Andy Kaufman Wins Pre-Debate

Yesterday, I could not recall the name Tony Clifton, and the dude who played him, the comic who invented Donald Trump’s style. Trump was Kaufman’s understudy who stole his act after Kaufman’s alleged death. They were a tag-team.

We all promised back when we would never forget Andy. We forgot, because Andy was the Herald of the coming age when we would be doing selfies and texting our family and friends, as if they really gave a shit what the fuck we did at any given moment. We all were from Hollywood in our own freaken way! We spit on people who wanted our autograph, just a minute of our time.

Andy broke the world out of its media cage. We didn’t know if we were coming or going. We could not second- guess Andy. He might do anything, insult anyone, anywhere, at any given time. He became a media bully. He shamelessly wrestled women, called them bloody cunts and did everything he could to humiliate them in front of a camera. He made rules – just for him! He forbid the audience to smoke, and came out blowing smoke in their face.

Andy invented the Male Victim, the Sore Loser, the Big Mouth. Andy won’t be making fun of Arnold Palmer who died today. I can’t say Mr. Trump won’t soil his memory, use his nick name ‘Dumpy’ in some manner in order to make Hillary look like a fat slime-ball. Hillary will do her Phyllis Diller laugh, and try to laugh it all off. Tony Clifton will win the election. He will do his act from the Oval Office, and half the nation will wonder if he is pulling our leg. Insulted World Leaders will storm out of the White House, and with flags flying, speed back to the United Nations. Trump will stand on the temple mount and declare Jerusalem the Capitol of the Hebrew and Christian World.

The Andy Kaufman rip-off will rule the world! He will have black folks rolling in the isles and sending him blessings. President Trump will produce an insulting James Brown impersonator, weighed down with Bling-Bling. He will send him into the ghettos as his Goodwill Ambassador – behind the wheel of a vintage Cadillac. Will Trump wrestle Putin in the ring. Will he wear a neck-brace? Will Donald make America, and wrestling, great again? Tune in next week, and see!

Kaufman was destined for the White House, when Death pinned his sorry ass to the mat.

Jon Presco