I found out on Facebook two of my young kin, have died. I check in on the Dundon family once a month and was shocked to learn Jennifer Dundon lost her eldest son in an auto accident. I was sent on a journey up river where I camped and swam with them all. Then I found Rafe’s obituary. I was taken on a vision of such import. How does a mother handle the death of her child? Then, someone I didn’t know is saying his love, was dead. He was trying to find her family. Drew’s parents were dead by 1996. Drew was a loner’s loner. We were not close. She was not close with any of her family. I grieved in Christine’s place. I was there for her when they brought her home from the hospital. I am not at a loss for words. I doubt Rafe and Drew ever met. Did she ever chat with Jennifer? We are family.
So, there are words to go with them, and be by their side. I met Jennifer when she was two. She never met Christine, but she heard much about her. Her father never stop loving my sister. My sister never stopped loving her children. We are here, Left amongst the living. To carry on…the love. The love our children gave us.
Greg
Rafe “Fikis” Gabriel Donoho
November 20, 1998 – April 19, 2024
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Rafe’s obituary
Rafe Gabriel Donoho, our son, brother, grandson, nephew, cousin and friend, came into this world with thunder and strength. I can still remember his eyes, the way they softened when his mother held him. A love born of some ineffable force. Precocious, adventurous and at times unstoppable, his early years were filled with unbridled laughter and mishaps. You couldn’t leave him alone for a moment. His curious eyes and quick feet would inevitably find something to put in his mouth. This was all tempered with a softness, a caring deeply ingrained within him. He loved to wrestle and snuggle, telling his mother “I love you best I ever seen”.
I can remember hiking in those early years. He couldn’t have been more than 6. I would start the journey thinking he would make it 20 minutes in and inevitably ask me to carry him, and certainly there were those times. However, at times he would push his little 6 year old legs for miles. It was beyond impressive. From the beginning his sturdy body was built to withstand all this world could throw at it. And yet, as he grew older you could sense a kind of fragility in him. Not weakness, an unwillingness to bend. As with many kids, his journey across these dark waters started far too soon. For many years he struggled with the harsh realities of this world. Forever the warrior, he made his way. He would have his days in the sun with all of you, and those eyes would return if only for a while.
Through this all, that innate caring held strong within him. A caring that would manifest when he would find something or someone suffering and lend them his strength without limit. This led him into the military where it seemed he had finally found his purpose. Sending a child into that maelstrom is at once a terrifying yet revelatory moment. A moment you realize he has chosen a fate and is willing to face that oncoming storm alone, and that all he asks is for your trust. He faced that storm in the manner he faced everything he chose, with resistance, strength and a desire to confirm in himself that which all but he could see. Beauty! Unfortunately, fate would turn its keys unlocking yet another path through a new door and his military career would be cut short by a car accident.
He returned to us with what seemed renewed purpose. Plans for his future, dreams and possibilities. I remember his smile in those early days back, his laugh. We would go shooting and he would instruct me on all he had learned and of course correct all my “civilian” habits. It is a beautiful thing, the realization your son has become a man. That he no longer asks you to stand in front of him against the oncoming storm, but beside him. His journey through those dark waters would continue, however, and his resistance would harden. His eyes would grow tired and on the morning of April 19th, 2024, our son, brother, grandson, nephew, cousin and friend would take fate into his own hands and begin a new journey.
I love you kid!
We love you!
You are missed beyond measure my boy!
In the echos of the times we missed & the echos of the times we had I remember your smile!
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