I have a back-up script for a movie are series, titled ‘Red House’. My stars will resemble Victoria Bond and Miriam Starfish.
Chilli Nikki, a Russian tennis shoes manufacturer, is concerned that Phil Knight will put him out of business. Taking advantage of the trade war, Chilli makes a deal with a EPA official to bring a crack all woman’s track team to Eugene Oregon, get them enrolled at the University of Oregon, where they will found their own sorority that will soon be nicknamed ‘Red House’.
Alas, heads will be turned as a squad of tall Nordic Rus are seen jogging around town in Nikki shoes. They get on the news almost every day. They are adored. They are the epidemy of clean wholesome fun. Nikki becomes a household word in the Emerald Valley. If you are under twenty-four, you got on a pair of Nikki shoes. What could go wrong?
Kwiang’o Nattitude is a very radical black women who is the head of Black Lives Matter who chokes when she sees these bouncing white beauties jog past her. She is on the track team, and has heard they were coming. She wants in to their sorority. She gets a lawyer. I want Lupita Nyongo’o to play Ms. Nattitude.
Convicteo del Rio a Marxist anarchist radical woman who chooses to live on the street with her homeless Warrior Women. This ex-Miss Oregon wants in Red House, even though she will only spend the weekends there. She misses the great parties she used to attend until she became Saint Kesey of the Square. Conny’s majors in Political Science and is expect to win the Woman’s Javelin at the Olympics. She lawyers up.
The Aryan Saints of Christ are a biker club that volunteers to be the bodyguard for Alpha Sigma Alpha after they are molested by the infamous panhandler, Ambrosius Stormdrain Heatho-Fink. All he wanted was a cigarette, a can of beer, his library fine paid, a ticket to go see his mother in Portland, and, $200 dollars to get his dog out of the kennel.
‘We aren’t Communists. We believe in the free enterprise system.”
I want $2,000,000 dollars for the Brand Name ‘Chilli Nikkis’