Her Man

Her Man

by

John Presco

Humphry Skittlesworth 955 worked at the Gold Phone company assembling microchips. A drug was invented that puts him in a half-coma state – with intense powers of concentration! If he was aware of what he was doing, he would freak out, thus, workers go to the cold room before they go home. Very little of what they did that day, remains.

At home, Humphry got in his computer and tried to memorize his wedding vows that were the standard. A woman who operated a Abuser site in Eugene Oregon came up with these vows, in a moment of pure inspiration – that turned the tables on Mankind. Today, all men are Born Abusers whose feelings can not be trusted, so, they are not allowed any. They are bid to keep their mouth shut, and open their legs. Being a breeder provider, Humphry is expected to give his chosen wife two children, and then…..disappear, Where Used Husbands go, is not known, and a quasi-religion has sprung up.

Humpfry is bein distracted by the incredible news. Trillionaire Cezil Wogbottom tricked the President of the United states to come aboard one of his spaces ships. And, jumping down a escape tube, Cezil shot President Franky Wanky- into deep space, where there is NO HOPE of him being rescued. There was enough food, water , and air, to keep Wanky alive for twenty days

Cezillwas in a deep bunker while the military tried to get through twenty feet of Krell metal. This would take twenty days. The world was treated to the most profane raging. These two frothed at the mouth. They texted each other – till their fingers bled.

…..

Let the ceremony begin!

He victim-blamed for my previous abusers. He was extremely critical of me. He would start arguments over why I wasn’t reading his blog or asking him questions about music, which chair I picked to sit in at a restaurant, how long I was upset about things, the fact that I didn’t let him yell at me while I was crying without standing up for myself because he “just needed to let his emotions out”, etc… 

Are you being treated well in your relationship?

Most people know that getting physically hurt is abusive. Being pushed, shoved, grabbed, shaken, slapped, and kicked is clearly abusive in any context. Many abusers do not use these behaviors because they know they couldn’t get away with it. But more subtle emotionally abusive behaviors are equally damaging, although they can sometimes be harder to define.

Here are some concrete examples of things abusive partners might do. An abuser might do some or many of the following things:

– They frequently push or question your boundaries. They call you selfish for putting your needs first. You say you have time to see them a certain number of nights a week and they make you feel guilty for setting a boundary.

– They have double standards or keep inconsistent demands. Your partner is free to voice their opinion or emotions without ridicule but you aren’t comfortable freely expressing the way you feel.

– They can’t handle you being better than them at anything or having a different opinion about something. They frequently tell you what to think or what the best decision for you would be. They may say they know you better than you know yourself.

– They have contradictory or unpredictable expectations, “keeping you on your toes” about how to behave. For example, one month they say you are “smothering” them and the next month you are “isolating” them.

– They make you feel humiliated. They laugh at you or tell you that you look cute when you are angry or trying to be taken seriously.

– They are unable to handle you having a disagreement or different opinion. They keep you up all night and don’t let you sleep until you agree with them or say that you were wrong.

– They excessively text you or keep tabs on you by calling, texting, or with their physical presence. They show up at your house, or need to know what you are doing or who you are with at all times.

– They refuse to respect your identity. They refuse to call you by the names or pronouns you want them to, or they tell you that you aren’t a “real” woman or man, or that you aren’t “femme” or “butch” enough to identify the way you do, or ridicule your physical appearance, or your ability to pass.

– They complain about previous partners or compare you to past partners in positive or negative ways to hold you to a particular standard. They may criticize a previous partner for not engaging in sex often enough, adding “I’m so glad you’re not like that”, and making you feel pressured to uphold that statement.

– They have to approve your friends or dictate who you can see and when.You may not be allowed to talk to certain people. They may act so rude or embarrassing, or “bad mouth” them that you find it is easier to just not see your friends and/or family anymore.

– They use jealousy as an excuse for controlling your actions or demanding your constant attention. They tell you they are controlling or demanding because they care about you so much.

– They demand or guilt you into sexual activity when it is inconvenient for you or when you just don’t feel like it. They act like you “owe” them sex, or that they have a right to demand sex and your body.

– They make you feel guilty for changing your mind, having your own opinion, or wanting to do something on your own.

– They don’t respect your privacy. For example, they insist that you share all of your thoughts or feelings with them, or expect you to let them look through your phone, email, or facebook and get upset or pout when you tell them you can’t.

to be continued…

What does it feel like to be abused?

– You may feel like something is wrong in your relationship but you can’t put your finger on it or name it.

– You might feel like you are apologizing all the time, even if you aren’t always sure what for. You may feel guilty all the time, like you can never seem to give your partner enough attention.

– You have generalized self doubt, uncertainty, and a reluctance to come to conclusions.

– You are constantly “walking on eggshells” or policing your own behavior to make sure that your partner isn’t going to get angry, irritated, jealous, or pout.

– You are constantly reviewing past “incidences” with your partner to figure out what you did wrong.

– You feel like it is your job to keep your partner happy. They need constant nurturing and attention, or they start to pout and get irritated with you. They might whine or burst into tears all the time when they aren’t getting exactly what they want.

– You feel like you can’t trust your own feelings, emotions, or personal beliefs. You feel like your partner understands you better than you do. You may second guess if what you are feeling is real or not.

–You are concerned that something is wrong with you, that you can’t do anything right. You feel like everything you say will be misconstrued or turned against you, that you are crazy or too sensitive.

Submit a photo (scroll down for link) or first and last name with a description of someone who has been abusive by committing emotional, verbal, mental, sexual, or physical violence in the Lane County area. 

Descriptions of the abusive incidences are encouraged, but not required. Identifying information like where they work, go to school, or places they frequent (like bars or coffee shops) are also optional. 

Please do not submit someone else’s story unless you have permission to do so by the person who survived the abuse. 

Tag each post with the first and/or last name of the abuser so that posts are searchable.

Our goal is to provide info about abusers in the area in one, easily accessible place. If you think someone may be abusing you, you can look up their name and see if others have reported them. If someone has abused you, you can submit the information to warn others. (It is always a personal choice to out an abuser but a victim is in no way obligated to do so.)

We live in a relatively small community. Together we can keep each other safer and hold abusers accountable.

This is a trust based list. NEVER dispute an accusation, NEVER falsely accuse someone. You may decide for yourself how to interpret the information provided here.

If you would like to submit anonymously, let us know in your submission and we will omit your identity before publishing.

Very emotionally abusive, manipulative, and a gaslighter (someone who tells you you’re crazy and can’t trust your own memory about the abuse) Last I knew worked at the University of Oregon chem lab in Hall A member of Samba Ja 

When I would tell him something he did that upset me, sometimes he would reply “No, YOU did that to ME”. And when I disputed it he told me I was a “pathological liar”. And when I disputed that he said I wouldn’t know it because I so in denial that I believed my own lies. 

He came into my bedroom and screamed at me for leaving during an argument. When I tried to tell him to leave, stop yelling, and not to talk to me that way he yelled over me several times to “shut the fuck up” and called me a bitch a few times until I just sat there listening quietly as he screamed and verbally abused me. Then he got in bed with me and when I told him to get out he ignored me. He regularly would refuse to leave my bed after yelling at me. One time he laughed at me as I cried and begged him to leave. He called me psycho, crazy, abusive, and a sociopath. He wouldn’t leave until I threatened to call the police. And then later he blamed me for the whole incident, something he routinely did. 

He victim-blamed for my previous abusers. He was extremely critical of me. He would start arguments over why I wasn’t reading his blog or asking him questions about music, which chair I picked to sit in at a restaurant, how long I was upset about things, the fact that I didn’t let him yell at me while I was crying without standing up for myself because he “just needed to let his emotions out”, etc… 

He was not cooperative about my desire to use condoms, saying his pleasure was equally important as my fear of STIs, pregnancy, and my bad reaction to birth control pills. He frequently questioned me about my sexual boundaries saying I was “topping from the bottom” by telling him what I wanted and that if I truly wanted to do a BDSM thing it should be about what he wanted, not me. 

He frequently changed his mind about polyamory in our relationship, starting out very small and then slowly over the course of a year or so, saying he wanted a no boundaries type of polyamorous relationship, painting himself as a victim when I didn’t want that. He also said he didn’t want to sleep with other people unless we weren’t getting along which made me be more silent about his abuse. 

He let himself in my house, drunk, at 5am, unbeknownst to me. He took a shower, and bled all over my bathroom. Then he let himself into my bedroom scaring the crap out of me and attempted to get in my bed. When I got up for work, I found an empty purse he brought in with nothing but a broken beer bottle in it. He said he didn’t remember what happened.

 Amateur photographer who goes by name of “aikidojones”. Teaches martial arts. Pathological liar. Uses his photography and so-called “progressive” view of feminism and gender roles to seduce girls. He uses his childhood abuse experiences as an excuse to be emotionally abusive and lies about his unsafe sexual practices.