I was watching the Godfather last night and thinking of Randy Delpiano and his Sicilian family passing my baby around at their family gathering, while big-teeth Patrice is beaming ear to ear. Last week I watched the Dukes of Hazard take on the Mafia.

“Damn! Where are my people? The Prescos don’t seem to mind that one of ours was kidnapped and fondled by a bunch of greasy Guinea Goomba Wops.”

When I went to Bullhead City to attempt to make peace with my kindred, the first time, I get in Vicki’s car and there is my aunt Lillian who I had not seen in years.

“Oh by God! He looks just like Vic!”
“See! I told you my father was lying when he said Greg was not his son!”

Yep! He found me on the road, his crazy-ass Hillbilly Wild-child who has been a rose thorn in his side!