Some newscasters and reporters predicted Trump would meet his Waterloo before he is sworn into office. That day has arrived. T-Born committed suicide out on the golf course when he 86’ed an old foe who wrote one of his first biographies. His playing partner was David Koch, who left the course with his Golf Buddie as is required in the uwritten book of Golf Ethics, which as of today, is the Hightest Law of the Land.
“The case of Elliot Saltman, handed an immediate three-month ban after a golfing court convened in Abu Dhabi found him guilty of replacing his ball incorrectly at a tournament in Moscow last September, has had golf’s hierarchy staring at the ground shaking heads.”
Are we talking about the Golfing World World Order? You betcha!
“Saltman, who denies wrongdoing, has 28 days to lodge his anticipated appeal.”
Here is a video of Sean Connery at a golf clinic being cured of his tendency to push his putts to the left. His session is interrupted by the trial of a golfer who was harboring Bad Swing Thoughts. His cousin claimed he was constantly hitting his drive into the water hazard due to these ill wishes. Wagering was involved. George Saydon was found guilty of Psychic Golf Violence. Trump is – FINISHED!
“Donald Trump personally booted the author of an unflattering biography off Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach on Friday. Harry Hurt III, who penned the 1993 biography, Lost Tycoon: The Many Lives of Donald J. Trump, had come to play with billionaire industrialist David. H. Koch, a Trump club member, and two other golfers. Hurt, who has a scratch handicap and plays in colorful knickers, walked over to Trump on the practice range prior to his group’s assigned tee time, only to suffer a tongue lashing from the president-elect. “I said, ‘Congratulations, sir,’ and shook his hand,” Hurt recalls. “Trump said, ‘You were rough on me, Harry. Really rough. That shit you wrote.’” Hurt says he looked Trump in the eye, and said, “It’s all true,” to which Trump rejoined, “Not in the way you wrote it.” Among the juicy tidbits in Hurt’s tome was Ivana Trump’s allegation in a sworn deposition that Trump had “raped” her during their divorce battle. Trump told Hurt it was “inappropriate” for him to play at the club, and had his security detail escort Hurt, Koch, and their playing partners to the parking lot. “David [Koch] was appalled,” says Hurt. “He branded Trump ‘petty’ and vulgar.’ We played Emerald Dunes instead, which is a much, much better golf course than Trump International.”
Now we know who we’re getting for President!
No! Not that guy! But…..George Costanza!
“Did you get your weekly Security Briefing, George?”
“Yeah I got it! What do you think I am – unprepared?”
Here’s T-Bone caught in a lie, just like George. Remember his fake charity and Festifus?
Trump is never going to be our President. He’d rather shoot the shit with George Steinbrenner – if he was still alive. Like George, Trump will have an office where he can hide out and twitter all day.
“Did you hear I designed new uniforms for the Yankees ?”
Trump did not want to be President. He wanted to get even for sinking the USFL. He felt humiliated, and, undermined. He still wants revenge! This is why he is surrounded by Generals. He wants to even the score. God help anyone who gets in his way. An elephant never forgets – or forgives! The South will rise again. The North will pay for the actions of General Sherman. T-Bone has kicked many a golf ball back into play with his shoe, his trusty nine iron. Trump did not use a sword to minister harikari, but a sand wedge.
harikari – ritual suicide by self-disembowelment on a sword; practiced by samurai in the traditional Japanese society. harakiri, hara-kiri, seppuku. self-annihilation, self-destruction, suicide – the act of killing yourself; “it is a crime to commit suicide”
Donald Trump made a splash by signing Doug Flutie to the USFL’s New Jersey Generals, who were coached by Walt Michaels, left. AP Photo/Marty Lederhandler
The final game in United States Football League history, a 28-24 victory by the Baltimore Stars over the Oakland Invaders, was played 30 years ago on July 14. The 1985 USFL championship game was held at Giants Stadium, home of the New Jersey Generals, who were owned by future presidential candidate Donald Trump. And it was Trump’s strategy for the league that is widely considered to have led to its demise.
Since the USFL folded after the 1985 season, Trump has tried to get back into sports with mixed results. He held several big fights at the Trump Plaza in Atlantic City before it shut down. He also operates 17 golf courses around the world, but the PGA of America won’t hold its Grand Slam of Golf at Trump National in Los Angeles after Trump’s recent controversial comments about Mexican immigrants. The golf club in Puerto Rico bearing his name filed for bankruptcy this week. Last year, Trump tried to get back into football by buying the Buffalo Bills, but Sabres owner Terry Pegula landed the franchise for $1.4 billion. In fact, one reason Trump bought a USFL team to begin with was that he saw it as an opening into the NFL by way of a merger.
Let’s take this anniversary as a chance to look back at five memorable aspects of Trump’s short tenure as a pro sports owner.
1. Trump is widely blamed for the demise of the USFL
Soon after Trump bought the Generals after the USFL’s inaugural season, which was played in the spring of 1983, he started pushing his fellow owners to move the league’s games to the fall and go head-to-head with the NFL. “If God wanted football in the spring,” Trump once said, “he wouldn’t have created baseball.” After the league’s third season, the owners agreed to move to a fall schedule in 1986.
“I think it was a big mistake,” said Dr. Ted Diethrich, one of the league’s original owners. “When that decision was made, the course for this was charted, and it was going to be a wreck.”
Several teams were having financial difficulties at the time, and the league lacked the fall TV contracts that supported the NFL. The USFL instead tried to take on the NFL in the courts by filing an antitrust lawsuit. The hope was that the USFL would either merge with the established league or win a sizable settlement. The merger never happened, and despite winning the lawsuit, the USFL was ultimately awarded only $3 for its troubles. The league soon folded, and Trump’s push for the fall schedule and a lawsuit against the NFL is generally cited as the main reason.
2. The Generals were pretty good under Trump
Trump will never be remembered as a great owner. It’s hard to be associated with helping to destroy a league and be considered a good owner at the same time. That said, the Generals were better during Trump’s two seasons as owner than they were in their inaugural season in 1983. Oklahoma oil magnate J. Walter Duncan was the team’s first owner, and he brought former Oklahoma and New England Patriots coach Chuck Fairbanks in as the head coach, general manager and minority partner. The Generals went 6-12 in their first season.
Duncan didn’t like being an absentee owner living in Oklahoma and sold the team to Trump, who was 37 years old when he bought the Generals. Trump fired Fairbanks and brought in former New York Jets coach Walt Michaels. Trump also made a splash by signing several former NFL players, including quarterback Brian Sipe, safety Gary Barbaro and linebacker Jim LeClair. The Generals went 14-4 in their second season and 11-7 in their third and final season. Both seasons under Trump ended with first-round playoff losses.
3. Trump almost lured Don Shula away from the Dolphins
After buying the Generals, Trump made a serious push to hire legendary coach Don Shula away from the Miami Dolphins. The deal, according to Trump, hinged on Shula’s demand for an apartment in Trump Tower, which Trump didn’t want to do despite agreeing to pay the coach at least $1 million per season over five years.
Trump, however, overplayed his hand when he publicly declared he was in negotiations with Shula and mentioned his demands during a clip that aired during halftime of a Dolphins game in October 1983. The comments and subsequent questions turned into a distraction, and Shula pulled his name from consideration.
4. The USFL’s Dream Team never materialized
After the 1985 season, the Generals merged with the Houston Gamblers to create a USFL “Dream Team” that would have included future NFL standouts Jim Kelly at quarterback, Herschel Walker at running back and Ricky Sanders are receiver.
“It’s probably the best team in football,” Trump said at the time of the merger. No one would ever find out if that was true, however, as the league folded before the 1986 season before it could carry out the plan to compete directly with the NFL in the fall.