John Was a Love Slave

The Governor of Oregon was kept as a Love Slave. but, because of our States special Sadie Hawkins ‘Catch and Release Love Law’ Cylvia  had to marry John. or, let him go.

“Gosh darn it!”  Our young sprite said with despair after her aide uncovered this forgotten law.

“And, it’s Valentine’s Day!” she added.

Our new mayor, Oregon’s bi-Queen, will be celebrating this day with multiple partners. It came as no surprise to Oregonians, that this third significant other, is …….Cylvia.

Jon Presco

The subpoena was the first acknowledgment of a federal investigation against Kitzhaber and Cylvia Hayes. It marks yet another turn in a scandal that brought down Oregon’s longest-serving chief executive.

Kitzhaber’s resignation, which is to take effect Wednesday, cleared the way for Secretary of State Kate Brown to assume Oregon’s highest office and become the nation’s first openly bisexual governor.

It’s a stunning fall from grace for a politician who left the governor’s office in 2003 and then mounted a comeback in 2010 and returned to his old job.

“This is a sad day for Oregon. But I am confident that legislators are ready to come together to move Oregon forward,” said Brown, also a Democrat. Unlike most states, Oregon does not have a lieutenant governor. The secretary of state is next in line to succeed the governor.

The subpoena — served on the state Department of Administrative Services — demands records not just pertaining to the pair, but also to 15 others. They are people involved with the Kitzhaber administration and with companies Hayes did business with as a consultant while she was also working as an adviser to the governor.

The subpoena orders the agency to produce documents for a federal grand jury before March 10.

A spokesman for the agency, Matt Shelby, said the subpoena was received Friday afternoon. He said the agency would provide whatever requested records are in its possession.