My Wine Country Daddy

A Sitcom

Jon Presco

Lance Ryan goes to France after graduating from Chico State College. He has a degree in horticulture and wants to study the most famous wine region in the world. He meets a woman there. They become lovers. She wants to get married. But, getting an inheritance from his Uncle Vinnie, he goes back to California to fulfill his dream. Charlotte loves France, and swore she would not step foot in California, and The Fake Wine Industry there. They part – fighting! She was going to tell Lance she was pregnant with his child.

While planting what would become Sonoma’s most famous vineyard, Lance falls from his tractor, and his ability to conceive a child is ripped away. His ability to have an errection is not impaired. Indeed, Lance becomes a famous lover. He is seen driving his Mercedes convertible all over wine country, turning many a beautiful head. One blonde head belongs to Sheila Fenwick, a friend of the Getty Family. It was her daughter, Tish Fenwick, who saw him first.

“Look at that golden god. What a great tan!”

Tish pretends to bump into Lance, and, is soon introducing her mother. They fall in love, and get married. Lance figures this is his big chance to be a father, a step-father.

Three months after the wedding, there is a knock on the door. He is administered a double shock! There is an old beater in his driveway, a decerped old station wagon. Thinking this is the gardeners daughter, he is about to ask her to remove herself from the premises – and her car, when……..

“Hi Daddy! My mother is Charlotte Fouquet. She told me where you live. She had a massive stroke and is not able to take care of me. Here is her letter! My name is Morgana. I am sixteen.”

Just then, Tish pulls up. There is a scowl on her face. Her little dog Fi-Fi takes a piss on Morgana’s tire, and she goes chasing after her.

“Who in the hell is that?”

“That’s………my daughter!”

The fierce compition is on. But, Morgan does not want anything Tish has, or wants. She refuses all the credit cards Lance offers her. Instead, she opens her own business in the giant barn where the barrels are kept. Soon, the most gorgeous young women in the Napa Valley are swinging and hanging from the rafters. There is Bat Time, when the women wear all black, and go into deep meditation – with Bat Music.

Tish is jealous, and tries to undermine her – whatever! There is a new cultural clash every week. To make matters worse, Her Doctor Krause Stuttmeister, Morgana’s secret German lover shows up out of the blue, and, falls in love with Tish as first sight!

“Christ! That woman has Aryan Bitch written all over her!”