Mon Chauffer! Mon Muse!
by
John Presco
Copyright 2023
If anyone was born to wear a chauffer’s hat, it is Lara Roozemond – my muse! I used her (without her permission) as my model for Victoria Rosemond Bond. I informed her of this on her Facebook. She asked me not to post my rubbish on her page. She did not ask me to desist!
Once again, I capture this beauty and carry her away to one of my castles I made a claim against several years ago. How beastly of me! After posting on Karl Schwarzenberg and the Rosemondt family of Holland, yesterday, I took a break from designing Small Homes, and Googled “Homes for sale Czech Republic, and am in shock. I’m beholding the billiards table to die for! A tiny hoe could be placed atop it. But, right away I lament having my big rich dream, because, I have no one to play pool with. If somehow I had the good fortune to own this grand estate, I would die of loneliness in a couple of weeks! Help! I need somebody! Not just anybody. Ms. Roozemond is the one – again!
Right away I put a chauffer’s hat on Roozemond, and it is like a glass slipper. I knew what photo of her I had in my file that would do the trick! In the pics above is our story! Lara has resigned herself to her fate. Her life has not turned out the way she envisioned. She will not be a Dutch Movie Star, after having minor success as a model. But, her salad days as a skinny Euro-Teen Runaway Model are behind her. Putting an ad on the Euro-Us, she went fishing for a new look, a new career. Roozemond checked the box, Chauffer: and was amazed she got a call in forty-eight hours..
“What size clothes do you wear. I want to see if you have the right stuff. Come to my castle tomorrow!” At noon!”
When Jon Von Prescowitz answered his own door to the incredibly impressive manor, Lara wondered if he couldn’t afford a maid, or butler. Many Noble and Royal folks were piss-poor, they losing their fine estates due to the up-keep.
“Here, try this on. The small room is over there.”
“The small room?”
“The bathroom. I call it the small room because the bathroom is too sharp of a word.
“O.K. Whatever!”
When Lara emerged, she had become leery of what was expected of her. Not liking the white shirt, Jon had her put on the pen-striped shirt, and unbutton most of the buttons, exposing half of her small breasts.
“Perfect! I love it Now put on those black boots!”
Lara lowered her eyes and was in deep thought. Maybe she could stand to make love to Mr. Prescowitz, but only once a month. That’s twelve times a year. But, she was not that kind of girl – woman1
“Look, Jon…”
“Call me Jonny!”
“O.K. – Jonny! I want this job, But I don’t want any funny stuff. I know Judo and Tai-Chi. If you make a move on me, I will flip you on your neck! You will not be able to move after that because you will have a broken neck! Savvy!”
“Go look in the mirror, and then out that window at – YOUR NEW CAR! You are perfect for the job. I wanted a bodyguard as well. I’ve come into some property, that is out of this world. My kin, Karl Schwarzenberg died twenty days ago, and the Czech Republic gave me most of the castles Karel owned, including Krumlov. They had wanted them off their hands for many reasons. One was the cost of up-keep. I was very poor. Then I bought a lottery ticket and won $750,000,000 million dollars!
Lara pulled back the curtain, and gasped when she saw her Porsche Pandera!
“You must be The Luckiest Man In The World!”
“Only if you accept my job offer. I am not after your body. I am beyond that. I may be enlightened. I grew up in Oakland California. I have been poor all my life. Now, I have it all. All I want is to be around you. You inspire me. I want to go back to – my art! I need a Muse – a Bad Ass Muse! Some of my childhood friends became Hell’s Angels. Have you seen the movie ‘The Wild One’ , I suggest you watch it by the end of this day. You have – The Brando Look! Yes I want you to wear that shirt – open! I want to see wealthy Euro-Heads turn when you get out of the Porsche and open the door for me. You will have – The Euro-Peek-A–Boob look – down pat!. I want you to practice giving – The Perfect Badass Euro Look. No one will fuck with you – fuck with us. The Bad Ones will want to emulate us, because we will have – what they want!”
Lara looked at herself in the mirror – and smiled! Adjusting her open shirt, she loved the Euro-Peek-a-Boob look. She now saw her small breasts as her greatest asset. If they were bigger, or smaller, this look would not be – just right! How did he know?
“Now, lets go buy you a horse to go with my stables. You can practice getting in and out of your car, and giving dirty looks out the widow.”
As Lara was about to press the key that opened the door to her Dream Car, Jon interrupted.
“Oh! And one more thing. I want you to get a chauffer’s license under the name
Jeanette-Baptiste Bernadotte Rosemond
“I will call you – Jeannette. Jon and Jeanette. You see I am a historian. I owned a lot of history before I really owned a lot of history.! We are in a position to make a lot of history. You and me – kid!”
Sitting in the leather seat, that wrapped her in a cocoon of totally cool luxury, Jenette put her leather boots on the pedals. What is going on? I know I did not give Jon my shoe size. Jenette revved the engine, then – punched it! Jon was pushed back in his seat as the Porsche dug it’s tires into the gravel driveway, spitting gravel at Jon’s new home. One piece broke the basement window of the maid’s room, that was supposed to have been vacated before the villa went up for sale. So much for perfection. Perfection is fleeting! Jeannette’s first job as bodyguard, would be to evict The Squatter1
John let out a whoop as the Pandera found real good traction on the asphalt, and buried a swath of black rubber twenty meters down the once perfect country road!
“You are my Marshall1 together – we will conquer the world! Yeeeee-haw!
When Count Lobcowitz came upon the ugly rubber tracks on the road to his estate, he hit the breaks to his Bentley, got out – and fumed!
“This is….war!” he muttered softly. then, he made Euro-calls.
To be continued!
This was the fantasy I began on November 29, 2023. At 9:34 P.M., I discover Karel Schwarzenberg – had died on November 11th. I had been looking at Karl Schwarzenberg and Jean-Baptiste Jules Bernadotte defeating Napoleon at the Battle of Leipzig. This Victory was omitted in the movie..
Napoleon
It is my family………history!
Bernadotte as Crown Prince, painting by Fredric Westin
My Kin – Karel Schwarzenberg – Is Dead
Posted on November 30, 2023 by Royal Rosamond Press
At 9:34 P.M. I discovered my alleged kin, Karel Schwarzenberg, died on November 11, 2023. I was researching our illustrious kin, Karl Schwarzenberg, who defeated Napoleon. I am the Family Historian. I care about about our ancestors, our history, and the fate of the Czech Republic from where my Presco ancestors, hail. I just posted on him.
John Presco
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063478955084
Karl Philipp, Fürst zu Schwarzenberg (or Charles Philip, Prince of Schwarzenberg; 18/19 April 1771 – 15 October 1820) was an Austrian Generalissimo and former Field Marshal.[1] He first entered military service in 1788 and fought against the Turks. During the French Revolutionary War, he fought on the allied side against France and in that period rose through the ranks of the Imperial Army. During the Napoleonic Wars, he fought in the Battle of Wagram (1809), which the Austrians lost decisively against Napoleon. He had to fight for Napoleon in the Battle of Gorodechno (1812) against the Russians and won. During the War of the Sixth Coalition, he was in command of the allied army that decisively defeated Napoleon in the Battle of Leipzig (1813). He participated in the Battle of Paris (1814), which forced Napoleon to abdicate.
Karel Schwarzenberg, Renegade Czech Prince and Politician, Dies at 85
Popular with the Czech public for quietly subverting the aristocracy, he served twice as foreign minister and ran for president in 2013.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_XIV_John
Charles XIV John (Swedish: Karl XIV Johan; 26 January 1763 – 8 March 1844) was King of Sweden and Norway from 1818 until his death in 1844 and the first monarch of the Bernadotte dynasty. In Norway, he is known as Charles III John (Norwegian: Karl III Johan) and before his reign, he was called Jean-Baptiste Jules Bernadotte.[1] During the Napoleonic Wars, he participated in several battles as a Marshal of France.
Born in Pau in southern France, Bernadotte joined the French Royal Army in 1780. Following the outbreak of the French Revolution, he exhibited great military talent, rapidly rising through the ranks, and was made a brigadier general by 1794. He served with distinction in Italy and Germany, and was briefly Minister of War. His relationship with Napoleon was turbulent; nevertheless, Napoleon named him a Marshal of the Empire on the proclamation of the French Empire. Bernadotte played a significant role in the French victory at Austerlitz, and was made Prince of Pontecorvo as a reward. Bernadotte was, through marriage to Désirée Clary, brother-in-law to Joseph Bonaparte, and thus a member of the extended Imperial family.
In 1810, Bernadotte was unexpectedly elected the heir-presumptive (Crown Prince) to the childless King Charles XIII of Sweden, thanks to the advocacy of Baron Carl Otto Mörner, a Swedish courtier and obscure member of the Riksdag of the Estates.[2] He assumed the name Charles John and was named regent, and generalissimo of the Swedish Armed Forces, soon after his arrival becoming de facto head of state for most of his time as Crown Prince. In 1812, following the sudden unprovoked French invasion of Swedish Pomerania, Crown Prince Charles John was instrumental in the creation of the Sixth Coalition by allying with Alexander I of Russia and using Swedish diplomacy to bring warring Russia and Britain together in alliance.[3][4] He then played a major role in the writing of the Trachenberg Plan, the war-winning Allied campaign plan, and commanded the Allied Army of the North that defeated two concerted French attempts to capture Berlin and made the decisive attack on the last day of the catastrophic French defeat at Leipzig.
After the War of the Sixth Coalition, Charles John forced King Frederick VI of Denmark to cede Norway to Sweden, leading to the Swedish–Norwegian War of 1814 where Norway was defeated in 19 days. This put Norway into a union with Sweden, which lasted for almost a century before its peaceful 1905 dissolution. The Swedish–Norwegian war is viewed as Sweden’s last direct conflict and war.[5]
Upon the death of Charles XIII in 1818, Charles John ascended to the thrones. He presided over a period of peace and prosperity, and reigned until his death in 1844.
Rosamond Press 
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