Praise Be – The Colorado Secessionists

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Eleven counties in Colorado vote to secede

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“George Armstrong Custer and Grand Duke Alexis of Russia pose at the start of an elaborate buffalo hunt arranged for the royal visitor by General Philip Sheridan. “Buffalo Bill” Cody served as scout on this 1870’s adventure and recounts the experience in his autobiography.”

Voters in Colorado got to vote whether certain counties are going to secede from the Union. Looks like these counties were once part of the Louisiana Territory which I have claimed for the the House of Bourbon in order to create the New France. Around the same time I offered land in California to President Putin for his personal hunting, if he recognizes me as the King of California, and releases members of Greenpeace.

The secessionist’s big gripe has to do with their guns that they clutch to their bosom in the belief the Evil One take them away. These folks want to live in the Land of Oz – and go home to Kansas.

There is a town in Colorado named Kit Carson, who was a Indian Killer, and good friend of my kindred, John Fremont. The U.S. Government, at tax payers expense, garrisoned a hundred Union Troops in Kit Carson in order to protect these big bad he-men from the native Americans who wanted them off their land. If it was not for the Federal Government, Kit Carson City would not exist. That the Feds funded the hunting expedition of a Russian Royal tells me the Fed is big on protecting hunters from Native American Hunters of the Buffalo.

Why should American Taxpayers back East pay for the protection of big bad men who even though heavily armed, are getting their asses handed to them by the original owners of the land who had been hunting here for thousands of years – long before Jesus Christ was born!

I think these Colorado Counties should be made into a Great White Hunter Vortex, a refuge for grown-ups, where they can be left alone to play Cowboy and Indian so as to preserve this species that is on the verge of extinction.

Jon Presco

PRAISE BE TO ZARDOZ!

Zardoz speaks to you: His Chosen Ones. You have been raised up from brutality to kill the brutals who multiply, and are legion.

To this end, Zardoz, your God, gave you the Gift of the Gun.

The Gun is Good.

The Penis is Evil!

The Penis shoots seeds and makes new life to poison the Earth with a plague of men.

As once it was.

But the Gun Shoots Death, and purifies the Earth of the filth of brutals!

Go Forth!

And Kill!

Zardoz has spoken.

The secession plan was driven by a number of new laws recently passed by the Democratic-controlled legislature, including gun control, the curbing of perceived cruel treatment of livestock, expanded regulation of oil and gas production, an increase in renewable energy standards in rural areas and civil unions.

“The heart of the 51st State Initiative is simple,” the backers of the measure explain on their website. “We just want to be left alone to live our lives without heavy-handed restrictions from the state capitol. Will statehood be easy? No. However, pioneers are who have made this state great. Those early miners that came for the gold rush were pioneers. The early settlers that began farming the land and built the infrastructure to enable Colorado to be an agricultural powerhouse — they were also pioneers.”

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Some will call (it) extreme, maybe aggressive,” said Weld County Commissioner Douglas Rademacher. “I would say absolutely. Extreme times call for extreme actions.”
We really don’t know what to say about this–if it were some “Tea Party” or “9/12er” activist group proposing Weld County’s secession from the state of Colorado, we would let it end with a good laugh–and it would still be newsworthy, much like the spate of “petitions” after last year’s election calling for various states to secede rather than face another four years of tyranny under President Barack Obama.
Call us quaint, but we’re shocked to see elected county commissioners seriously talking about such a patently ridiculous idea. Even in the case of Weld County commissioners, it’s an escalation of a series of increasingly politically far-out positions, after already facing controversy over their decision to stop offering emergency contraceptives at county health clinics. Weld County’s Sheriff John Cooke, as we’ve noted in this space, has embraced undeniably extreme positions on guns, the very issue upsetting the commissioners–such as repealing the post-Columbine Amendment 22 gun show background check law, and even repealing all instant federal background checks for gun sales. There seems to be a real breakdown of rationality in Weld County, among officials who wield considerable power. It’s embarrassing, but also kind of fascinating to watch.
As Malone reports, apparently if a county wants to secede, a countywide vote is necessary, which would then require state legislation, the Governor’s approval, and subsequent petitioning of Congress to create a new state. Alternatively, they might be able to join Wyoming or Nebraska, but we don’t know how that would work exactly.
Perhaps the best thing to do is let them get it out of their system, like when a kid throws a tantrum.
– See more at: http://coloradopols.com/diary/44098/breaking-weld-county-wants-to-secede-yes-really#sthash.7TR5meYW.dpuf

Historical Incidents
On May 14,1870, 46 men working on the railroad were killed by Indians. May 17, 1870, a railroad water tank east of Kit Carson was torn down by Indians. Three companies of U.S. Calvary were stationed at Kit Carson and more sent to be placed under the command of General Custer. Milton H. Straight was hung from the railroad bridge at Kit Carson on July 30, 1870 by a mob of 75 men. On December 7, 1871 Kit Carson was surrounded by thousands of buffalo. Grand Duke Alexis of Russia hunted buffalo in Kit Carson on January 20, 1872. He was the first in the party to kill a buffalo and in his excitement hugged and kissed General Custer, his escort. The regular army stationed 100 men in Kit Carson permanently on March 19, 1872. In 1870, Kit Carson was a boisterous town of saloons, gambling and dance halls. Almost every grown man had two six-shooters hanging from his belt. The town was an important shipping point for cattle in the early 1870’s.

In Kit Carson County, 52 percent of voters directed county commissioners to explore secession and 48 percent voted against. In Washington County, 58 percent were for the initiative and 42 percent against.

Between 1842 and 1854 John C. Frémont, renowned as the nineteenth century’s greatest explorer, and Kit Carson, the legendary scout and Indian fighter, boldly ventured into untamed territory to fulfill America’s “manifest destiny.” Drawing on little-known primary sources, as well as his own travels through the lands Frémont and Carson explored, David Roberts re-creates their expeditions, second in significance only to those of Lewis and Clark. A Newer World is a harrowing narrative of hardship and adventure and a poignant reminder of the cultural tragedy that westward expansion inflicted on the Native American.

http://www.sfgate.com/books/article/Tracking-the-Expeditions-of-John-C-Fremont-and-2776518.php

http://shelledy.mesa.k12.co.us/staff/computerlab/Western_CO_History_Louisiana_Purchase.html

About Royal Rosamond Press

I am an artist, a writer, and a theologian.
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