I got on a list to recieve Lara Roozemond’s poetry. One she sent me inspired me to create her first boyfriend. They came close to making love, but, she found him irritating.Within an hour of watching her wife betray her on Cox News – he calls!
“This is Karl Theodor Maria Georg Achaz Eberhardt Josef Freiherr von und Guttenberg the Third. Remember me?”
“How could I forget. One of your ancestors wrote a famous Bible. Is there still – not one religious bone in your body!:”
“Of course!”
“Good! Let’s dine. I watched your video the other day, Perhaps we can go riding.”
JRP
The Austrian Irritant
Posted on April 24, 2018 by Royal Rosamond Press
This is the poem that sold me on Lara as an actress and character. It’s called ‘Date’. Lara Roozemond does such a good job of telling her side of the date, it made me wonder about the other half. The Austrian equestrian champion later appeared. They will go on several dates all through the movie. Rather than see James Bond being suave while he lures yet another Beauty into his bed, all Victoria’s dates – with him – end badly.
The Royal Janitor
Victoria’s Austrian Prince, as she now called him, after he danced around his family tree, trying not to drop names (but he failed miserably) …… took his date to a very fancy French restaurant in London. Once seated, Lara was surprised he did not take off his hat.
“It’s not required of men of my station. Haven’t you seen other men of my ilk wearing – their hats?”
“No. I don’t recall that I have!”
“Exactly. That’s because we are not that plentiful, and, you have not been to the best restaurants. Aren’t you going to pick up your menu? Would you like me to order – for you?”
“Do you have a pen? I want to jot down this poem – while its fresh in my mind.”
“Of course I do. But, be gentle with it. The nub is made of pure gold! It belonged to the King of Luxemburg.”
The Prince winced when Victoria grabbed his Belgium linen napkin, and began to scrub the contents of his pen starting next to the restaurant’s monogram stitched by the sacred Widows of Malta. He tried to say something, but, Victoria raised her hand.
“Ah! Ah! Ah! – Ah!”
Now he let out a moan.
Victoria has gotten down on her stomach. Her calves were raised, and her ankles, crossed. Her evening dress has fallen, and her thighs, are exposed. The patrons are doing their best to ignore her. The Duke of Rose, is amused, while The Prince is ringing Victoria’s napkin, it all he can do to not rise out of his chair – and shout at her!
“Alright!” Victoria cried, and stood up. “Nailed it. I wrote this poem – for you!”
Turning, she sees her Prince – is gone! She looks down and sees her twisted napkin – with an angry knot in it.
“Shoot!” Victoria said with a sigh, and looks at the flayed wings of the nub.
“Darn!”
I find you irritating
I have no control over myself
V E R D W I J N
but not too long
you also like
But of course I will not say that
do not really just expose myself
I just put a mask on my head
and hope that this feeling stops automatically
I think your eyes are beautiful
You’re making me goddamn nervous
I find you dead scary
so I change into a bitch
and go hit with a hockey stick
just so that I am afraid of you
Ok that was for the fun
your presence simply breeds with my brain
Sigh
I feel like I am fleeing myself
Do you also have an off button?
I put that to you
Can I think quietly
and to fill myself with wine
Look, I think you’re sweet
am only very selective
So leave me alone
maybe I want you to kiss me
I think you are pretty
what a cunt
No idea what I feel
do not always look so sultry
I do not want to see you anymore
Pick me up tomorrow at half past nine.
Rosamond Press 
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