Koch Brothers say Obama Really Is Satan

In a letter the Koch Brothers urgently claim the President of the United States really is Satan, and not the evil leader of the Democratic Party.

“The Sly One tricked us. He came up with Obamacare as a means to get the Good Elephant Children of God to defund the government and not raise the debt ceiling – so he could destroy the Beloved Capitalist System of the Selfish and Randish Virgin Mary.”

“I know we spent millions demonizing the President for revenge and political gain, but, that was just propaganda. Everyone knows that. But – he’s the real deal!”

“Look, almost every Republican Lawmaker understands Satan does not give a rat’s ass about helping the poor and elderly, and thus he invented Obamacare as a ruse. There are a few nuts in our party that believe Satan is a benevolent deity and not the Powerful King of the Totally Selfish Agenda. Is not Satan titled ‘The Great Deceiver’? Well, there ya go.”

“I have it from a good source, King Jesus wants the GOP to help him destroy ‘The Evil One’ by funding government and raising his beloved Debt Ceiling – pronto! If Jesus’ Tea Party Congress will do this, they will come away ‘Heroes of God’ – and ‘Winners For Jesus’.”

Sincerely

The Koch Brothers of God

WASHINGTON — Republican lawmakers are voicing increasing skepticism about dire warnings that failing to raise the debt ceiling would result in catastrophic default.
“I would dispel the rumor that is going around that you hear on every newscast, that if we don’t raise the debt ceiling, we will default on our debt,” said Sen. Tom Coburn, R-Okla., Monday on CBS This Morning. “We won’t. We’ll continue to pay our interest.”

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2013/10/07/debt-limit-denial/2937087/

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-250_162-57605716/dont-toy-with-the-debt-ceiling-bank-ceos-warn/

October 9, 2013

Dear Senator:

A great deal of what you read and hear about Koch Industries is erroneous or misleading. Indeed, there
was false information presented about Koch on the Senate floor by Senate Majority Leader Reid, who
claimed yesterday that Koch was behind the shutdown of the federal government in an effort to defund
the Affordable Care Act or “Obamacare.” Because several of you have asked what our position is on this
issue, we want to set the record straight and correct this misinformation.

Koch believes that Obamacare will increase deficits, lead to an overall lowering of the standard of health
care in America, and raise taxes. However, Koch has not taken a position on the legislative tactic of tying
the continuing resolution to defunding Obamacare nor have we lobbied on legislative provisions
defunding Obamacare.

Instead, Koch has focused on educating the public about reducing our nation’s debt and controlling
runaway government spending. We believe that Congress should, at a minimum, keep to sequester–level
spending guidelines, and develop a plan for more significant and widespread spending reductions in the
future. We also believe that Congress should work to rein-in rampant government spending so that it
becomes no longer necessary to continually raise the debt ceiling.

Congress should focus on these efforts: balancing the budget, tightening and cutting government
spending, curbing cronyism, and eliminating market–distorting subsidies and mandates.

We are hopeful this sets the record straight and that in the future Senator Reid and other politicians will
stop misrepresenting and distorting Koch’s positions.

Sincerely,

Philip Ellender
President, Government Public Affairs
Koch Companies Public Sector, LLC