Can you sue abusive parents?

This is from Adult Children of Alcoholics.

Jon

is it possible to sue abusive parents for damages??

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I am not saying I would actually do this…but maybe, possibly if it was a real chance it would turn out right. I wondered why you never see in teh news about people suing abusive family members, but you see about them suing priests or occasionally teachers.

It struck me as curious, because most kids who are abused/ molested is by family members, parents.

For me, I feel like I would like to sue for damages my parents, their alcoholism led me to have anorexia nervosa which I almost died from, caused me long lasting emotional difficulties, including anxiety and alot of difficulty relating to men especially…it basically caused a spectrum of problems, some very serious, some that prevented me when I was young from having opportunities, such as going to college and geting a degree. ALthough I know I am partly responsible for not getting my degree now, when I was really young, at 18 emotionally I was like a 13 yr old because of the abuse in teh home and how it affected me. I was never given any guidance or help from parents, also my life was put at risk several times when my dad drove us drunk in teh car, there was also some phsycial abuse, and definately it caused post traumatic stress.

I was adopted, so I am thinking of finding out if it’s possible to sue the agency that adopted me into their home…I feel that they just looked at their bank account, and nice house, and approved the adoption, they didnt do any real looking into their personalities, their parenting abilities, and I know they didnt have them do anything like taking parenting classes beforehand. In those days, they basically looked to see a couple who had a good amount of money, nice home and then they would do a cursory interview, that almost anyone would ‘pass’.

It grieves me to think that my birthparents gave me up, so that I could have a loving secure homelife, yet I was carelessly placed into an alcoholic home…if the adoption agency had been more scrutinizing of them, had looked past their bank account, I could have been spared a life time of pain. I feel that my birthparents were unjustly taken away their right to have me placed into what they were told would be a safe loving home.
If they knew I ‘d be placed into an alcoholic home, what was the point of them even giving me up?

__________________

Mrs_Snoopy

Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 2755
Date: Jul 30, 2007

Dear Deebaker:

That is an interesting concept!

It deals with a lot of intangibles. I think the courts have a hard time with damages unless it is money or property. And your parents could always plead “insanity”!

My stepbrother and stepsister were adopted and their new parents were given a psychological evaluation. Apparently they missed my stepfather’s alcoholism. They said he was “non-nurturing”, but allowed the adoption because his wife was over-nurturing. They divorced and he married my mother, who is another cold fish.

In Recovery,

~ Mrs. Snoopy

__________________

amber1889

Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 9
Date: Aug 1, 2007

Dear Deebaker,

I am pretty sure you can, it would get very messy so most people probably just do not want to. A case like that would make family members choose sides. But I am quite certain the courts would be able to do it considering that when a child wants to become emancipated the courts have to go through the family’s history and see why the parents are unfit, so if they can do that, I am sure they could sue for emotional damages. It has probably happened before but you just do not hear about it on the news, it is too likely. The media only covers the church and school cases because it connects to many viewers and those are supposed to be safe places that you can go outside the home. If the news covered every domestic problem they would have to make their news hour longer!

Well that’s my two cents! Hope it helps!

–amber1889

__________________

rosielightshines

Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 3075
Date: Aug 4, 2007

My natural father used me as his sex outlet my ENTIRE teen years- God how I wish I had been mentally healthy enough to sue him for EVERY thing he had b4 he died, but I was too mentally and emotionally ill to do it-

sometimes I get angry thinking of all he cost me- drugs, opportunities, lost potential, lost hope, lost trust/innocense- so many tangibles and intangibles- I just have to trust that he paid the karma when he died- i erased his name off mine in a court of law and got to tell a REAL court what a slimey piece of manure he was- but the $$$ he cost me??? There is no way I could tabulate it- so I just have to believe that we all get paid, postivie or negative during life or after life

to answer your question, i believe one can sue for damages- and screw the one who go against you- if you are taking care of you and REALLY were injured such as i was, now that i am healthy and the bastard was still alive, I would take him for everything i could and if the siblings didn’t like it?? well they didn’t go through the hell i did AND if i am entitled to damages i want them

like this job i had to walk out on cuz of the abuse/ indecent exposure and then threats- i am going to check into , can i sue them for damages- they injured me and i want compensation for it- If i can’t get it?? then i’ll just have to work through the feelings, let it go , and trust in karma- NOONE escapes the “payback” they are due

hope this helped, Rosie

__________________
Rosie————REAL love is when I can totally know me and STILL love and accept me

Mrs_Snoopy

Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 2755
Date: Aug 4, 2007

Dear Rosielightshines:

My story is nowhere near as horrible as yours, but I also went to court when I was in college and changed my name. I sent my father a copy of the court order (like he cared).

I’m not sure there is fairness, at least in this lifetime. It seems like some people get away with hurting others and don’t even have a conscience that bothers them.

In Recovery,

~ Mrs. Snoopy

__________________

rosielightshines

Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 3075
Date: Aug 6, 2007

Mrs_Snoopy wrote:
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I’m not sure there is fairness, at least in this lifetime. It seems like some people get away with hurting others and don’t even have a conscience that bothers them.

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***Hey Mrs. S…..i don’t think life is fair at all, however at SOME point we ALL face the karma / good or bad for what we do to our brother- i relate to your saying folks get away with hurting others and dont have a care- well??? just becuz i dont’ SEE the karma hit them, i believe it does!!! the chinease law of ying and yang, what GOES around DOES COME around

like my job- i wont see them pay, but they will- i am going to, when i get my unemployment started, file a suit for damages if i can- at MINIMUM a grievance…..peace, Rosie

About Royal Rosamond Press

I am an artist, a writer, and a theologian.
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