The All Nude Woman Pastor

The Royal Janitor

Minsiter, Gunka Woggbottom , wanted to debate Reverend Eve Star, something bad, but she said he was not her equal.

Dr. Gunka is not that knowable about the Bible. This is why he resorts to gimmicks, such as using a blowtorch to destroy Disney images he titles the ‘Adam and Eve of Wokism’, He’s very immature.”

“But, what about your gimmick?: prods John Presco of Royal Rosamond Press.

“You speak of my nudity, that at one time was total. As you know I open my sermon with a painting of Eve – that was in a church – or, owned by a church leader. usually a royal. I have located 978 of these holy images, that for a fig leaf here and there, they are totally nude.”

“You are wearing a fig leaf now. I found an old ad where you advertise.”

“ALL NUDE! ALL DAY! HEY! HEY1 WHAT DO YOU SAY!”

“I was all nude – most of the day – when my Church of The Creator Eve was in an old hotel ballroom in Venice California. I didn’t wear a stich. I was inspired. When we started video taping my sermons, the camer guy tried not have a wandering eye.! He was….tempted!”

“Yes, I have seen those very grainy videos that your first followers cherish. They claim you have changed, and your message has become, weakened, deliberately made, faint. They say your Creation Story – has disappeared. Why don’t you tell this story.”

“One reason….they will kill me, if I do!”

“Who will kill you?”

“Well, Dr. Gunka Woggbottom, who descends from the famous Purtian Minsiter, John Wilson who persecuted women, and, the radical ‘Make Alaska Russian Again’ militia who have followers in the United States!”

“Can you give me a clue?”

“If you read your Bible, you will see that God is completely surprised Adam and Eve have a child. This began a schism in Judaism, that was allegedly solved by the invention of King David who fucks everything that moves, and, from him spring Jesus, who doesn’t fuck anyone. They say he died a virgin on the cross. I don’t buy it! There these genealogies in the New Testament. Why?

John felt, flushed. He was blushing, and, he was afraid. He did not feel safe around Eve Star, as she was now called.

“Now you got me riled up. Come to Star Ship by the Sea Church of the Creator Eve, tonight. I will repeat my forbidden sermon of…..Good and Evil! We are located where the Venice Pier used to be!”

“Is this a photograph of you?” asked Mr. Presco.

“Yes. Yes it is! Where did you get it.? You do know I’m a mathematic genius. I invented AI Drone Warfare as it is today. I was a killer, a destroyer, until I saw the light! I sent this pic to my wife. Did she give it to you?”

“What is your wife’s name?”

“I swore I would tell the truth while in the world.. Her name is……Victoria Bond. She is the granddaughter of James, James….Bond!”

Continued

https://www.cnn.com/style/article/eve-art-pop-culture-artsy

Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, oil painting by Titian, c. 1550; in the Prado, Madrid.

“Adam and Eve” (2015) by David LaChapelle Maruani Mercier gallery

In the Middle Ages, St. Bernard of Clairvaux sermonized to rapt audiences of men and women that Eve was “the original cause of all evil, whose disgrace has come down to all other women.” More recently, at a legislative dinner in 2015, South Carolina Senator Tom Corbin was confronted for his combative remarks about women’s right to participate in the state’s General Assembly. “Well, you know God created man first,” he quipped. “Then he took the rib out of man to make woman. And you know, a rib is a lesser cut of meat.”

From these rigid perspectives, Eve is one-dimensional: inherently wicked and an afterthought to Adam. Yet across popular culture and the history of art, Eve appears as a paradox. She is guileful and naive, earth mother and fatal seductress; she is the problem of man, his downfall, his eternal scapegoat.

Related articleA brief history of female rage in art

Such depictions have structured our ideas of beauty, gender, and morality. The oldest conceptions of Eve play out again and again in all reaches of contemporary culture. A judiciously placed apple in a woman’s hand in art, advertising, or film can immediately invoke Eve’s devious sexuality, and still other references abound. The Handmaid’s Tale (2017–ongoing), adapted by Hulu from Margaret Atwood’s dystopian novel, features a young, religious character named Eden, who is expected to help repopulate the country. By the same token, in Pixar’s animated children’s movie WALL-E (2008), the title robot meets a fellow android who has come to bring new human life to Earth. Her name? EVE.

Paintings of Eve in churches often carry a multi-layered meaning within the context of Christian theology and art. 

Here’s a breakdown of common interpretations:

• Theological Narrative:
  • The Fall of Man: Eve’s action of partaking in the forbidden fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, as depicted in the Book of Genesis, led to the loss of innocence and the introduction of sin into the world.
  • Temptation and Disobedience: Eve’s susceptibility to the serpent’s temptation and her subsequent disobedience is a key element of the story, serving as a cautionary tale about the consequences of straying from divine commands.
  • Mother of All Living: Despite her role in the Fall, Eve is also recognized as the “mother of all living” according to Genesis 3:20. This highlights her essential role in humanity’s propagation and God’s continued plan for redemption through her lineage.
• Symbolic Representation:
  • Prefigurement of Mary: In Christian tradition, Eve is sometimes seen as a prefigurement of the Virgin Mary, who is referred to as the “Second Eve”. This connection emphasizes Mary’s role in bringing forth Jesus Christ, who ultimately overcomes the consequences of the Fall.
  • Humanity’s Journey: The story of Eve can symbolize humanity’s journey from a state of innocence to one of moral awareness, and the ongoing struggle with temptation and the pursuit of redemption.
• Artistic Depiction:
  • Nudity and Shame: Artists often depict Eve naked before the Fall to represent innocence, but after eating the fruit, they show her experiencing shame and attempting to cover herself with fig leaves.
  • Serpent as Temptress: The serpent in the Garden is sometimes portrayed with a woman’s face, linking Eve directly with the seductive nature of temptation. 

It is important to remember that interpretations of Eve and her story can be complex and have evolved over time within Christian thought and society. Some interpretations, particularly historically, have been criticized for their negative portrayal of women and their connection to Eve. However, other interpretations emphasize Eve’s role in God’s plan and her importance as the first mother of humanity, according to biblestudytoolbox.com.