Rosamond Press

Here’s how I would do the Saturday Night Live take-off.

There is one chair on stage. Offstage we hear heavy breathing and sniffling. We hear Clint’s voice holding a imaginary conversation with a chair. Dim the lights. A beam of light falls upon a shadowy figure who looks like Darth Vador. The camera follows him into the ring of stars. We hear heavy sniffling – that grows louder. Darth Sniffler circles the empty chair, fondles it, then grabs it gruffly – and starts humping it! You will see Trump do this for real – several times!

I think the Fourth Branch of Government was born tonight……..The Argue Slander and Pre-Convict Branch where Hillary and Donald meet once a month and feed raw meat to their base. ‘The Argue Room’. Divorce councilors will man the phones.

Here is my idea for a movie, or T.V. series ‘A Funny Thing Happened To Me On The Way to the Debate’. The guy in the red sweater (Ken Bones) is mistaken for a billionaire in disguise and invited to a Cage Fight between former Beauty Queens from America and Russia. There is heavy petting and betting. Fred ‘Funky Bones’ is a Geek for ‘The Fun Guys’ who are watching at home. They stand as one, and their jaws drop, when they see Funky being approached by a real hotty in the parking garage. He is wearing a body camera.

“Snatch me, you fat fucker! I’m your’s!”

“But! I’m a married man!”

“Not according to the info we hacked! Now, get down on your knees – and spread those fat cheeks! I’m going to do you between these parked cars! We know what you like!”

“Hey, aren’t you Sarah Palin, the ex-Beauty Queen who received millions of votes for Vice President? Why are letting Putin ‘The Commie’ suck your toes? Please, let me go home! This is not my world. Honest!’

Jon Presco

Copyright 2016