Spring Break For Jesus

During his final acceptance speech, Bret Kavanough gave a shout-out to his drinking buddies. I am now working on a Musical ‘Spring Break For Jesus’. I will heavily plagiarize Roger and Hammerstein because it was God’s Will they were born with talent. This goes for almost everyone and everything else. Now that the Republican control it all, everything will be sucked into the Joyful and Sexy Jesus Pile. The more power, the merrier!

It’s time for God-Jesus to throw a National Victory Kegger to celebrate the advances of His Judaic-Christian religion, that overcame the Roman Bacchus and the Greek Dionysus. You can say King Jesus drank those classical drunks under the table.

The first tune ‘Jesus Throws a Roman Kegger’, celebrates the overthrow of the Pagan People, many of them blonde Nordic types from up North. Anti-Semitism is born, which is good according to the teaching of Saint Paul, who replaces Jesus-Speak with Paulianity. Paul is  the first Budweiser Man. Thanks to Paul you can have your keg and eat pork too!

Most all Roman teenagers weren’t buying it. Why should they adopt an old semtic God who was a stick in the mud? They weren’t a Semitic people? They just wanted to have fun with multiple deities. They wanted to eat and drink – until they barf! Screw the Ten Commandments! All people’s got laws. Most young people don’t have time to read the Bible. However, they might take in the No.1 musical of all time, that replaces ‘Hamilton’.


Jews are bustin’ out all over!
All over the meadow and the hill!
Buds’re bustin’ outa bushes
And the rompin’ river pushes
Ev’ry little keg that wheels beside the mill!

Jesus is bustin’ out all over!
The feelin’ is gettin’ so intense
That the young Virgin creepers
Hev been huggin’ the bejeepers
Outa all the mornin’-mugs on the fence.
Because it’s Jews for Jesus!
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus
Jest because it’s June, June, for Jesus!

June is bustin’ out all over!
The ocean is full of Jews for Jesus,
With her little tail a-swishin’
Ev’ry lady fish is wishin’
That a male would come
And grab her by the gills!

Because it’s Jesus! Jesus, Jesus, Jeus

Just because it’s June, June, June!

Fresh and alive and gay and young
Jesus is a love song, sweetly sung

Jesus is bustin’ out all over!
The saplin’s are bustin’ out with sap!
Love he’s found my Christian brother, “Junior,”
And my sister’s even lunier,
And my ma is gettin’ kittenish with Pap.


Kegs is bustin’ out all over!

June is bustin’ out all over!
The sheep aren’t sleepin’ any more.
All the rams that chase ewe sheep
Are determined there’ll be new sheep,
And the ewe sheep aren’t even keepin’ score!

Because it’s June! June, June, June
Just because it’s Jacob, Joseph, John!
It’s June! It’s Joshua, Jessie, James
Just because it’s June, June…

March went out like a lion
A-whippin’ up the water in the bay.
Then April cried and stepped aside,
And along came pretty little May!

May was full of promises,
But she didn’t keep ’em quick enough for some,
And a crowd of Doubtin’ Thomases
Was predictin’ that the summer’d never come.

But it’s comin’, by gum!
Y’ ken can feel it come,
Y’ ken can feel it in yer heart,
Y’ ken can see it in the ground,

Y’ ken can see it in the trees,
Y’ ken can smell it in the breeze

Look around, look around, look around!

To ladies the men are payin’ court.
Lotsa ships are kept at anchor
Jest because the captains hanker
Fer the comfort they ken only get in port!

June makes the bay look bright and new,
Sails gleamin’ white on sunlit blue.

You can hear it comin’!

June is bustin’ out all over
The moonlight is shining on the shore
And the girls who were contrary
With the boys in January,
Aren’t nearly for contrary anymore!

[Claramae and Chorus]
Because it’s June! June, June, June
Just because it’s June, June, June!


On accounta it’s June!
June, June, June
Jest because it’s June, June, June

About Royal Rosamond Press

I am an artist, a writer, and a theologian.
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