“That’s right boy. You eat that cherry, and grow up to be big and strong like me!”

Above is the infamous photograph of my grandson in a bar with a ex-bartender named ‘Flip’ who refused to shake my hand when we met, and gave me a hostile look, like he wanted to go outside and fight me. Flip will soon die of acute alcoholism. This photo may be adopted by Alcohol Justice. Tyler Hunt may be their poster boy.

The reason Flip was so pissed with me, was, he had been convinced I was not doing anything to promote my daughter’s million dollar career as Rosamond’s niece. They never met. Heather Hanson came into my life when she was sixteen. Our story is just like ‘Matchstick Men’ except we are really bloodkin. The solution for my extreme fatherly negligence, was, to get my family to buy Bill Cornwell a bar.