The Royal Janitor
The Eel Queen
After Victoria Bond was crowned Britain’s ‘Eel Queen of the Nile’ she didn’t know what direction her life had taken. The congratulations letter she got from the Pope, confused and alarmed her. As she took in the words of one of the most powerful men on earth, the hair on her arms stood up – and vibrated! This never happened before.
Dear Ms. Bond
I was just as surprised as you to learn there was a secret society called ‘The Sacred Order of the Eel’. It appears that many of the world’s religious mysteries are now being solved. Why no one considered it was an eel that adorned Cleopatra’s crown, is a dereliction of duty. That Alexander the Great was trying to corner the river eel market, makes perfect sense. Who knows how powerful you will become. But, let me remind you what the Roman slave said to the Triumphetor;
“All glory……is fleeting.”
It was right after this, that the Sea Leprechauns began to appear. They gave Victoria very cryptic messages that she assumed were warnings. Most of them were quite pedestrian. She suspected they were practicing on her, perhaps preparing her for some unseen event. While putting petrol in Greycloud, one of them ( he was wearing a fishing net) gave her some good advice.
“Et twood de ya a wood of goot to attend the Basel Guild parade!”
The next day, she went to see her travel agent, and one of these, things, was sweeping the walkway outside.
“What ever yet dood, dood not goat te Basel Infuct – RUN! Run lassie, as fast as you can!”