and, you have not been to the best restaurants. Aren’t you going to pick up your menu? Would you like me to order – for you?”

“Do you have a pen? I want to jot down this poem – while its fresh in my mind.”

“Of course I do. But, be gentle with it. The nub is made of pure gold! It belonged to the King of Luxemburg.”

The Prince winced when Victoria grabbed his Belgium linen napkin, and began to scrub the contents of his pen starting next to the restaurant’s monogram stitched by the sacred Widows of Malta. He tried to say something, but, Victoria raised her hand.

“Ah! Ah! Ah! – Ah!”

Now he let out a moan.

Victoria has gotten down on her stomach. Her calves were raised, and her ankles, crossed. Her evening dress has fallen, and her thighs, are exposed. The patrons are doing their best to ignore her. The Duke of Rose, is amused, while The Prince is ringing Victoria’s napkin, it all he can do to not rise out of his chair – and shout at her!

“Alright!” Victoria cried, and stood up. “Nailed it. I wrote this poem – for you!”

Turning, she sees her Prince – is gone! She looks down and sees her twisted napkin – with an angry knot in it.

“Shoot!” Victoria said with a sigh, and looks at the flayed wings of the nub.



I find you irritating
I have no control over myself
but not too long
you also like
But of course I will not say that
do not really just expose myself
I just put a mask on my head
and hope that this feeling stops automatically

I think your eyes are beautiful
You’re making me goddamn nervous
I find you dead scary
so I change into a bitch
and go hit with a hockey stick
just so that I am afraid of you
Ok that was for the fun
your presence simply breeds with my brain


I feel like I am fleeing myself
Do you also have an off button?
I put that to you
Can I think quietly
and to fill myself with wine

Look, I think you’re sweet
am only very selective
So leave me alone
maybe I want you to kiss me
I think you are pretty
what a cunt
No idea what I feel
do not always look so sultry
I do not want to see you anymore
Pick me up tomorrow at half past nine.

About Royal Rosamond Press

I am an artist, a writer, and a theologian.
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1 Response to Lara Roozemond – Dutch Katherine Hepburn

  1. Reblogged this on Rosamond Press and commented:

    Lara Roozemond is my star. I want her to play Victoria Bond. She a poet.

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