I Voted For A Witch

The kick seen round the world

Here is my idea for a new television show ‘I Voted For a Witch’ .

An arch conservative is gung-ho for a right-wing demigod who is sweeping the nation with his racist rant. His thugs are beating down the opposition. At the national convention, Bucky Belcher’s world is changed forever when the cutest dog in the world breaks loose from its master (the most rabid left-wing Lesbian in America) and runs right at Boris de Vere the third. Before his people, and the secret service can stop him, Boris kicks Fudgy as hard as he can, and Fudgy goes sailing over the crowd, and thru the goal posts in the stadium.

We see Bucky rising from his big easy chair waving his arms in a criss-cross motion. From his lips comes a long

“NOOOOOOOO!” and then these prophetic words.

“You can’t kick a dog and expect to be the next President of the United – least a Dog Catcher! What have you done!

Boris’ Kick is the most played video in history. Fudgy’s yelp is amplified. There is a national outcry for Boris’ arrest. The hate mail and death threats are off the charts. Many change their party affiliation in utter disgust – including Bucky!

Come election time, Bucky is cussing as he looks at the lousy liberal candidates. Out of spite, he choses the strangest one of the litter. He puts his X next to Serena ‘Wolfpack Persephone – who wins! There is a strange lightshow seen in the skies over downtown.

“I think I voted for a white woman. Let’s keep our finger’s crossed!”

It is a dark day in Mudville. To top it off, his good friend and neighbor, dies of a broken heart. An old beater Opal pulls up, and a woman in her late twenties gets out. There are half deflated balloons and streamer hanging all over it. On the side are these words.

“Congratulations, Serena! The Witchiest Witch in Town!?”

Serena’s house was condemned because she owned a hundred cats. Her father died just in the nick of time. A big truck pulls up, and Serena’s supporters unloads her evil ongoing Yard Sale – and put it all over the front lawn! Now that she is on the city council, the order to remove her junk, will not be enforced. The cigar falls from Belcher’s lips!.

“Jesus Christ! I voted for a Witch! Can my life get any worse!”

There is a ring at the door. When Bucky opens it, he is handed a summons. Boris has launched a class action suit against his most avid supporters for Abandonment of political Affections and Breach of Verbal Contract. They had taken an oath. Being a billionaire, Boris is bent on taking down as many people as possible – from his prison cell. Fudgy died of her injuries.

Alas, the world had enough of Boris and his Brown Shirts from Bulgaria. For most, the Dark Age was over. For Bucky, it was just beginning.

Episode One

‘Can You Hang?’

Angered by the lawsuit, Bucky throws away his wall tapestry of Ronald Reagan, and orders online a tapestry of the Kennedy Brothers, Martin Luther King, and Saint Fudgy. With his order he gets an image of Jesus for free. Bucky is now faced with an old dilemma, being, he was a Republican who did not believe in Jesus, even thought he alluded to this when pressed. To hang, or, not to hang. There is a knock on the door. Bucky opens it and is met with the hard stare of his new neighbor. He returns his classic ‘I am dealing with another parasite on society’ glare.

“What do you want? A cigarette? A cup of sugar? A crisp hundred-dollar bill?”

“No, my car won’t start, and if I miss another Satan Anonymous meeting, I’m out on my rear. Can you drive me?”

Bucky is resigned to his new “If you can’t lick em, join em!” policy.

“Sure. Why not. I usually go bowling with your father on Wednesday, but, he died of a broken heart – if you get my drift. Let me get my coat.”

In the car Serena offers;

“I fell in with the wrong crowd!”

“You and me both – sister!”

“I am not your sister!”