Phoenix Rising

Yesterday I talked to my attorney about suing Linda Comstock for giving my minor daughter the idea drinking alcohol is good for you, and a wonderful lifestyle. There is evidence alcoholism is a genetic trait. Linda’s father was a violent alcoholic that may have caused her mother to jump off a cliff and kill herself. In 1988 I asked my sister Vicki who introduced her to drinking.
“My father!” was her answer.
“Who does Christine say go her into drinking?”
“Vic!”

A attorney will call me today about suing for Grandparent Visitation Rights. My grandson, Tyler Hunt is being given powerful messages that consuming alcohol is a wonderful thing. There is a photo of Tyler in a bar on Linda’s Facebook receiving hugs and love from his mother and his great aunt? After our trip to Bullhead City there appear a rash of photos on Bill Cornwell, Heather Hanson’s Facebook where adults are drinking around my grandson. I wondered if this was intentional because Vick and I did not want Lind’s boyfriend, Flip, at out family reunion because he was incredulous that there would be no alcohol there.
“You got to have beer!” he said as we left Linda’shouse. “It get’s real hot here!” said Flip in a panic.
“Jon’s a member of AA!” offered Linda, breaking my anonymity. She did not get this info from me, but from Heather.
Linda has offered Flip’s services as a cook, he a co-owner of a bar and grill. You can describe Linda as a professional Cocktail Hostess who was in charge of entertaining her rich ex-husband, who Heather describes as a “heavy drinker” . You can describe Flip’s swollen eyes and face as the face you would see in the Bowery or on Skid Row. There was not way I was going to let this loud-mouthed drunk in my sister’s home with her grandchildren, whil Linda and Heather paraded around in Cocktail dresses, sucking on their drinkee-poohs, like mother, like daughter! meanwhile, Bill Cornwell is at the MGM hotel in Las Vegas getting shit-faced with his friends at a bachelor party, I yet to meet this heavy-hitter, this Big Gun my daughter was hauling to Bullhead city to stabe her father in the back, so she too can drink like a fish, so she can be just like Linda. You can say Bill turned my daughter into an alcoholic, but, she wanted this. So did her aunt. So did Flip! These four people can not stop drinking if they tried. How many times have they tried is the question a Judge would like to know.I mean there solution for this Family Crisis was for me to take another drink and throw away twenty four years of sobriety, just to get along, just so I can see my grandson again. Heather installed Drunken Bill as the guard at the door, gave him the job of protecting her son, whom she is using the same way her mother used her. to get in the door of my family so this mother and daughter team could get next to Rosamond’s Fame.

Both Heather and Patrice Hanson told me Lida was employing her drunken husbands money to entice my daughter away from her mother. I suspect it is Linda who is going to bankroll the Bar & Grill Bill told me he and Heather were going to operate. This Big Deal was kept a secret from me before we all went to Bullhead. This was a diabolical power play.

My mother bought my childhood friend, Bill Arnold – TWO CARS! Bill was sixteen when Rosemary gave him sanctuary from his brutal father. No sooner had Bill moved into the San Sebastian house, then Rosemary lent Bill four hundred dollars to purchase a 1950 Ford so he could turn it into a hotrod. Rosemary told her sixteen and fifteen year old son she bought the car for us too, so we could help Bill make a hotrod. Bill did not want, nor did he get, Mark and my help.

When I was seventh, I was forced out of my home after I stopped drunken Rosemary from beating on Christine. I hitchhiked to New York in the middle of winter. In two days I was working out of agency that hires derelicts for day work. I took home $8 dollars a day. In a cockroach infested hotel, I found a half bag of flour. I had a hotplate and frying pan. It was Sunday. I had not eaten a thing all day. I would not work till Monday. I called my drunken mother and asked her of she would lend me a $100 dollars so I could rent my room by the week, which would allow me to eat. She said this, as coldly as possible;

“I can’t help you. You’re on your own!”

Two months later she met Bill Arnold in a motel in Oakland and lent him $700 hundred dollars to buy the Volvo he drove on to the railroad track, in order to take his life. He had betrayed his best friend. He let my mother get his body, alas, because he needed that car to get a job. If he did not get a job, then his military father would pull strings to get his son on the Army.

When Patrice Hanson disappeared my minor child from my life, she endrgaed her to begin a relationship with members of my family I was at odds with over Christian’s biography. Two years later when I found her, she was seeing Vicki and Shamus. When we talked I asked her why she was seeing members of my family.
“They have nothing to do with you. You had no bond with them when growing up.”
“I have a right to meet members of my family. Just because you’re not getting along with them, doesnt mean I can’t”
“I have real reasons why I am not getting along with them. You are upsetting they dynamics of a very dysfunctional family. You are only seeing them because you and your mother want to be in Christine’s biography as to promote your singing career.”

You could say, I ow the right to see my grandson, even though I am not getting along with the Lovers of Alcoholic Beverages.

Rosemary soaked away a lot of money. She kept us hungry and in rags out of spite. Almost every day she let us know how much she despised our father,because he had seduced and deceived her, getting her to forsake her career and chance at stardom, leaving her high and dry, stuck with his four brats. She threatened to abandon us at least once a month. She make cryptic remarks, that she was taking care of herself, and she would not be trapped for long. Rosemary let us know how much we owed her, saying she sacrified her life in hollywood with the B actor, George. Instead she married our father. for this his children had to make sacrifices for Rosemary, who was making porno movies and protesting herself for the Mob. She got paid a lot. she had her Freedom Wad. She used this was to kill my best friends. she deserved Bill. I and Christine did not.

Tow years before Christine drowned, I got into therapy with a woman who specialized in helping artists. She had paintings of Phoenix birds on her walls done by past clients. She bid me to do a simple genealogy, and fired me when i did not comply. I am genealogist of some renown, and the Story of Rosamond is one of the best genealogical tales ever! This means nothing to Heather, Patrice, and Linda. Why? Heather and Tyler do not look like any of the Hanson. They look like me, and my grandfather, Royal Rosamond. The Hanson refuse to see this. Why?

I asked this therapist to help me fins a way to put and end to the chasm that came to exist between my sister and I who once had a beautiful bond, that amazed those who got close to us. I wanted the two artist in the family to rise from the ashes of ruin and dispar and soar like the Phoenix Bird. I wanted to see both of renditions o thisbirdon the wall of my therapist. But, it was not to be. Christine Rosamond’s Sober Birthday fell on the day of her funeral.

It’s time to begin to tell our story. capturing Beauty will begin with me dying on the plane to Bullhead city where my beautiful daughter awaits to betray me, take control of the end of our beautiful story, and install the drunks she has bonded with – in a coup. My daughter and he mother did well for themselves because of the wounds and riffs in my family. If Christine was alive, they would not have gotten so close. Linda, Bill, and Flip work the Family Split like pros, like the parasites they are! Consider flies and their larva. I went to Bullhead City to heal family wounds with my surviving sister, Victoria Mary Presco.

In the case of a petition, one can be filed only (1) when the natural or adoptive parents are unmarried or living separately and apart on a permanent or indefinite basis, (2) if one parent has been absent for at least one month and his or her whereabouts are unknown, (3) if one of the parents joins in the grandparents’ petition,

Yes, the child of alcoholic parents is probably more likely to become alcoholic but, and this is a big BUT, it all comes down to choice. He or she can choose not to take the first drink

Long-Term Excessive Consumption
Excessive alcohol consumption is defined as more than two drinks per day for men, and more than one drink a day for women, according to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC).

A 2007 study from the Department of Internal Medicine, Armed Forces Hospital, Brazil, states that, “by not entirely clear mechanisms, alcohol users present hypersensitivity reactions…alcohol intake has been associated with distinctive skin changes and exacerbation of dermatological disorders,” including a puffy face. The study cites a case of a man with massively swollen eyes and upper lip, most likely due to a decade of excessive alcohol consumption.

Read more: Why Does Alcohol Cause a Puffy Face? | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/about_6459445_alcohol-cause-puffy-face_.html#ixzz20tIJMC76

1. Do you consider yourself to be a normal drinker? (i.e. you drink as much or as little as most other people)?
2. Have you ever woken up after drinking the night before and not been able to remember part or all of the evening??
3. Does a near relative or close friend ever worried or complained about your drinking ?
4. Can you stop drinking without difficulty after one or two drinks?
5. Do you ever feel guilty about your drinking?
6. Have you ever attended a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)?
7. Have you ever gotten into physical fights when drinking?
8. Has drinking ever caused problems between you and a near relative or close friend?
9. Has any family member or close friend gone to anyone for help about your drinking?
10. Have you ever lost friends because of your drinking?
11. Have you ever gotten into trouble at work because of your drinking?
12. Have you ever lost a job because of drinking?
13. Have you ever neglected your obligations, your family, or your work for two or more days because you were drinking?
14. Do you drink before noon fairly often?
15. Have you ever been told you have liver trouble such as cirrhosis?
16. After heavy drinking have you ever had delirium tremens (D.T.s), severe shaking, visual or auditory (hearing) hallucinations?
17. Have you ever gone to anyone for help about your drinking?
18. Have you ever been hospitalized because of drinking?
19. Has your drinking ever resulted in being hospitalized in a psychiatric facility?
20. Have you ever gone to any physician, social worker, clergy member or mental health clinic for help with any emotional problem in which drinking was part of the problem?
21. Have you been arrested more than once for driving under the influence of alcohol?
22. Have you ever been arrested, even for a few hours, because of other behavior while drinking?

 

It is described as a bird with a colorful plumage and a tail of gold and scarlet (or purple, blue, and green according to some legends[which?]). It has a 500 to 1000 year life-cycle, near the end of which it builds itself a nest of twigs that then ignites; both nest and bird burn fiercely and are reduced to ashes, from which a new, young phoenix or phoenix egg arises, reborn anew to live again. The new phoenix is destined to live as long as its old self. In some stories, the new phoenix embalms the ashes of its old self in an egg made of myrrh and deposits it in the Egyptian city of Heliopolis (literally “sun-city” in Greek). It is said that the bird’s cry is that of a beautiful song. The Phoenix’s ability to be reborn from its own ashes implies that it is immortal, though in some stories the new Phoenix is merely the offspring of the older one. In very few stories they are able to change into people

Many of us found that we had several characteristics in common as a result of being brought up in an alcoholic or other dysfunctional household. We had come to feel isolated, and uneasy with other people, especially authority figures. To protect ourselves, we became people-pleasers, even though we lost our own identities in the process. All the same we would mistake any personal criticism as a threat. We either became alcoholics (or practiced other addictive behavior) ourselves, or married them, or both. Failing that, we found other compulsive personalities, such as a workaholic, to fulfill our sick need for abandonment.
We lived life from the standpoint of victims. Having an overdeveloped sense of responsibility, we preferred to be concerned with others rather than ourselves. We got guilt feelings when we stood up for ourselves rather than giving in to others. Thus, we became reactors rather than actors, letting others take the initiative. We were dependent personalities, terrified of abandonment, willing to do almost anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to be abandoned emotionally. Yet, we kept choosing insecure relationships because they matched our childhood relationship with alcoholic or dysfunctional parents.
These symptoms of the family disease of alcoholism or other dysfunction made us ‘co-victims’, those who take on the characteristics of the disease without necessarily ever taking a drink. We learned to keep our feelings down as children and kept them buried as adults. As a result of this conditioning, we confused love with pity, tending to love those we could rescue. Even more self-defeating, we became addicted to excitement in all our affairs, preferring constant upset to workable relationships.

Common Characteristics
Isolation, fear of people, and fear of authority figures.
Difficulty with identity issues related to seeking constantly the approval of others.
Frightened by angry people and personal criticism.
Have become an alcoholic yourself, married one, or both. A variation would be the attraction to another compulsive personality such as a workaholic. The similarity is that neither is emotionally available to deal with overwhelming and unhealthy dependency needs.
Perpetually being the victim and seeing the world from the perspective of a victim.
An overdeveloped sense of responsibility. Concerned about the needs of others to the degree of neglecting your own wants and needs. This is a protective behavior for avoiding a good look at yourself and taking responsibility to identify and resolve your own personal difficulties.
Feelings of guilt associated with standing up for your rights. It is easier to give into the demands of others.
An addiction to excitement. Feeling a need to be on the edge, and risk-taking behaviors.
A tendency to confuse feelings of love and pity. Attracted to people that you can rescue and take care of.
Avoidance of feelings related to traumatic childhood experiences. Unable to feel or express feelings because it is frightening and/or painful and overwhelming. Denial of feelings.
Low self-esteem. A tendency to judge yourself harshly and be perfectionistic and self-critical.
Strong dependency needs and terrified of abandonment. Will do almost anything to hold onto a relationship in order to avoid the fear and pain of abandonment.
Alcoholism is a family disease which often results in a family member taking on the characteristics of the disease even if they are not alcoholics (para-alcoholics). Dysfunctional relationships, denial, fearful, avoidance of feelings, poor coping, poor problem solving, afraid that others will find out what you are really like, etc.
Tendency to react to things that happen versus taking control and not being victim to the behavior of others or situations created by others.
A chameleon. A tendency to be what others want you to be instead of being yourself. A lack of honesty with yourself and others.

There are many who believe, and research seems to back them up, that the child of an alcoholic mother or father is more likely to become drink dependent.

In other words there is a link between alcoholism and genetics.

Statistics seem to support the alcoholism genetics link:

The COGA (the Collaborative Study on the Genetics of Alcoholism) states that the child of a drink dependent parent is 4 to 9 times more likely to develop the same problem.

Another study suggests that 95% of alcoholics had or have a close family member with a drink problem.

20-25% of sons and daughters of alcoholics become drink dependent.

Looking at this evidence it seems that there is a strong hereditary factor at play.

However, the picture is slightly more complicated than this…….

Alcoholism Genetics
Environmental Alcoholism vs.Genetic Alcoholism

The problem lies in determining whether a person’s drinking problem is genetic or environmental.

Let’s take an example….

…. a man who has an alcoholic father becomes an alcoholic himself. Is this because one of his parents carries a specific alcoholism gene or genes that he has passed on to his son? Or is it because the son grew up in a household where alcohol flowed freely, where stress and frustration were ‘cured’ at the bottom of a bottle? Or perhaps it is a combination of both?

Difficult to say, but….

Twin studies seem to support Alcoholism and Genetics Link.

A number of studies have been carried out on twins which have investigated this link further.

Results show that identical twins (physically and genetically identical) are more likely to BOTH develop alcoholism than fraternal twins (not genetically identical).

Results also show that identical MALE twins are more likely to be both drink dependent than female identical twins.

Moreover more severe drinking problems are more likely to be inherited than less severe ones.

But this doesn’t rule out environmental factors.

Identical twins are generally brought up in the same household and both experience and ‘learn’ from that environment.

In order to rule out the environmental influence researchers studied identical twins who had been adopted separately.

These studies seemed to support the alcoholism genetics argument.

Regardless of whether the adoptees were brought up in an alcoholic or non-alcoholic household, identical twins were still more likely to be drink dependent than fraternal twins.

So research tends to point to a an alcoholism genetics link, yet the data is by no means conclusive. Research is still ongoing in this area.

A lot of time, expertise and money is being spent on these studies because….

Why it’s Important to Know if Alcoholism and Genetics are Linked.

There are three major reasons why establishing a link between alcoholism and genetics would be useful:

if there is an ‘alcoholism gene’ then it is possible to identify those at risk and to act. Warn them; give advice, counseling, therapy etc.

it would help us to understand the environmental factors better.

It could also help us better understand the alcoholism disease. Maybe it would lead us eventually to an alcoholism cure

Alcoholism and Genetics
Personality is Hereditary NOT Alcoholism

There are some in the field who claim that yes, drink addiction is genetic, but there is no alcoholism gene as such.

Rather it is the personality type (which is more susceptible to drink dependence) that is passed from generation to generation.

This personality type is one that is more prone to anxiety and depression.

Researchers say that 30%-70% of alcoholics show these characteristics. In order to cope with their feelings this ‘type’ tends to self-medicate with alcohol.

Over time this leads to dependence on the ‘medication’.

CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLICS ARE MORE LIKELY TO…..

Suffer from drug and drink problems.

Have an addictive personality.

Suffer from depression and anxiety.

Be more tense and stressed. They won’t have the same coping skills as other children and later, adults.

Be risk takers and seek the attention of others.

Not do well at school or get on with their peers and teachers.

Alcoholism and Genetics
Predestined to Drink?

So are the children of drink dependent grandparents, parents, siblings destined to a life ‘on the bottle’?

In a word, no! An emphatic, NO!

It all comes down to choice.

Yes, the child of alcoholic parents is probably more likely to become alcoholic but, and this is a big BUT, it all comes down to choice. He or she can choose not to take the first drink

The genetic component of alcoholism does not condemn the child of an addicted parent. The risk is higher but it is not their destiny. Awareness is the key.

Genetic Alcoholism
Support for Children of Alcoholics

The child of an alcoholic, whether still a child or now an adult, can be supported in a number of ways:

It is important that the child of an alcoholic knows that teenage drinking (particularly before the age of 15) greatly increases his/her chances of becoming alcoholic. In fact they are 50% more likely to become alcoholic than someone who has their first drink at 18 (and this does not take other factors into consideration e.g. genes, environment etc.)

Counseling and/or therapy can be offered. This is good for exploring issues, feelings, memories, teaching coping skills and so on. There are all kinds of therapy and counseling offered these days and it is always best to get a recommendation from somebody before approaching a professional. If you can’t get a recommendation then make sure that whoever you are going to belongs to the relevant regulatory professional body.

ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) is an organization along the same lines as AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) which offers support and an outlet for those who have/had a drink dependent parent. This is a 12 Step group and has a strong spiritual element. Not to everyone’s taste but it can be of great benefit. It costs nothing but time so why not give it a try. Remember it’s anonymous.

About Royal Rosamond Press

I am an artist, a writer, and a theologian.
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1 Response to Phoenix Rising

  1. Reblogged this on Rosamond Press and commented:

    I awoke with practice words in my head, I telling my therapist exactly what kind of monster my mother was.

    https://rosamondpress.com/2012/07/16/loyalty-and-trust/
    Can you sue abusive parents? | Rosamond Press

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