Came to Believe

Capturing Beauty


After I beheld my beloved sister, Christine Rosamond Benton, in a casket at Paul’s Mortuary, a Dead Artist ceremony was held at the Rosamond Gallery in Carmel. I met three of my living sisters in AA, who told me Christine had one year sobriety – that day! Celebrating your first sober birthday is the most important even in recovery. Rosemary told me there was a party planned at Rocky Point where it is alleged Christine was swept off extremely trecherous rock into the sea, and drowned. Pierrot mentions there was going to be a beach party in Snyder’s ‘When You Close Your Eyes’. All other evidence of this party has been esponged.

I was told not to come to a meeting being held in Christine’s house the day after she drowned by my surviving sister, Vicki, who two weeks later showed Michael Harkins and I a video she and her son, Shamus, took at the place the world famous artist, Rosamond, had a date with Death. My kinfolk find the suede jacket Christine was wearing that cold blustery morning in the ice plants. Vicki said it was there a week, and they wondered how she managed to get it off while strugling in a giant rogue wave that washed the jacket high above the lesser crashing waves, that sprayed this suede leather jacket with sea water – for a week.

At the end of this video, Vicki went into her closet and showed Michael and I this jacket. Michael shot me a glance that told me; “This is bullshit! This jacket was not in the water, because it is in pristine shape!”

Michael was – on the case! Several years earlier he befriended the famous Private Detective, William Linhart who took him under his wing and taught my childhood friend the ropes. Linhart was hired by Caryl Chessman to investigate the most famous criminal case in San Francisco history. As we drove to Christine’s funeral, Michael told me to open the bag that was on the back seat. Inside was a coloring book and crayollas. My PI spoke;

“I am going to help you find the truth. Your job is to stay in the background and do what you do best, make pretty pictures. You are to avoid all conflicts with your family.”

On our way home from the funeral, Michael broke the long silence by saying this;

“Gee, I’ve never been to a theme funeral before “Don’t let the dream die!”

We both began to crack up because I had this theme too, from Stacey Pierrot when she was down on her knees holding my mother’s hand. Michael heard Pierrot say this to several people in the Rosamond gallery as my PI followed her the PR Lady. He too saw her giving members of the inner cricle Rosamond prints down in the basement. PR Pierrot held out a vase of Rosamond’s spendy paint brushes, and said;

“Pick one!”

I went for the juciest, fatest, and costliest one, a sable that cost over a hundred dollars. I was now guilty of stealing from the estate. Only my adult niece and Heir would go to jail, she accused of the same thing.

I then went up to Raphael, my besutfuyl childhood freind, and Christine’s best freind. Raphael had a crush on me since she was fifteen. Christine forbade her to see me.

“Close your eyes. I’m going to paint you!”

Raphael wore a beuatiful smlle as I moved the sble bruch over her high cheek bones, and then over her lips. This was the only glimpse of sanity that day.

The second step in Alcoholics Aanonymous is;

“Came to believe a power greater then ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

When I died in February of 1967, I believe I beheld Heaven and God. I had become insane because I didn’t know why my childhood freind Bill drove on the railroad track in Ogden Utah, turned off his headlihgts, and wating for the frieght train to come round the bend. He came home from work this way, and had encoutned this train before. Did he race it to the crossing? No.

“Michael, I think my family is going to conceal the truth from me, and I will go through again what I went thrugh with Bill’s death. Can you hlp me?”

I got sober in 1987 after Bills sister, Vicki, begged me not to kill myself with alchol, because then she would be all alone in the world with the truths we had just looked at in a black box she found. It was her fathers box. Inside were his notes he made when he went to get his son’s body. He rode in the engine, around that bend.

Christine did a painting title ‘The Crossing’.

“This is how I dealt with Bill’s death!” she told me. She had put herslef in a car on the tracks as a train approach.

Michale Harkins took me to an AA meeting and gave me my One Year coin. The Harkins family was like a family to me. Micahel and I were like brothers. In 1972 he asked me what became of Rena. We had lost track of each other. Micahel suggested I try to find her. I had already looked in the phone books. We then fantsized about a road trip. We talked about taking Michale’s white Bentely to Grand Island. We would get some Italian suits and warap around shades. We would barrow camera equipment. We would pull up to folks at a high schol football game in small towns, and ask some pretty girls this;

“Excuse me. Wer’re look for an extremely beuatiful young woman named Rena. We are from the Vatican, and there is a runor that Jesus had returned as a beautful woman!”

We would film the reactions and show our film at Cannes. I told Micahel I was going to write a book on this topic. The book ‘Holy Blood, Holy Grail would be published in 1986, the year I began ‘Golden Girls of the Corncob’. Micahe and I, Rena, and one of Rena’s beauftufl diciples end up in teh Bently in the middles of a corn field – butt naked – because we rescued Rena from the all feal goddess ritual. We had captured her from the enemy of hetersuxual men.

During the break in my psycic reading, I was downstairs sitting on a sofa, when a woman sat next to me.

“Is it true that I died? Did I go all the way, or was it a near death?”

“You went all the way.” Silence.

“What do you do?” she asked.

“I am a writer.”

“What do you write about?”

“I write………….Spritual Comedies.”


“Your books are being dictated to you by a poweful entity that roams the universe coming to the aid of planets in dire distress!”

This was 1987, before the sries ‘Acient Aliens’. Did I see any evidence of Alien Beings. Yes!. But, I dismissed this because I was a follower of Meher Baba who said there was no such thing as flying sucers. I long wonered if he was – not telling the truth. If so, what would be his motive?

* * *

Yesterday I saw two movied ‘The Adjustment Bearau’ and ‘Cool Blue. There were two very beautiful women in this movie. I had already noted that Emily Blunt looked like Rena who apprahced me at 3:00 A.M. in the morning at the Venice Pier, and asked;

“Can I walk with you!”

“Of course. I was expecting you.”

“What do you mean.”

“I was just on the pier looking down at the crashing waves, asking “Where is she…………the girl of my dreams?”

For the next fifty days I got to behold the most beauful young owman in the world, who lied to me when she said she was eighteen. We were Deisciple to one another. We were Teachers whom God had brought together so that we may know the Greatest Lesson there is to know, that was once taught, in Eden long ago.

I will try over and over again to disribe Rena’s beauty, the awe I felt everytime. Gene Tierney and Rean have that same look. It is Christ-like!

In this life we all have an opprtunity to fall in love with beautful Jesus, but, very few of us are provied the chance to gaze upon such rare beauty, who lets you take a look as long as you want, as long as you can, because she loves you.

Three weeks my daughter and he boyriend called me up and made a powerful case I am utterly insane. They were taking my grandom from me. Heather told me I am in desperate need of help, and if I disagre then I should not be on SSI because I am sane. She said I have unjustlty accused people of things they did not do. I should stop writing lies about people because I am ‘The Parasite’.

The woman Seer who said I had died, said this;

“People come into your being and take, take, take! You are powerless to stop them. I can’t see why?”

I am a Gate. Beyond me, lie Heaven. Even athiests want to glimpse. I was born with the Holy Spirit, and resurected from the Dead by the Holy Spirit. How many of you really want the proof I am telling the truth? How many fear I will, no matter how desperated you are to stop me?

What is ti you want? I wanted the most Beautiful Woma in the world, and no sooner did I ask for this – there she is!

What else do I want? I want the Truth? However, the truth has been captued, and is being held hostage. Who, will pay the ransom?

Jon Presco

In 2006, New York Congressman David Norris runs a campaign for United States Senate that ultimately collapses when photos of Norris mooning his former classmates at a drunken reunion party are splashed all over the New York newspapers. While rehearsing his concession speech in a hotel bathroom, Norris meets a woman hiding in a stall. The two share a surprisingly enjoyable conversation, ultimately leading to a kiss. She was hiding to evade hotel security men (she had dared herself to crash a wedding reception).

“It was a idyllic picture. At Rocky Point, on the Big Sur coast, on
March 26 1994, the afternoon sun hovered low in the sky. On a outcrop
of tumbled rocks, silhoutted against the calm, burnished surface of
the ocean, a 46-year-old woman and her 8-year-old-daughter knelt over
a tidal pool. Dipping into the water, the child’s fingers sent tiny
crabs scuttling, sea anenomes spitting salt water.”

Suede and water are not a good match, especially if the suede is not coated with a fabric protectant. Because of suede’s brushed or raised finish, it is porous and absorbs liquids easily. Liquids can stain and ruin the shape and brushed finish of the suede. Instead of repelling water like leather does, water or other liquids will seep into suede leaving it discolored, dull, matted or even pilled.
A pill, colloquially known as a bobble, is a small ball of fibres that forms on a piece of cloth from wear. Pill is also a verb for the formation of such balls.[1][2]
All fabrics pill to some extent. With weaker fibres the pills fall off, but with stronger fibres the pills remain attached to the fabric.[2][3] Whether a fabric pills or not depends both on the fibre and the preparation. Some fibres, such as cotton, acrylic and wool have a high tendency to pill, whereas other fibres such as polyester, linen and silk do not. In general longer fibres pill less than short ones because there are fewer ends of fibres,[2] and because it is harder for the longer fibres to work themselves out of the cloth.

In 2006, New York Congressman David Norris runs a campaign for United States Senate that ultimately collapses when photos of Norris mooning his former classmates at a drunken reunion party are splashed all over the New York newspapers. While rehearsing his concession speech in a hotel bathroom, Norris meets a woman hiding in a stall. The two share a surprisingly enjoyable conversation, ultimately leading to a kiss. She was hiding to evade hotel security men (she had dared herself to crash a wedding reception).

Aftereffects of Near-death States

This page is also available as a brochure (PDF) suitable for printing and distribution, though generally this page is kept more up-to-date. (Requires Adobe Acrobat Reader which is available for free download.)
• Pattern of Aftereffects
• Major Characteristics of Psychological Changes
• Major Characteristics of Physiological Changes
• Helpful Notes
• Helpful Books
Pattern of Aftereffects
Around eighty percent of the people who experienced near-death states claimed that their lives were forever changed by what happened to them. On closer examination, though, a pattern of surprising dimensions emerged. Experiencers were not returning with just a renewed zest for life and a more spiritual outlook. They were evidencing specific psychological and physiological differences on a scale never before faced by them. And this was true with child experiencers, as well as with teenagers and adults.
Various researchers have attempted to profile these changes over the years. Even without the necessary funding to do clinical studies, most feel that enough research has been done to justify acknowledging the aftereffects pattern and making information about it available. Knowing what is typical for experiencers should help to alleviate any worry or confusion not only for the individual involved—but for family and friends, as well as health-care professionals and the community at-large.
The pattern of aftereffects from near-death states can best be understood if considered under the separate headings of major characteristics of psychological and physiological changes. Details and explanations follow:
Major Characteristics of Psychological Changes
Loss of the fear of death, more spiritual and less religious, easily engage in abstract thinking, more philosophical, can go through various bouts with depression, more generous and charitable than before, form expansive concepts of love while at the same time challenged to initiate and maintain satisfying relationships, “inner child” or unresolved issues from childhood tend to surface, less competitive, convinced of a life purpose, rejection of previous limitations in life and “normal” role-playing, heightened sensations of taste-touch-texture-smell, increased intuitive/psychic abilities plus the ability to know or “re-live” the future, charismatic, a child-like sense of wonder and joy, less stressed, more detached and objective, can continue to dissociate or “separate” from the body, easily absorbed (“merge into” whatever is focused on), hunger for knowledge and learning, highly curious.
• Near-death experiencers come to love and accept others without the usual attachments and conditions society expects. They perceive themselves as equally and fully loving of each and all, openly generous, excited about the potential and wonder of each person they see. Their desire is to be a conduit of universal love. Confused family members tend to regard this sudden switch in behavior as oddly threatening, as if their loved one had become aloof, unresponsive, even uncaring and unloving. Some mistake this “unconditional” way of expressing joy and affection (heart-centered rather than person-centered) as flirtatious disloyalty. Divorce can result.
• One of the reasons life seems so different afterward is because the experiencer now has a basis of comparison unknown before. Familiar codes of conduct can lose relevance or disappear altogether as new interests take priority. Such a shift in reference points can lead to a childlike naivete. With the fading of previous norms and standards, basic caution and discernment can also fade. It is not unusual to hear of near-death experiencers being cheated, lied to, or involved in unpleasant mishaps and accidents. Once they are able to begin integrating what happened to them, discernment usually returns.
• Most experiencers develop a sense of timelessness. They tend to “flow” with the natural shift of light and dark, and display a more heightened awareness of the present moment and the importance of being “in the now.” Making future preparations can seem irrelevant to them. This behavior is often labeled “spaciness” by others, who do their best to ignore the change in perception, although seldom do they ignore the shift in speech. That’s because many experiencers refer to their episode as if it were a type of “divider” separating their “former” life from the present one.
• There’s no denying that experiencers become quite intuitive afterward. Psychic displays can be commonplace, such as: out-of-body episodes, manifestation of “beings” met in near-death state, “remembering” the future, finishing another’s sentence, “hearing” plants and animals “speak.” This behavior is not only worrisome to relatives and friends, it can become frightening to them. A person’s religious beliefs do not alter or prevent this amplification of faculties and stimuli. Yet, experiencers willing to learn how to control and refine these abilities, consider them beneficial.
• Life paradoxes begin to take on a sense of purpose and meaning, as forgiveness tends to replace former needs to criticize and condemn. Hard driving achievers and materialists can transform into easy-going philosophers; but, by the same token, those more relaxed or uncommitted before can become energetic “movers and shakers,” determined to make a difference in the world. Personality reversals seem to depend more on what’s “needed” to round out the individual’s inner growth than on any uniform outcome. Although initially bewildered, families can be so impressed by what they witness that they, too, change-making the experience a “shared event.”
• The average near-death experiencer comes to regard him or herself as “an immortal soul currently resident within a material form so lessons can be learned while sojourning in the earthplane.” They now know they are not their body; many go on to embrace the theory of reincarnation. Eventually, the present life, the present body, becomes important and special again.
• What was once foreign becomes familiar, what was once familiar becomes foreign. Although the world is the same, the experiencer isn’t. Hence, they tend to experiment with novel ways to communicate, even using abstract and grandiose terms to express themselves. With patience and effort on everyone’s part, communication can improve and life can resume some degree of routine. But, the experiencer seems ever to respond to a “tune” no one else can hear (this can continue lifelong).
Major Characteristics of Physiological Changes
Altered thought-processing (switch from sequential/ selective thinking to clustered thinking: thoughts bunch together/ideas pop up), comfortable with ambiguity, heightened intelligence, more creative and inventive, unusual sensitivity to light and sound, substantially more or less energy (even energy surges in body, ofttimes more sexual), reversal of body clock, lower blood pressure, accelerated metabolic and substance absorption rates (decreased tolerance of pharmaceuticals and chemically treated products), often turn to alternative healthcare treatments, electrical sensitivity, synesthesia (multiple sensing), increased allergies or sensitivities, can possess ability to heal, a preference for more vegetables and grains (less of meat), physically younger looking (before and after photos can differ).
• Sensitivity to light and sound can be a serious issue and may necessitate some lifestyle changes. While most experiencers learn to limit sunshine exposure, others can’t get enough. Almost everyone, though, has similar difficulties with loud or discordant sounds. Many can no longer tolerate “hard” rock music. The vast majority prefer classical, melodic, and/or natural sounds, and become passionate about using music to heal.
• Energy surges up and down the body happen to many, and can be accompanied by “lights” in the air. Researchers usually regard this as the release of “kundalini” (a Sanskrit term meaning “coiled energy at the base of the spine”). Supposedly, kundalini energy and spiritual energy are one in the same, yet the theory behind this idea remains unproven. To keep in formed about ongoing research, contact Kundalini Research Network, c/o Dale Pond, R#5, Flesherton, Ontario, NOC IEO Canada.
• Electrical sensitivity refers to a condition whereby the forcefield or energy around an individual affects nearby electrical equipment and technological devices. Usually sporadic in effect and impact, some experiencers have noticed: watches can stop, microphones “squeal,” tape recorders quit, television channels change with no one at controls, light bulbs pop, telephone “drops off,” computers suddenly lose memory, and so forth. Experiencers more at ease with their new traits report fewer of these incidents than those still in the process of making adjustments.
• Physical differences, along with attitudinal changes, eventually lead experiencers to alter their approach to health and healing, employment, finances, lifestyle and relationship issues. Many say that it’s almost as if they have to relearn how to use their own body and brain. Once adjustments are made, the majority come to live healthy, productive lives that are happier, more spiritually-oriented and energetic than before. To deny or repress the aftereffects seems to leave individuals feeling somehow “incomplete,” and can foster unwanted “breakthroughs” years later.
Aftereffects cannot be faked. Nor can you hide your response to the way they affect you (whether you realize what you are doing or not).
You may be able to delay their onset or lessen the impact they have, but you cannot pretend away the complex and life-altering potential they bring.
Irrespective of any drama brought on by near-death states, what happens afterward is where true value and real meaning are established.
Helpful Notes
It is possible to have near-death-like experiences without the threat of impending physical death. Children, for instance, can have death dreams that are unusually powerful. Adults can emerge unscathed from mishap, or find themselves slipping into a different meditative state, only to discover later on “they have changed.” If a genuine case, the individual will exhibit the same pattern of aftereffects as a near-death experiencer.
Adjusting to the aftereffects takes time. The first three years tend to be the most confusing, almost as if the individual isn’t “fully back.” Experiencers and their families are urged to attend or start a local IANDS group, and to read the following books for indepth research studies about aftereffects.

If you have had a distressing near-death experience, or know someone who has, or even have merely heard of the phenomenon, you’re probably interested to know more about such experiences. This page will provide basic information and will direct you to additional resources on the subject.
What is a Distressing Near-Death Experience?
Near-death experiences (NDEs) are often profound psychospiritual events. Most near-death experiencers (NDErs) report that their experience was dominated by pleasurable feelings such as peace, joy, and bliss. However, less commonly, some NDErs have reported that their experience was dominated by distressing, emotionally painful feelings such as fear, terror, horror, anger, loneliness, isolation, and/or guilt.
Greyson and Bush (1996) classified 50 reports of distressing NDEs into three types:
• The most common type included the same features as the pleasurable type such as an out-of-body experience and rapid movement through a tunnel or void toward a light but the NDEr, usually because of feeling out of control of what was happening, experienced the features as frightening.
• The second, less common type included an acute awareness of nonexistence or of being completely alone forever in an absolute void. Sometimes the person received a totally convincing message that the real world including themselves never really existed.
• The third and rarest type included hellish imagery such as an ugly or foreboding landscape; demonic beings; loud, annoying noises; frightening animals; and other beings in extreme distress. Only rarely have such NDErs themselves felt personally tormented.
Rommer (2000) speculated a fourth type, the rarest of all, in which the NDEr feels negatively judged by a Higher Power during their NDE life review in which, typically, the experiencer re-views and re-experiences every moment of their life. This latter type of distressing NDE contrasts sharply with the life review that sometimes occurs in a pleasurable NDE. In the predominantly pleasurable experience, the NDEr feels absolutely loved even as they re-view and re-experience the most unloving actions they committed during their lives. During this process, the NDEr typically is simultaneously themself and each person with whom they interacted. Thus, in the pleasurable NDE, the NDEr experiences what it was to have been on the receiving end of their actions and, typically, experiences profound regret and/or guilt, but within a larger context of being unconditionally loved. In the distressing NDE, by contrast, the NDEr only feels negatively judged
• Someone who had a lifelong pattern of using emotional isolation to avoid being rejected by others, may have a distressing NDE of the eternal void, in which he realized that profound, endless isolation is not what he really wants. Afterwards, he may develop his ability to be emotionally vulnerable to others, to deal with the occasional disappointments that such vulnerability brings, and to enjoy the frequent rewards of connecting intimately with others.
• Another distressing NDEr may report that in her NDE, she engaged in a life-and-death struggle with a demonic being; for the first time in her life, she genuinely called out to God for help; and for the first time she experienced the genuine presence of, and communion with, God.

Read more: How Does Suede React to Water? |

Suede is the perfect fabric for fall and winter. It looks great, feels great and is typically heavier than your summer clothes. However, suede can be difficult to deal with, especially when it gets wet. Luckily, a lot of companies are producing a washable suede, but if you still have a suede item that can be water damaged, it is easy to protect by following these suggestions.

About Royal Rosamond Press

I am an artist, a writer, and a theologian.
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